Coelum Britannicum (The British Heaven) · chunk 4 of 15
Carew, Thomas · published 1640 · first performed or written 1634 [Feb 18] (Annals) masque · before the Court T12 Olympian gods: Jupiter, Juno, Venus and typicality 0.68 · 575 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T12: iupiter, saturn, iuno, venus, gods, mars, earth, titan, love, fair.
Heaven! Heaven is no more the place it was; a Cloister of Carthusians, a Monastery of converted gods, Iove is grown old and fearful, apprehends a subversion of his Empire, and doubts lest Fate should introduce a legal succession in the legetimate heir, by repossessing the Titanian line, and hence springs all this innovation. We have had new orders read in the Presence Chamber, by the Vi-President of Parnassus, too strict to be observed long, Monopolies are called in, sophistication of wares punished, and rates imposed on commodities. Injunctions are gone out to the Nectar Brewers, for the purging of the heavenly Beverage of a narcotic weed which hath rendered the Idaeaes' confused in the Divine intellects, and reducing it to the composition used in Saturn's Reign. Edicts are made for the restoring of decayed house-keeping, prohibiting the repair of Families to the Metropolis, but this did endanger an Amazonian mutiny, till the females put on a more masculine resolution of soliciting businesses in their own persons, and leaving their husbands at home for stallions of hospitality. Bacchus hath commanded all Taverns to be shut, and no liquor drawn after ten at night. Cupid must go no more so scandalously naked, but is enjoined to make him breeches, though of his mother's petticoats. Ganymede is forbidden the Bedchamber, and must only minister in public. The gods must keep no Pages, nor Grooms of their Chamber under the age of 25. and those provided of a competent stock of beard. Pan may not pipe, nor Proteus juggle, but by especial permission. Vulcan was brought to an Orotenus and fined, for driving in a plate of Iron into one of the Sun's Chariot-wheels, and frost-nailing his horses upon the fifth of November last, for breach of a penal Statute prohibiting work upon Holidays, that being the annual celebration of the Gigantomachy. In brief, the whole state of the Hierarchy suffers a total reformation, especially in the point of reciprocation of conjugal affection. Venus hath confessed all her adulteries, and is received to grace by her husband, who conscious of the great disparity betwixt her perfections and his deformities, allows those levitieses as an equal counterpoise; but it is the prettiest spectacle to see her stroking with her Ivory hand his collied cheeks, and with her snowy fingers combing his sooty beard. Iupiter too begins to learn to lead his own wife, I left him practising in the milky way; and there is no doubt of an universal obedience, where the Lawgiver himself in his own person observes his degrees so punctually; who besides to eternize the memory of that great example of Matrimonial union which he derives from hence, hath on his Bedchamber door, and ceiling, fretted with stars in capital Letters, engraven the Inscription of CARLOMARIA. This is as much I am sure as either your knowledge or Instructions can direct you to, which I having in a blunt round tale, without State-formality, politic inferences, or suspected Rhetorical elegancies, already delivered, you may now dexteriously proceed to the second part of your charge, which is the raking of your heavenly sparks up in the Embers, or reducing the ethereal lights to their primitive opacity, and gross dark subsistence; they are all unriveted from the Sphere, and hang loose in their sockets, where they but attend the waving of your Caduce, and immediately they reinvest their pristine shapes, and appear before you in their own natural deformities.
Other edition — placed after the fit, excluded from the main statistics
Position
nodes 69–69 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 4 of 15 in this edition
Length
575 words · 783 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T12 — Olympian gods: Jupiter, Juno, Venus and Marscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.681 (cosine to the topic centroid) · placed after the fit (approximate_predict), not counted in the topic statistics
Other seeds
seed 43: T28 · seed 44: T22 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Heaven! Heaven is no more the place it was; a Cloyster of Carthusians, a Monastery of converted gods, Iove is growne old and fearefull, apprehends a subversion of his Empire, and doubts lest Fate should introduce a legall succession in the legetimate heire, by repossessing the Titanian line, and hence springs all this innovation. We have had new orders read in the Presence Chamber, by the Vi-President of Parnassus, too strict to be observed long, Monopolies are called in, sophistication of wares punished, and rates imposed on commodities. Injunctions are gone out to the Nectar Brewers, for the purging of the heavenly Beverage of a narcotique weed which hath rendred the Idaeaes confus'd in the Divine intellects, and reducing it to the composition used in Saturnes Reigne. Edicts are made for the restoring of decayed house-keeping, prohibiting the repayre of Families to the Metropolis, but this did endanger an Amazonian mutiny, till the females put on a more masculine resolution of solliciting businesses in their owne persons, and leaving their husbands at home for stallions of hospitality. Bacchus hath commanded all Tavernes to be shut, and no liquor drawne after tenne at night. Cupid must goe no more so scandalously naked, but is enjoyned to make him breeches, though of his mothers petticotes. Ganimede is forbidden the Bedchamber, and must only minister in publique. The gods must keepe no Pages, nor Groomes of their Chamber under the age of 25. and those provided of a competent stocke of beard. Pan may not pipe, nor Proteus juggle, but by especiall permission. Vulcan was brought to an Orotenus and fined, for driving in a plate of Iron into one of the Sunnes Chariot-wheeles, and frost-nailing his horses upon the fifth of November last, for breach of a penall Statute prohibiting worke upon Holi-dayes, that being the annuall celebration of the Gygantomachy. In briefe, the whole state of the Hierarchy suffers a totall reformation, especially in the poynt of reciprocation of conjugall affection. Venus hath confest all her adulteries, and is receiv'd to grace by her husband, who conscious of the great disparity betwixt her perfections and his deformities, allowes those levities as an equall counterpoize; but it is the prettiest spectacle to see her stroaking with her Ivory hand his collied cheeks, and with her snowie fingers combing his sooty beard. Iupiter too beginnes to learne to lead his owne wife, I left him practising in the milky way; and there is no doubt of an universall obedience, where the Lawgiver himselfe in his owne person observes his degrees so punctually; who besides to eternize the memory of that great example of Matrimoniall union which he derives from hence, hath on his Bed-chamber door, and seeling, fretted with starres in capitall Letters, engraven the Inscription of CARLOMARIA. This is as much I am sure as either your knowledge or Instructions can direct you to, which I having in a blunt round tale, without Stateformality, politique inferences, or suspected Rhetoricall elegancies, already delivered, you may now dexteriously proceed to the second part of your charge, which is the raking of your heavenly sparks up in the Embers, or reducing the Etheriall lights to their primitive opacity, and grosse darke subsistance; they are all unrivited from the Spheare, and hang loose in their sockets, where they but attend the waving of your Caduce, and immediately they reinvest their pristine shapes, and appeare before you in their owne naturall deformities.