Shirley, James · published 1637 · first performed or written 1635 [licensed for stage, Oct 15] (Annals) comedy · Queen Henrietta Maria's Men · Phoenix/Cockpit T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy typicality 0.85 · 503 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
Your state is not so much as 'tis reported When you confer notes, all your husband's debts And your own reconciled— but that's not it Will so much spoil your marriage. As what sir? Let me know all my faults. Some men do whisper You are not over honest. All this shall not Move me to more than laughter, and some pity, Because you have the shapes of gentlemen, And though you have been insolent upon me, I will engage no friend to kick or cudgel you To spoil your living, and your limbs together, I leave that to diseases that offend you, And spare my curse, poor silken Vermin, and Hereafter shall distinguish Men from Monkeys. Brave soul, you brace of horseleeches, I have heard Their barbarous language Madam, youare too merciful, They shall be silent to your tongue, pray punish 'em. They are things not worth my character, nor mention Of any clean breath, so lost in honesty They cannot satisfy for wrongs enough, Though they should steal out of the world at Tyburn. We are hanged already. Yet I will talk a little to the pilchards, You two that have not 'twixt you both the hundred Part of a soul, course woollen witted fellows, Without a nap, with bodies made for burdens, You that are only stuffings for apparel As you were made but engines for your Tailors To frame their clothes upon, and get them custom; Until men see you move, yet, than you dare not Out of your guilt of being the ignobler beast But give a horse the wall, whom you excel Only in dancing of the brawls, because The horse was not taught the French way, your two faces, One fat like Christmas, other lean like Candlemas, And Prologue to a Lent, both bound together Would figure Ianus, and do many cures On Agues and the green disease by frighting, But neither can with all the characters And conjuring circles charm a woman, though she'd fourscore years upon her, and but one Tooth in her head, to love or think well of you; And I were miserable, to be at cost To court such a complexion, as your malice Did impudently insinuate, but I waste time And stain my breath in talking to such tadpoles. Go home and wash your tongues in Barley water Drink clean Tobacco, be not hot i'th' mouth, And you may scape the Beadle; so I leave you To shame and your own garters, Sir I must Entreat you for my honour do not penance 'em, They are not worth your anger, how I shall Acquit your lady's silence. Madam, I Am sorry to suspect, and dare revenge No cause of mine. It must become me to attend you home. You are noble—— farewell Mushrooms. Is she gone. I think we peppered her. I am glad 'tis over, But I repent no service for you Madam. To me? from whence a jewel a good preface, Be happy the conclusion. Some love letter—
nodes 1726–1793 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 24 of 41 in this edition
Length
503 words · 647 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T23 — Husbands, wives and jealousycross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.854 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: T28 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Your state is not so much as tis reported When you conferre notes, all your husbands debts And your owne reconcild— but thats not it Will so much spoile your marriage. As what sir? Let me know all my faults. Some men doe whisper You are not over honest. All this shall not Move me to more than laughter, and some pittie, Because you have the shapes of gentlemen, And though you have beene insolent upon me, I will engage no friend to kicke or cudgell you To spoile your living, and your limbes together, I leave that to diseases that offend you, And spare my curse, poore silken Vermine, and Hereafter shall distinguish Men from Monkies. Brave soule, you brace of horseleaches, I have heard Their barbarous language Madam, yare too mercifull, They shall be silent to your tongue, pray punish e'm. They are things not worth my character, nor mention Of any cleane breath, so lost in honesty They cannot satisfie for wrongs enough, Though they should steale out of the world at Tiburne. We are hang'd already. Yet I will talke a little to the pilchards, You two that have not twixt you both the hundred Part of a soule, course woollen witted fellowes, Without a nap, with bodies made for burdens, You that are onely stuffings for apparrell As you were made but engines for your Taylors To frame their clothes upon, and get them custome; Vntill men see you moove, yet, then you dare not Out of your guilt of being the ignobler beast But give a horse the wall, whom you excell Onely in dancing of the brawles, because The horse was not taught the French way, your two faces, One fat like Christmas, tother leane like Candlemas, And Prologue to a Lent, both bound together Would figure Ianus, and doe many cures On Agues and the greene disease by frighting, But neither can with all the characters And conjuring circles charme a woman, though Sha'd fourescore yeares upon her, and but one Tooth in her head, to love or thinke well of you; And I were miserable, to be at cost To court such a complexion, as your malice Did impudently insinuate, but I waste time And staine my breath in talking to such tadpoles. Goe home and wash your tongues in Barly water Drinke cleane Tobacco, be not hot i'th mouth, And you may scape the Beadle; so I leave you To shame and your owne garters, Sir I must Entreate you for my honour doe not pennance em▪ They are not worth your anger, how I shall Acquit your Ladies silence. Madam, I Am sorry to suspect, and dare revenge No▪ caus mine. It must become me to attend you home. You are noble — — farewell Mushroomes. Is she gone. I thinke we peperd her▪ I am glad tis over▪ But I repent no service for you Madam. To me? from whence a Iewell a good preface, Be happy the conclusion. Some love letter —