Nabbes, Thomas · published 1640 · first performed or written 1640 (Annals) not in BritDrama · Beeston's Boys · Phoenix/Cockpit T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy typicality 0.81 · 480 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
Sir, the respects I bear you, and the obedience I owe my husband that commanded it, brought me over willingly to offer my service to so noble a friend. Your courtesies overcome me. A rot on the best linings of your three piled durable; your everlasting almanac of high days, feasts and sessions: was it my desire? Thou liest thou wrong side of a lawyer turned outwards: I had better business at home. I could have seen if mother Whirl had spun the last pound of flax I sent her, or called at Knocks the weavers for my new Napkins. I have no maids to cudgel their tasks out of. Indeed I can hardly keep any for such a goat as thou art. Are ye offended with your husband Mrs. Ferret? Obedience forbid it; my head: or if I may use the honourable phrase here without offence, my cap of maintenance. No no sir; she was but excusing a few faults. How sir lubber, must the world take notice by you that I have faults or modesty to excuse them? I'll make thee complain a month of the fairies for this: the fairies of my nails I mean; and pretend pinching for pissing in thy shoes, or such night uncleanness. Sweet wife forbear a little. Thou wilt vex away thy eating stomach, and here will be excellent cheer. So, so: I thought a City seast with a Ram-mutton pasty, and a twelve nooked custard, made with carryers eggs and the out scrapings of isinglass, must tempt you to the charge of six pence over, and six pence back again. Which with an addition of clerk's fees shared, and some garrisoned westphalian neat's tongue or red dear pie out of my Chamber cupboard, might have been an entertainment for the Masters of the Parish in your own dining room; and all have been paid for too with the return of half emptied bottles. Your wife Mr. Ferret hath called something to mind deserves a chiding. Fie no sir: She is somewhat shrewish at home, but the best wife abroad— Fie, sweet heart now you flatter. 'Tis virtue enough in us to be obedient and dutiful: we should lay ourselves under our husband's feet if they command it. But i'll exalt myself or somewhat else above your head, you malkin of suburb authority set up only to fright crows from the carrion of the common wealth, that it may lie still and corrupt government. Your worship had best bind my tongue to the peace, my nails should soon bail it. My Bride come? The welcom'st guest that ever blessed this roof. Joy Crown ye both. May your wish be prophetic. But why is she so sad? 'Tis only custom. Maids have their fears which by degrees must leave them. May she make him a happy wife; and prove obedient from my example.
nodes 256–275 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 5 of 31 in this edition
Length
480 words · 618 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T23 — Husbands, wives and jealousycross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.809 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T26 · seed 44: T28 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Sir, the respects I beare you, and the obedience I owe my husband that commanded it, brought me over willingly to offer my service to so noble a freind. Your courtesies overcome me. A rot on the best linings of your three pil'd durable; your everlasting almanack of high dayes, feastes and sessions: was it my desire? Thou lyest thou wrong side of a lawyer turn'd outwards: I had better businesse at home. I could have seen if mother Whirl had spun the last pound of flax I sent her, or called at Knocks the weavers for my new Napkins. I have no maides to cudgell their tasks out of. Indeed I can hardly keepe any for such a goat as thou art. Are ye offended with your husband Mrs. Ferret? Obedience forbid it; my head: or if I may use the honorable phrase here without offence, my cap of maintenance. No no sir; shee was but excusing a few faults. How sir lubber, must the world take notice by you that I have faults or modesty to excuse them? I'le make thee complain a moneth of the fairies for this: the fairies of my nayles I meane; and pretend pinching for pissing in thy shooes, or such night uncleanesse. Sweet wife forbear a little. Thou wilt vex away thy eating stomack, and here will be excellent cheer. So, so: I thought a Citty seast with a Ram-mutton pasty, and a twelve nookt custard, made with carryers eggs and the out scrapings of iinglas, must tempt you to the charge of six pence over, and six pence back agen. Which with an addition of Clerks fees shar'd, and some garrison'd westphalian neates tongue or red deer pye out of my Chamber cupbord, might have been an intertainment for the Masters of the Parish in your own dyning roome; and all have been payd for too with the return of half emptyed botles. Your wife Mr. Ferret hath call'd something to mind deserves a chiding. Fye no sir: Shee is somewhat shrewish at home, but the best wife abroad— Fy, sweet heart now you flatter. 'Tis virtue enough in us to be obedient and dutyfull: we should lay our selves under our husbands feet if they command it. But i'le exalt my self or somewhat else above your head, you malkin of suburb authority set up only to fright crows from the carrion of the common wealth, that it may ly still and corrupt government. Your worship had best bind my tongue to the peace, my nayles should soone bayle it. My Bride come? The welcom'st guest that ever blest this roof. Joy Crown yee both. May your wish be prophetick. But why is she so sad? 'Tis onely custome. Maides have their feares which by degrees must leave them. May shee make him a happy wife; and prove obedient from my example.