Porter, Henry · published 1599 · first performed or written 1598(?) (Annals) comedy · Admiral's (Nottingham's) Men T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy typicality 0.85 · 460 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
Beshrew me, but my wives jests grow too bitter, Plainer speeches for her were more better, Malice lies emboweled in her tongue, And new hatched hate makes every jest a wrong. Look ye mistress now I hit ye. Why I, you never use to miss a blot, Especially when it stands so fair to hit. How mean ye mistress Barnes? That mistress Gourse's in the hitting vain. I hot your man. ay, ay, my man, my man, but had I known, I would have had my man stood nearer home. Why had ye kept your man in his right place, I should not then have hit him with an ace. Right by the Lord, a plague upon the bones. And a hot mischief on the curser too. How now wife? Why what's the matter woman? It is no matter. I am. I you are. What am I? Why that's as you will be ever. That's every day as good as Barnes's wife. And better too, then what needs all this trouble? A single horse is worse than that bears double. Wife go to, have regard to that you say, Let not your words pass forth the verge of reason: But keep within the bounds of modesty, For ill report doth like a Bailiff stand, To pound the straying, and the wit-lost tongue, And makes it forfeit into follies hands, Well wife, you know 'tis no honest part, To entertain such guests with jests and wrongs, What will the neighbouring country vulgar say, whenas they hear that you fell out at dinner? Forsooth they'll call it a pot quarrel straight, The best they'll name it, is a woman's jangling, Go too, be ruled, be ruled. God's Lord, be ruled, be ruled What, think ye I have such a baby's wit, To have a rod's correction for my tongue? School infancy, I am of age to speak, And I know when to speak, shall I be child for such a? What a? nay mistress speak it out, I scorn your stopped compares, compare not me To any but your equals, mistress Barnes, Peace wife be quiet. O persuade, persuade. Wife, mistress Goursey, shall I win your thoughts, To composition of some kind effects? Wife, if you love your credit leave this strife, And come shake hands, with mistress Goursey here, Shall I shake hands? let her go shake her heels, She gets nor hands, nor friendship at my hands, And so sir while I live I will take heed, What guests I bid again unto my house. Impatient woman, will you be so stiff in this absurdness? I am impatient now I speak, But sir I'll tell you more another time, Go too, I will not take it as I have done.
nodes 156–215 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 4 of 51 in this edition
Length
460 words · 597 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T23 — Husbands, wives and jealousycross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.855 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T26 · seed 44: T28 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Bshrew me, but my wiues iestes grow too bitter, Plainer speeches for her were more better, Malice lyes inbowelled in her tongue, And new hatcht hate makes euery iest a wrong. Looke ye mistresse now I hit yee. Why I, you neuer se to misle a blot, Especially when it stands so faire to hit. How meane ye mistresse Barnes? That mistresse Gourse's in the hitting vaine. I hot your man. I, I, my man, my man, but had I knowne, I would haue had my man stood neerer home. Why had ye kept your man in his right place, I should not then haue hit him with an ase. Right by the Lord, a plague vpon the bones. And a hot mischiefe on the curser too. How now wife? Why whats the matter woman? It is no matter. I am. I you are. What am I? Why thats as you will be euer. Thats euery day as good as Barneses wife. And better too, then what needs all this trouble? A single horse is worse then that beares double. Wife go to, haue regard to that you say, Let not your words passe foorth the vierge of reason: But keep within the bounds of modesty, For ill report doth like a Bayliffe stand, To pound the straying, and the wit-lost tongue, And makes it forseit into follies hands, Well wife, you know tis no honest part, To entertaine such guests with iests and wronges, What will the neighbring country vulgar say, When as they heare that you fell out at dinner? Forsooth they'l call it a pot quarell straight, The best they'l name it, is a womans iangling, Go too, be rulde, be rulde. Gods Lord, be rulde, be rulde What, thinke ye I haue such a babies wit, To hane a rods correction for my tongue? Schoole infancie, I am of age to speake, And I know when to speake, shall I be child for such a? What a? nay mistresse speake it out, I scorne your stopt compares, compare not me To any but your equals, mistresse Barnes, Peace wife be quiet. O perswade, perswade. Wife, mistresse Goursey, shall I winne your thoughts, To composition of some kinde effects? Wife, if you loue your credit leaue this stife, And come shake hands, with mistresse Goursey heere, Shall I shake hands? let her go shake her heeles, She gets nor hands, nor friendship at my hands, And so si while I liue I will take heed, What guests I bid againe vnto my house. Impatient woman, will you be so stiffe in this absurdnes? I am impatient now I speake, But sir Ile tell you more an other time, Go too, I will not take it as I haue done.