Heywood, Thomas · published 1638 · first performed or written c.1604(?) (Annals) comedy · Unknown T35 Fools, wit and railing typicality 0.73 · 487 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
Where are my brains? 'tis true, you are a Widow; and you dwell, let me see, I can never remember that place. In Kentstreet. Kentstreet, Kentstreet! and I can tell you wherefore you come. Why, and say true? You are a Wag, you are a Wag: why, what do you think now I would say? Perhaps, to know how many Husbands I should have. And if I should say so, should I say amiss? I think you are a Witch. In, in, I'll but read a little of Ptolomie, and Erra Pater; and when I have cast a Figure, I'll come to you presently. Now Wag, what wouldst thou have? If this were a wise-woman, she could tell that without asking. Now methinks I should come to know whether I were a Boy or a Girl; forsooth I lack a service. By my Fidelity, and I want a good trusty Lad. Now could I sigh, and say, Alas, this is some Bawd trade-fallen, and out of her wicked experience, is come to be reputed wise. I'll serve her, be't but to pry into the mystery of her Science. A proper stripling, and a wise, I warrant him; here's a penny for thee, I'll hire thee for a year by the Statute of Winchester: prove true and honest, and thou shalt want nothing that a good Boy— Here Wise-woman you are out again, I shall want what a good Boy should have, whilst I live: well, here I shall live both unknown, and my Sex unsuspected. But whom have we here? Come Haringfield, now we have been drinking of Mother Redcap's Ale, let us now go make some sport with the Wise-woman. we shall be thought very wise men, of all such as shall see us go in to the wise-woman's. See, here she is; how now Witch? How now Hag? How now Beldame? You are the wise-woman, are you? and have wit to keep your self warm enough, I warrant you. Out thou knave. And will these wild oats never be sowed? You Enchantress, Sorceress, she-devil; you Madam Hecate, Lady Proserpine, you are too old, you Hag, now, for conjuring up Spirits yourself; but you keep pretty young Witches under your roof, that can do that. ay, or my Family conjure up any Spirits! I defy thee, thou young Hare-brained— Forbear him till he have his Senses about him, and I shall then hold thee for a Wise-woman indeed.: otherwise, I shall doubt thou hast thy name for nothing. Come friend, away, if thou lovest me. Away you old dromedary, I'll come one of these nights, and make a racket amongst your she-caterwaulers. I prithee let's be civil. Out of my sight, thou she-mastiff. Patience, sweet Mistress. Now bless me, he hath put me into such a fear, as makes all my bones to dance, and rattle in my skin: I'll be revenged on that swaggering companion.
nodes 285–312 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 8 of 36 in this edition
Length
487 words · 692 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T35 — Fools, wit and railingcross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.729 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Where are my braines? 'tis true, you are a Widdow; and you dwell, let me see, I can never remember that place. In Kntstreet. Kentstreet, Kentstreet! and I can tell you wherfore you come. Why, and say true? You are a Wagge, you are a Wagge: why, what doe you thinke now I would say? Perhaps, to know how many Husbands I should have. And if I should say so, shuld I say amisse? I thinke you are a Witch. In, in, Ile but reade a little of Ptolomie, and Erra Pater; and when I have cast a Figure, Ile come to you presently. Now Wagge, what wouldst thou have? If this were a Wisewoman, shee could tell that without asking. Now me thinkes I should come to know whether I were a Boy or a Girle; forsooth I lacke a service. By my Fidelitie, and I want a good tsty Lad. Now could I sigh, and say, Alas, is some Bawd trade-falne, and out of her wicked experience, is come to bee reputed wise. Ile serve her, bee't but to pry mto the mysterie of her Science. A proper striping, and a wise, I warrant him; here's a penie for thee, Ile hire thee for a yeare by the Statute of Winchester: prove true and honest, and thou shalt want nothing that a good Boy— Here Wise-woman you are ot againe, I shall want what a good Boy should have▪ whilst I live: well, here I shall live both unknowne, and my Sex unsuspected. But whom have wee here? Come Harinld, now wee have beene drinking of Mother Red-caps Ale, let us now goe make some sport with the Wise-woman. Wee shall be thought very wise men, of all such as shall see us goe in to the Wise-womans. See, heere shee is; how now Witch? How now Hagge? How now Beldame? You are the Wisewoman, are you? and have wit to keepe your selte warme enough, I warrant you. Out thou knave. And will these wild oates never sown? You Inchantresse, , Shee-devill▪ you Madam , Lady , you are too old, you Hagge, now, for conuring up Spirits your selfe; but you keepe prettie yong Witches your roofe, that can do that. I, or my Family conjure up any Spirits! I defie thee, thou yong Hare-brain'd— Forbeare him till he have his Senses about him, and I shall then hold thee for a Wise-woman indeed.: otherwise, I shall doubt thou hast thy name for nothing. Come friend, away, if thou lovest me. Away you old Dromadary, Ile come one of these nights, and make a racket amongst your SheeCatterwaullers. I prethee let's be civill. Out of my sight, thou Shee-mastiffe. Patience, weet Mistris. Now blesse mee, hee hath put mee into such a feare, as makes all my bones to dance, and rattle in my skin: Ile be reveng'd on that swaggering companion.