Jonson, Ben · published 1600 · first performed or written 1599 (Annals) comedy · Lord Chamberlain's (Hunsdon's) Men T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy typicality 0.75 · 485 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
This is such dotage as was never heard. Well, this must needs be granted. Granted quoth you? Nay Macilente; do not so discredit The goodness of your judgement to deny it, For I do speak the very least of her. And I would crave and beg no more of heaven For all my fortunes here, but to be able To utter first in fit terms, what she is, And then the true joys I conceive in her. Is't possible she should deserve so well As you pretend? ay, and she knows so well Her own deserts that (when I strive t'enjoy them) She ways the things I do, with what she merits: And (seeing my worth outweighed so in her graces) She is so solemn, so precise, so froward, That no observance I can do to her, Can make her kind to me: if she find fault, I mend that fault, and then she says I faulted That I did mend it. Now good Friend advise me How I may temper this strange Spleen in her. You are too amorous, too obsequious, And make her, too assured she may command you. When women doubt most of their husband's loves, They are most loving. husband's must take heed They give no gluts of kindness to their wives, But use them like their Horses, whom they feed Not with a manger-ful of meat together, But halfe a peck at once, and keep them so Still with an appetite to that they give them. He that desires to have a loving wife, Must bridle all the show of that desire: Be kind, not amorous, nor bewraying kindness, As if Love wrought it, but considerate Duty: " Offer no love-rites, but let wives still seek them, For when they come unsought, they seldom like them. Believe me Macilente, this is Gospel. O that a man were his own man so much, To rule himself thus; I will strive i' faith To be more strange and careless: yet I hope I have now taken such a perfect course, To make her kind to me, and live contented, That I shall find my kindness well returned, And have no need to fight with my affections. She (late) hath found much fault with every room Within my house; One was too big (she said) Another was not furnished to her mind, And so through all: All which I have altered. Then here she hath a place (on my backside) Wherein she loves to walk; and that (she said) Had some ill smells about it. Now this walk Have I (before she knows it) thus perfumed With herbs and flowers, and laid in diverse places (As 'twere on Altars consecrate to her) Perfumed Gloves, and delicate chains of Amber, To keep the air in awe of her sweet nostrils: This have I done, and this I think will please her. Behold she comes.
nodes 849–907 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 25 of 74 in this edition
Length
485 words · 622 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T23 — Husbands, wives and jealousycross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.754 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T26 · seed 44: T28 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
This is such dotage as was neuer heard. VVell, this must needs be granted. Graunted quoth you? Nay Macilente; doe not so discredit The goodnesse of your judgement to denie it, For I doe speake the very least of her. And I would craue and beg no more of heauen For all my fortunes here, but to be able To vtter first in fit tearmes, what she is, And then the true joies I conceiue in her. Is't possible she should deserue so well As you pretend? I, and she knowes so well Her owne deserts that (when I striue t'enjoy them) She waies the things I doe, with what she merits: And (seeing my worth outwai'd so in her graces) She is so solemne, so precise, so froward, That no obseruance I can doe to her, Can make her kind to me: if she find fault, I mend that fault, and then she saies I faulted That I did mend it. Now good Friend aduise me How I may temper this strange Splene in her. You are too amorous, too obsequious, And make her, too assur'd she may commaund you. VVhen women doubt most of their husbands loues, They are most louing. Husbands must take heed They giue no gluts of kindnesse to their wiues, But vse them like their Horses, whom they feed Not with a manger-full of meat together, But halfe a pecke at once, and keepe them so Still with an appetite to that they giue them. He that desires to haue a louing wife, Must bridle all the shew of that desire: Be kind, not amorous, nor bewraying kindnesse, As if Loue wrought it, but considerate Dutie: "Offer no loue-rites, but let wiues still seeke them, "For when they come vnsought, they seldome like them. Beleeue me Macilente, this is Gospell. O that a man were his owne man so much, To rule himselfe thus; I will striue i' faith To be more strange and carelesse: yet I hope I haue now taken such a perfect course, To make her kind to me, and liue contented, That I shall find my kindnesse well return'd, And haue no need to fight with my affections. She (late) hath found much fault with euery roome VVithin my house; One was too big (she said) Another was not furnisht to her mind, And so through all: All which I haue alter'd. Then here she hath a place (on my backeside) VVherein shee loues to walke; and that (shee said) Had some ill smels about it. Now this walke Haue I (before she knowes it) thus perfum'd VVith herbes and flowers, and laid in diuerse places (As 'twere on Altars consecrate to her) Perfumed Gloues, and delicate chaines of Amber, To keepe the aire in awe of her sweet nosthrils: This haue I done, and this I thinke will please her. Behold she comes.