1 The Two Angry Women of Abingdon · chunk 39 of 51
Porter, Henry · published 1599 · first performed or written 1598(?) (Annals) comedy · Admiral's (Nottingham's) Men unassigned nearest T41 Household service: masters, doors and po · 495 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T41: master, house, door, iohn, old, mistress, basket, lord, gentleman, ick.
here's so hoing with a plague, so hang and ye will for I have been almost drowned, a pox of your lips, and ye call this kissing: ye talk of a drowned Rat, but 'twas time to swim like a dog I had been served like a drowned Cattles, I would he had digged his grave that digged the pond, my feet were foul indeed, but a less pale than a pond would have served my turn to wash them: a man shall be served thus always, when he follows any of these females but 'tis my kind heart that makes me thus forward in kindness unto them, well God amend them, and make them thankful to them that would do them pleasure I am not drunk I would ye should know it, and yet I have drunk more than will do me good, for I might have had a Pump set up, with as good March Beer as this was, and near set up an Ale bush' for the matter: well I am somewhat in wroth I must needs say, and yet I am not more angry than wise, nor more wise than angry, but i'll fight with the next man I mere, and it be but for luck's sake, and if he love to see himself hurt, let him bring light with him, i'll do it by darkling else by gods dines, well here will I walk whosoever says nay. He that worse may must hold the Candle, but my Master is not so wise as God might have made him, he is gone to seek a Hair in a hens nest, a Needle in a Bottle of Hay, which is as seldom seen as a black Swan: he is gone to seek my young Mistress, and I think she is better lost than found, for whosoever hath her, hath but a wet Eel by the tail, but they may do as they list, the law is in their own hands, but and they would be ruled by me, they should set her on the Leland, and bid the Devil split her, beshrew her fingers, she hath made me watch past mine hour, but I'll watch her a good turn for it. How, whose's that Nicholas? so first come first served, I am for him: how now proverb, proverb, 'sblood how now proverb? My name is Nicholas, Richard: and I know your meaning, and I hope ye mean no harm: I thank ye I am the better for your asking. Where have you been a whoring thus late, ha? Master Richard the good wife would not seek her daughter in the Oven unless she had been there herself, but good Lord you are knuckle deep in dirt, I warrant when he was in, he swore Walsingham, & chafed terrible for the time, look the water drops from you as fast as hops. What needst thou to care, whipper-jenny, Tripecheeks, out you fat ass.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Heeres so hoing with a plague, so hang and ye wil for I haue bin almost drownd, a pox of your lips, and ye call this kissing: yee talke of a drownd Rat, but twas time to swim like a dog I had bin serued like a drownd Catels, I would he hddidg his graue that digd the pond, my feete were foule indeed, but a lese pale then a pond would haue serued my turne to wash them: a man shall be serued thus alwayes, when he followes any of these females but tis my kinde heart that makes me thus forward in kindnes vnto them, well God amend them, and make them thankfull to them that would do thē pleasure I am not drunke I would ye should know it, and yet I haue drunke more then will do me good, for I might haue had a Pupe set vp, wh as good March Beere as this was, and nere set vp an Ale bush' for the matter: well I am somwhat in wroth I must needs say, and yet I am not more angrie then wise, nor more wise then angrie, but ile fight with the next man I meere, and it be but for luck sake, and if he loue to see him selfe hurt, let him bring light with him, ile do it by darkling els by gods dines, well heere will I walke whosoeuer sayes nay. He that worse may must holde the Candle, but my Maister is not so wise as God might haue made him, he is gone to seeke a Hayre in a Hennes nest, a Neede in a Bottle of Hae, which is as sildome seene as a black Swan: he is gone to seeke my yong Mistresse, and I thinke she is better lost then found, for who so euer hth her, hath but a wet Eele by the tail, but they may do as they st, the law is in their owne hands, but and they would be ruidy me, they should set her on the Leland, and bd the Dwell sp her, beshrew her fingers, she hath made me watch past mine hower, but Ile watch her a good turne for it. How, whose that Nicholas? so first come first serud, I am for him: how now prouerbe, prouerbe, sbloud howe now prouerbe? My name is Nicholas, Richard: and I kowe your meaning, and I hope ye meane no harme: I thanke ye I am the better for your asking. Where haue you been a whoring thus late, ha? Master Richard the good wife would not seeke her daughter in the Ouen vnlesse she had bin there her self, but good Lord you are knuckle deep in durt, I warrant when he was in, he swore Walsingham, & chaft terrible for the time, looke the water drops from you as fast as hops. What needst thou to care, whipper-Ienny, Tripecheekes, out you fat asse.