Coelum Britannicum (The British Heaven) · chunk 2 of 15
Carew, Thomas · published 1640 · first performed or written 1634 [Feb 18] (Annals) masque · before the Court unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 476 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
Peace Railer, bridle your licentious tongue. And let this Presence teach you modesty. Let it if it can; in the mean time I will acquaint it with my condition. Know, (gay people) that though your Poets who enjoy by Patent a particular privilege to draw down any of the Deities from Twelfth-night till Shrove-tuesday, at what time there is annually a most familiar intercourse between the two Courts, have as yet never invited me to these Solemnities, yet it shall appear by my intrusion this night, that I am a very considerable Person upon these occasions, and may most properly assist at such entertainments. My name is Momus. ap-Somnus-ap-Erebus-aep-Chaos-ap-Demorgorgon-ap-Eternity. My Offices and Titles are, The Supreme Theomastix, Hypercritic of manners, Protonotary of abuses, Arch-Informer, Dilator General, Universal Calumniator, Eternal Plaintiff, and perpetual Foreman of the Grand Inquest. My privileges are an ubiquitary, circumambulatory, speculatory, interrogatory, redargutory immunity over all the privy lodgings, behind hangings, doors, curtains, through keyholes, chinks, windows, about all Venereal Lobbies, Skonces or Redoubts, though it be to the surprise of a perdu Page or Chambermaid, in, and at all Courts of civil and criminal judicature, all Counsels, Consultations, and Parliamentary Assemblies, where though I am but a Woolsacke god, and have no vote in the sanction of new laws, I have yet a Prerogative of wresting the old to any whatsoever interpretation, whether it be to the behoof, or prejudice, of Iupiter his Crown and Dignity, for, or against the Rights of either house of Patrician or Plebeian gods. My natural qualities are to make Iove frown, Iuno pout, Mars chafe, Venus' blush, Vulcan glow, Saturn quake; Cynthia pale, Phoebus hide his face, and Mercury here take his heels. My recreations are witty mischiefs, as when Saturn guelt his father; the Smith caught his wife and her Bravo in a net of Cobweb-Iron; and Hebe, through the lubricity of the pavement tumbling over the Halfpace, presented the Emblem of the forked tree. and discovered to the tanned Ethiopes the snowy cliffs of Culabria with the Grotta of Puteolum. But that you may arrive at the perfect knowledge of me, by the familiar illustration of a Bird of mine own feather, old Peter Aretine, who reduced all the Sceptres and Mitres of that Age tributary to his wit, was my Parallel; and Frank Rublais sucked much of my milk too; but your modern French Hospital of Oratory, is mere counterfeit, an arrant Mountebank, for though fearing no other fortunes than his Sciatica, he discourse of Kings and Queens with as little Reverence as of Grooms and Chambermaids, yet he wants their fangteeth, and Scorpions tail; I mean that fellow, who to add to his stature thinks it a greater grace to dance on his tiptoes like a Dog in a doublet, than to walk like other men on the soles of his feet.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Peace Rayler, bridle your licentious tongue. And let this Presence teach you modesty. Let it if it can; in the meane time I will acquaint it with my condition. Know, (gay people) that though your Poets who enjoy by Patent a particular privilege to draw down any of the Deities from Twelf-night till Shrove-tuesday, at what time there is annually a most familiar enter-course betweene the two Courts, have as yet never invited me to these Solemnities, yet it shall appeare by my intrusion this night, that I am a very considerable Person upon these occasions, and may most properly assist at such entertainements. My name is Momus. ap-Somnus-ap-Erebus-aep-Chaos-ap-Demorgorgon-ap-Eternity. My Offices and Titles are, The Supreme Theomastix, Hupercrittique of manners, Protonotarie of abuses, Arch-Informer, Dilator Generall, Vniversall Calumniator, Eternall Plaintiffe, and perpetuall Foreman of the Grand Inquest. My privileges are an ubiquitary, circumambulatory, speculatory, interrogatory, redargutory immunity over all the privy lodgings, behind hangings, doores, curtaines, through key-holes, chinkes, windowes, about all Veneriall Lobbies, Skones or Redoubts, though it be to the surprize of a perdu Page or Chambermaid, in, and at all Courts of civill and criminall judicature, all Counsels, Consultations, and Parlamentary Assemblies, where though I am but a Woolsacke god, and have no vote in the sanction of new lawes, I have yet a Praerogative of wresting the old to any whatsoever interpretation, whether it be to the behoofe, or prejudice, of Iupiter his Crowne and Dignity, for, or against the Rights of either house of Patrician or Plebeian gods. My naturall qualities are to make Iove frowne, Iuno powt, Mars chafe, Venus blush, Vulcan glow, Saturne quake; Cynthia pale, Phaebus hide his face, and Mercury here take his heeles. My recreations are witty mischiefes, as when Saturne guelt his father; the Smith caught his wife and her Bravo in a net of Cobweb-Iron; and Hebe, through the lubricity of the pavement tumbling over the Halfpace, presented the Embleme of the forked tree. and discover'd to the tann'd Ethiops the snowie cliffs of Culabria with the Grotta of Puteolum. But that you may arrive at the perfect knowledge of me, by the familiar illustration of a Bird of mine owne feather, old Peter Aretine, who reduc'd all the Scepters and Myters of that Age tributary to his wit, was my Parallell; and Frank Rublais suck'd much of my milke too; but your moderne French Hospitall of Oratory, is meere counterfeit, an arrant Mountebanke, for though fearing no other fortunes than his Sciatica, hee discourse of Kings and Queenes with as little Reverence as of Groomes and Chamber-maids, yet he wants their fangteeth, and Scorpions tayle; I meane that fellow, who to adde to his stature thinks it a greater grace to dance on his tiptoes like a Dog in a doublet, than to walke like other men on the soles of his feet.