Berkeley, William · published 1638 · first performed or written 1637 [1637-1638] (Annals) not in BritDrama T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy typicality 0.70 · 499 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
I was an Ass when I talked so: Those damned books of Chastity I read In my minority corrupted me; but since I'm practised in the World, I find there are No greater Libertines than married men. 'Tis true 'twas dangerous, this knot in the First Age, when it was a crime to break vows: But thanks to VENUS, the Scene is altered, And we act other parts. I'll tell thee, The privileges we enjoy when we are married. First, our secrecy is held Authentic, Which is assurance will take up any woman at Interest, that is not peevish, than the acquaintance Which our wives bring us, to whom at times I carry My wife's commendations, and if their husbands be Not at home, I do commend myself. For what I prithee? For a good Dancer, A good Rider, a good— any thing That I think will please 'em. Thou'lt have a damnable conceit of thy wife By thy knowledge and opinion of all other Women, unless you think her a Phoenix. 'Twill be my best resolution. But hark in thy Ear Rogue, I could be content to think, and Wish mine and all— for the public good, And wear my horns with as much confidence, As the best velvet head of'em all, and paint Them in my Crest, with this Inscription; These he deserved for his love to the Commonwealth. A rare fame you would purchase. A more lasting one than any Monument you can Repeat the Epitaph of, and would it not be Glorious to be commemorated as the first founder Of the Commonalty of undisparaged Cuckolds? Yes, and prayed for by bastards that got better Fathers than they were destined to by their mother's marriages. And cursed by Surgeons that were undone by Honest women's practices. And this done voluntarily, which you will Hardly avoid, though you have a thousand Guards to prevent it. I that, have been your Playfellow, shall be first suspected, And first banished. By JUPITER never; no, though't would preserve A thousand smooth foreheads: if she be honest Your Arts cannot alter her, and if otherwise, Had I not rather adopt a son of thine Than a stranger's: and confess truly CLEON, Would not you for this public benefit be Content to sacrifice a Sister, that we might Love no longer by obligations, but affection; and Seeing, liking, and enjoying, finished in a meeting. Unless I had means to appropriate one, you Cannot suspect but I should wish a title unto all: But what hopes have you of your Mistress? No airy ones of liking and affection, but mine Are built on terrafirma already, which her father Looks on greedily, and proportions This to that grandchild, to the second this. Is he not somewhat startled at the report of Thy debauchery? for though your thick set woods, And spreading Vineyards make excellent shades To keep away the Sun, I mean the piercing eye Of censure; yet some suspicious common fame will raise.
nodes 258–322 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 5 of 42 in this edition
Length
499 words · 640 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T23 — Husbands, wives and jealousycross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.698 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T26 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
I was an Asse when I talkt so: Those damb'd bookes of Chastity I read In my minority corrupted me; but since I'm practis'd in the World, I find there are No greater Libertines than married men. 'Tis true 'twas dangerous, this knot in the First Age, when it was a crime to breake vowes: But thankes to VENVS, the Scaene is altered, And we act other parts. I'le tell thee, The priviledges we enjoy when we are married. First, our secrecy is held Authentick, Which is assurance will take up any woman at Interest, that is not peevish, then the acquaintance Which our wives bring us, to whom at times I carry My wives commendations, and if their husbands be Not at home, I doe commend my selfe. For what I prethee? For a good Dancer, A good Rider, a good — any thing That I thinke will please 'em. Thou'lt have a damnable conceite of thy wife By thy knowledge and opinion of all other Women, unlesse you thinke her a Phoenix. 'Twill be my best resolution. But harke in thy Eare Rogue, I could be content to thinke, and Wish mine and all — for the publicke good, And weare my hornes with as much confidence, As the best velvet head of'em all, and paint Them in my Crest, with this Inscription; These he deserv'd for his love to the Common-wealth. A rare fame you would purchase. A more lasting one than any Monument you can Repeate the Epitaph of, and would it not be Glorious to be commemorated as the first founder Of the Commonalty of undisparag'd Cuckolds? Yes, and pray'd for by bastards that got better Fathers than they were destin'd to by their mothers marriages. And curs'd by Surgeons that were undone by Honest womens practices. And this done voluntarily, which you will Hardly avoide, though you have a thousand Guards to prevent it. I that, have beene your Play-fellow, shall be first suspected, And first banish'd. By JVPITER never; no, though't would preserve A thousand smooth fore-heads: if she be honest Your Arts cannot alter her, and if otherwise, Had I not rather adopt a sonne of thine Than a strangers: and confesse truely CLEON, Would not you for this publicke benefit be Content to sacrifice a Sister, that we might Love no longer by obligations, but affection; and Seeing, liking, and enjoying, finish'd in a meeting. Unlesse I had meanes to appropriate one, you Cannot suspect but I should wish a title unto all: But what hopes have you of your Mistris? No airy ones of liking and affection, but mine Are built on terrafirma already, which her father Lookes on greedily, and proportions This to that grand-child, to the second this. Is he not somewhat startled at the report of Thy debauchery? for though your thicke set woods, And spreading Vineyards make excellent shades To keepe away the Sun, I meane the piercing eye Of censure; yet some suspicious common fame will raise.