Nabbes, Thomas · published 1638 · first performed or written 1633 (Annals) comedy · Queen Henrietta Maria's Men T30 Constables, justices and the watch typicality 0.87 · 492 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T30: constable, squire, tub, clay, worship, justice, turf, mr, hun, valentine.
I shall respect him Mris. Tongall. Mr. Constable I do conceive an abuse done to my person, in that you here traduce two strangers, pretending appointment, when none will accuse them; nor can I suddenly discover the error. Now by all the painted authority of my staff— No swearing Constable; I have determined to confer a power upon the accused, to judge both it and you; and the most offenders shall suffer what shall be due. Whither shall I fall! from my Empire of command, to obey a mock-Constable! The danger of example forbid it, that Clowns and fools be not made Justices in earnest. No more of this modesty: I'll have it so; and exercise your wit. I have known a Country fellow full of knavish clinches. Yes Sir, 'tis ordinary in a Smith. Then if I fit you not for a Justice. And I for a Constable. You shall hear my tone. And I for an offendor. Can you write and read young gentleman? Like a gentleman. Then you shall be my worship's Clerk. And so I assume authority. (hem, hem) Now shall we be jeered out of our skins. Set a good face on't. (hem, hem,) what are you sirrah? I am Dobson, the Constable an't please your Worship. He lies and't please your Worship, I am the Constable. You were the Constable; but your dignity is justly taken from you, and conferred upon honest Iohn Dobson. Thou hast been a rascal sirrah, a corrupt Constable. Thou hast conversed with deeds of darkness, hating the all light, but wenches and a lantern: which a married Constable can never want at midnight. Thou hast watched little and prayed less: thou shalt therefore fast thyself into amendment. And so I commit thee with thy guard of Billmen to the mercy of a Shrove-Tuesdays rebellion. (hem, hem.) Here's another defendant, and't please your Worship. Now Sir, what are you? A Justice's Clerk. Oh, I know you sirrah. You write true Latin, not to be understood by the Worshipful bench. Your Worship is misinformed. I cannot write true Orthography without a Copy; and for Latin, I have less than the Dean of Dunstable. I have read Ignoramus: but finding hard words which were not in the Dictionary; I swear I understand it no more than Ignoramus himself. Make his Mittimus and send him to school; (hem, hem,) what are you Sir? A Gentleman Usher. You are a Malkin of mock-Gentry; made up of silk and vainglory. You begin to grow out of fashion. I will therefore have you stitched into a case of compliments, and commended to some thrifty housekeeping Lady in the Country, where you may save her Ladyship the charge of a Tailor; and if you can read, serve for a house-chaplain in rainy weather. (hem, hem.) Bring that Country Gentleman before me. You'd grow saucy sirrah. Pray let's uphold the jest. I'll not spare mine own person. Your servant's witty.
seed 43: T36 · seed 44: T35 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
I shall respect him Mris. Tongall. Mr. Constable I doe conceive an abuse done to my person, in that you here traduce two strangers, pretending appointment, when none will accuse them; nor can I suddainly discover the errour. Now by all the painted authoritie of my staffe— No swearing Constable; I have determin'd to conferre a power upon the accused, to judge both it and you; and the most offendors shall suffer what shall be due. Whither shall I fall! from my Empire of command, to obey a mock-Constable! danger of example forbid it, that Clownes and fooles b not made Justices in earnest. No more of this modestie: I'le have it so; and exercise your wit. I have knowne a Countrey fellow full of knavish clinches. Yes Sir, 'tis ordinary in a Smith. Then if I fit you not for a Justice. And I for a Constable. You shall heare my tone. And I for an offendor. Can you write and read young gentleman? Like a gentleman. Then you shall be my Worships Clerke. And so I assume authoritie. (hem, hem) Now shall we be jeer'd out of our skins. Set a good face on't. (hem, hem,) what are you sirrah? I am Dobson, the Constable and' please your Worshp. He lies and't please your Worship, I am the Constable. You were the Constable; but your dignitie is justly taken from you, and conferr'd upon honest Iohn Dobson. Thou hast beene a raskall sirrah, a corrupt Constable. Thou hast converst with deeds of darknesse, hating the all light, but wenches and a lanthorne: which a married Constable can never want at midnight. Thou hast watch't little and pray'd lesse: thou shalt therefore fast thy selfe into amendement. And so I commit thee with thy guard of Bill-men to the mercie of a Shrove-Tuesdayes rebellion. (hem, hem.) Here's an other refendant, and't please your Worship. Nw Sir, what are you? A Justices Clerke. Oh, I know you sirrah. You write true Latine, not to be understood by the Worshipfull bench. Your Worship is misinform'd. I cannot write true Orthographie without a Copie; and for Latine, I have lesse then the Dean of Dunstable. I have read Ignoramus: but finding hard words which were not in the Dictionary; I sweare I understand it no more then Ignoramus himselfe. Make his Mittimus and send him to schoole; (hem, hem,) what are you Sir? A Gentleman Vsher. You are a Malki of mock-Gentry; made up of silke and vaine-glory. You begin to grow out of fashion. I will therefore have you stitcht into a case of complements, and commended to some thrifty house-keeping Ladie in the Countrey, where you may save her Ladiship the charge of a Taylour; and if you can read, serve for a house-Chaplaine in rainy weather. (hem, hem.) Bring that Countrey Gentleman before me. You' grow saucie sirrah. Pray let's uphold the jest. I'le not spare mine owne person. Your servant's witty.