Coelum Britannicum (The British Heaven) · chunk 4 of 15
Carew, Thomas · published 1634 · first performed or written 1634 [Feb 18] (Annals) masque · before the Court T12 Olympian gods: Jupiter, Juno, Venus and typicality 0.65 · 576 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T12: iupiter, saturn, iuno, venus, gods, mars, earth, titan, love, fair.
Heaven! Heaven is no more the place it was; a cloister of Carthusians, a Monastery of converted gods, Iove is grown old and fearful, apprehends a subversion of his Empire, and doubts lest Fate should introduce a legal succession in the legitimate heir, by repossessing the Titanian line, and hence springs all this innovation. we have had new orders read in the Presence Chamber, by the Vi-President of Pernassies, too strict to be observed long. Monopolies are called in, sophistication of wares punished, and rates imposed on Commodities. Injunctions are gone out to the Nectar Brewers, for the purging of the heavenly Beverage of a narcotic weed which hath rendered the Ideas confused in the Divine intellects, and reducing it to the composition used in Saturn's Reign. Edicts are made for the restoring of decayed housekeeping, prohibiting the repairs of Families to the Metropolis, but this did endanger an Amazonian mutiny, till the females put on a more masculine resolution of soliciting businesses in their own persons, and leaving their husbands at home for stallions of hospitality. Bacchus hath commanded all Taverns to be shut, and no liquour drawn after ten at night. Cupid must go no more so scandalously naked, but is enjoined to make him breeches though of his mother's petticoats. Ganymede is forbidden the Bedchamber, and must only minister in public. The gods must keep no Pages, nor Grooms of their Chamber under the age of 25. and those provided of a competent stock of beard. Pan may not pipe, nor Proteus juggle, but by especial permission. Vulcan was brought to an Oretenus and fined, for driving in a plate of Iron into one of the sun's Chariot-wheels and frost-nailing his horses upon the fifth of November last, for breach of a penal Statute prohibiting work upon Holidays, that being the annual celebration of the gigantomachy. In brief, the whole state of the Hierarchy suffers a total reformation, especially in the point of reciprocation of conjugal affection. Venus hath confessed all her adulteries, and is received to grace by her husband, who conscious of the great disparity betwixt her perfections and his deformities, allows those levities as an equal counterpoise; but it is the prettiest spectacle to see her stroking with her Ivory hand his collied cheeks, and with her sinewy fingers combing his sooty beard. Iupiter too begins to learn to lead his own wife, I left him practising in the milky way; and there is no doubt of an universal obedience, where the Lawgiver himself in his own person observes his decrees so punctually; who beside to eternize the memory of that great example of Matrimonial union which he derives from hence, hath on his bed chamber door, and ceiling, fretted with stars in capital letters, engraven the Inscription of CARLOMARIA. This is as much I am sure as either your knowledge or Instructions can direct you to, which I having in a blunt round tale, without State-formality, politic inferences, or suspected Rhetorical elegancies, already delivered, you may now dexteriously proceed to the second part of your charge, which is the raking of yond heavenly sparks up in the Embers, or reducing the etherial lights to their primitive opacity, and gross dark subsistence; they are all unriveted from the Sphere, and hang loose in their sockets, where they but attend the waving of your Caduce, and immediately they reinvest their pristine shapes, and appear before you in their own natural deformities.
seed 43: T28 · seed 44: T22 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Heaven! Heaven is no more the place it was; a cloyſter of Carthuſians, a Monaſtery of converted gods, Iove is growne old and fearefull, apprehends a ſubverſion of his Empire, and doubts leſt Fate ſhould introduce a legall ſucceſſion in the legitimate heire, by repoſſeſſing the Titanian line, and hence ſprings all this innovation. Wee have had new orders read in the Preſence Chamber, by the Vi-Preſident of Pernaſſies, too ſtrict to bee obſerved long. Monopolies are called in, ſophiſtication of wares puniſhed, and rates impoſed on Commodities. Injunctions are gone out to the Nectar Brewers, for the purging of the heavenly Beverage of a narcotique weed which hath rendred the Idaeacs confus'd in the Divine intellects, and reducing it to the compoſition uſed in Saturnes Reigne. Edicts are made for the reſtoring of decayed houſekeeping, prohibiting the repayrs of Families to the Metropolis, but this did endanger an Amazonian mutiny, till the females put on a more maſculine reſolution of ſolliciting buſineſſes in their owne perſons, and leaving their husbands at home for ſtallions of hoſpitality. Baccus hath commanded all Tavernes to be ſhut, and no liquor drawne after tenne at night. Cupid muſt goe no more ſo ſcandalouſly naked, but is enjoyned to make him breeches though of his mothers petticotes. Ganimede is forbidden the Bedchamber, and muſt onely miniſter in publique. The gods muſt keepe no Pages, nor Groomes of their Chamber under the age of 25. and thoſe provided of a competent ſtocke of beard. Pan may not pipe, nor Proteus juggle, but by eſpeciall permiſſion. Ʋulcan was brought to an Oretenus and fined, for driving in a plate of Iron into one of the Sunnes Chariot-wheeles and froſt-nailing his horſes upon the fifth of November laſt, for breach of a penall Statute prohibiting worke upon Holydayes, that being the annuall celebration of the Gygantomachy. In briefe, the whole ſtate of the Hierarchy ſuffers a totall reformation, eſpecially in the poynt of reciprocation of conjugall affection. Venus hath confeſt all her adulteries, and is receiv'd to grace by her husband, who conſcious of the great diſparity betwixt her perfections and his deformities, allowes thoſe levities as an equall counterpoize; but it is the prettieſt ſpectacle to ſee her ſtroaking with her Ivory hand his collied cheekes, and with her ſinowy fingers combing his ſooty beard. Iupiter too beginnes to learne to lead his owne wife, I left him practiſing in the milky way; and there is no doubt of an univerſall obedience, where the Lawgiver himſelfe in his owne perſon obſerves his decrees ſo punctually; who beſides to eternize the memory of that great example of Matrimoniall union which he derives from hence, hath on his bed chamber dore, and ſeeling, fretted with ſtarres in capitall letters, engraven the Inſcription of CARLOMARIA. This is as much I am ſure as either your knowledge or Inſtructions can direct you to, which I having in a blunt round tale, without State-formality, politique inferences, or ſuſpected Rhetoricall elegancies, already delivered, you may now dexteriouſly proceed to the ſecond part of your charge, which is the raking of yon heavenly ſparks up in the Embers, or reducing the Aetheriall lights to their primitive opacity, and groſſe darke ſubſiſtance; they are all unrivited from the Spheare, and hang looſe in their ſockets, where they but attend the waving of your Caduce, and immediately they reinveſt their priſtine ſhapes, and appeare before you in their owne naturall deformities.