Ford, John · published 1638 · first performed or written 1638 (Annals) comedy · Queen Henrietta Maria's Men · Phoenix/Cockpit T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy typicality 0.88 · 489 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
I talk bawdily to thy wife? hang bawdry; good now mind thy business, lest thy hand slip. Give him kind words you were best, for a toy that I know. Confess, or I shall mar your grace in whiffing Tobacco or squirting of sweet wines down your gullet;— you have been offering to play the gelding we told ye of I suppose;— speak truth, (move the semicircle of your countenance to my left hand file) out with the truth; would you have had a leap. Spadone, thou art in a lamentable pickle, have a good heart and pray if thou canst, I pity thee. I protest and vow friend Secco, I know no leaps, I. Letcherously goatish and an Eunuch? this cut, and then— Confound thee, thy leaps and thy cuts, I am no Eunuch, you finical ass, I am no Eunuch; but at all points as well provided, as any he in Italy, and that thy Wife could have told thee: this your conspiracy, to thrust my head into a brazen tub of kitchen-sea, hoodwink mine eyes in mudsoap, and then offer to cut my throat in the dark like a Coward? I may live to be revenged on both of ye. Oh scurvy! thou art angry, feel man whether thy weasand be not cracked first. You must fiddle my brains into a jealousy, rub my temples with saffron, and burnish my forehead with the juice of yellows: have I fitted ye now sir? All's whole yet I hope? Yes, sirrah; all is whole yet; but if ever thou dost speak treason against my sweeting and me once more, thou'lt find a roguy bargain on't; dear, this was handled like one of spirit and discretion: Nitido has paged it trimly too; no wording, but make ready and attend at Court. Now we know thou art a man; we forget what hath passed, and are fellows and friends again. Wipe your face clean; and take heed of a Razor. The fear put me into a sweat; I cannot help it; I am glad I have my throat mine own, and must laugh for Company, or be laughed at. You find Sir, I have proved a ready servant, And brought th'expected guests, amidst these feastings, These costly entertainments; you must pardon My incivility that here sequesters Your ears from choice of music, or discourse To a less pleasant parley; night draws on, And quickly will grow old; it were unmanly For any Gentleman, who loves his honour, To put it on the rack; here is small comfort Of such a satisfaction as was promised, Though certainly it must be had; pray tell me What can appear about me to be used thus? My soul is free from injuries. My tongue from serious untruths, I never wronged you, Love you too well to mean it now. Not wronged me? (Blessed Heaven!) this is the bandy of a patience Beyond all sufferance.
nodes 2213–2244 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 34 of 36 in this edition
Length
489 words · 660 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T23 — Husbands, wives and jealousycross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.882 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T26 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
I talke baudily to thy wife? hang baudry; good now mind thy busines, lest thy hand slip. Give him kinde words you were best, for a toy that I know. Confesse, or I shall marre your grace in whissing Tobacco or squirting of sweet wines downe your gullet; —you have beene offering to play the gelding we told yee of I suppose;—speake truth, (move the semicircle of your countenance to my left hand file) out with the truth; would you have had a leap. Spadone, thou art in a lamentable pickle, have a good heart and pray if thou canst, I pitty thee. I protest and vow friend Secco, I know no leaps, I. Let cherously goatish and an Eunuch? this cutt, and then— Confound thee, thy leaps and thy cuts, I am no Eunuch, you finicall asse, I am no Eunuch; but at all points as well provided, as any he in Italy, and that thy Wife could have told thee: this your conspiracie, to thrust my head into a brazen tub of Kitchin-see, hudwinke mine eyes in mud-soape, and then offer to cut my throat in the darke like a Coward? I may live to be reveng'd on both of yee. Oh scurvy! thou art angry, feele man whether thy weason be not cracked first. You must fiddle my braines into a jealousie, rub my temples with saffron, and burnish my forehead with the juyce of yellowes: have I fitted yee now sir? All's whole yet I hope? Yes, sirrah; all is whole yet; but if ever thou dost speak treason against my sweeting and me once more, thoul't finde a roguy bargaine on't; deare, this was handled like one of spirit and discretion: Nitido has pag'd it trimly too; no wording, but make ready and attend at Court. Now we know thou art a man; we forget what hath past, and are fellowes and friends againe. Wipe your face cleane; and take heed of a Razor. The feare put me into a sweat; I cannot helpe it; I am glad I have my throat mine owne, and must laugh for Company, or be laught at. You finde Sir, I have prov'd a ready servant, And brought th'expected guests, amidst these feastings, These costly entertainments; you must pardon My incivility that here sequesters Your eares from choise of musique, or discourse To a lesse pleasant parley; night drawes on, And quickly will grow old; it were unmanly For any Gentleman, who loves his honour, To put it on the rack; here is small comfort Of such a satisfaction as was promis'd, Though certainly it must be had; pray tell me What can appeare about me to be us'd thus? My soule is free from injuries. My tongue from serious untruths, I never wrong'd you, Love you too well to meane it now. Not wrong'd mee? (Blest Heaven!) this is the bandie of a patience Beyond all sufferance.