Jonson, Ben · published 1616 · first performed or written 1599 (Annals) comedy · Lord Chamberlain's (Hunsdon's) Men T35 Fools, wit and railing typicality 0.80 · 475 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
Ha, ha: You might as well have told me, yond is heaven, This earth, these men; and all had moved alike. Do not I know the times condition? Yes MITIS, and their souls, and who they be That either will, or can except against me. None, but a sort of fools, so sick in taste, That they contemn all physic of the mind, And like galled camels kick at every touch. Good men, and virtuous spirits, that loathe their vices, Will cherish my free labours, love my lives, And with the fervour of their shining grace, Make my brain fruitful to bring forth more objects, Worthy their serious, and intentive eyes. But why enforce I this? as fainting? no. If any here chance to behold himself, Let him not dare to challenge me of wrong, For, if he shame to have his follies known, First he should shame to act 'em: my strict hand Was made to cease on vice, and with a gripe Squeeze out the humour of such spongy souls, As lick up every idle vanity. Why this is right Furor Poeticus! Kind gentlemen, we hope your patience Will yet conceive the best, or entertain This supposition, that a madman speaks. What? are you ready there? MITIS sit down: And my CORDATUS. Sound hough, and begin. I leave you two, as censors, to sit here: Observe what I present, and liberally Speak your opinions, upon every Scene, As it shall pass the view of these spectators. Nay, now, you're tedious Sirs, for shame begin. And MITIS, note me, if in all this front, You can espy a gallant of this mark, Who (to be thought one of the judicious) Sits with his arms thus wreathed, his hat pulled here, Cries meaw, and nods, then shakes his empty head, Will show more several motions in his face, Then the new London, Rome, or Niniveh, And (now and then) breaks a dry biscuit jest, Which that it may more easily be chewed, He sleeps in his own laughter. Why? will that Make it be sooner swallowed? O, assure you. Or if it did not, yet as HORACE sings, jeiunus raro stomachus vulgaria temnit, Mean cares are welcome still to hungry guests. 'Tis true, but why should we observe 'em, ASPER? O I would know 'em, for in such assemblies, theyare more infectious than the pestilence: And therefore I would give them pills to purge, And make 'em fit for fair societies. How monstrous, and detested is't, to see A fellow, that has neither art, nor brain, Sit like an ARISTARCHUS, or starke-asse, Taking men's lines, with a tobacco face, In snuff, still spitting, using his wried looks (In nature of a vice) to wrest, and turn The good aspect of those that shall sit near him, From what they do behold! O, 'tis most vile.
Other edition — placed after the fit, excluded from the main statistics
Position
nodes 132–193 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 3 of 74 in this edition
Length
475 words · 667 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T35 — Fools, wit and railingcross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.797 (cosine to the topic centroid) · placed after the fit (approximate_predict), not counted in the topic statistics
Other seeds
seed 43: T58 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Ha, ha: You might as well haue told me, yond is heauen, This earth, these men; and all had mou'd alike. Doe not I know the times condition? Yes MITIS, and their soules, and who they be That either will, or can except against me. None, but a sort of fooles, so sicke in taste, That they contemne all phisicke of the mind, And like gald camels kicke at euery touch. Good men, and vertuous spirits, that lothe their vices, Will cherish my free labours, loue my liues, And with the feruour of their shining grace, Make my braine fruitfull to bring forth more obiects, Worthy their serious, and intentiue eyes. But why enforce I this? as fainting? no. If any here chance to behold himselfe, Let him not dare to challenge me of wrong, For, if he shame to haue his follies knowne, First he should shame to act 'hem: my strict hand Was made to ceaze on vice, and with a gripe Squeeze out the humour of such spongie soules, As licke vp euery idle vanitie. Why this is right Furor Poeticus! Kind gentlemen, we hope your patience Will yet conceiue the best, or entertaine This supposition, that a mad-man speakes. What? are you ready there? MITIS sit downe: And my CORDATVS. Sound hough, and begin. I leaue you two, as censors, to sit here: Obserue what I present, and liberally Speake your opinions, vpon euery Scene, As it shall passe the view of these spectators. Nay, now, y'are tedious Sirs, for shame begin. And MITIS, note me, if in all this front, You can espy a gallant of this marke, Who (to be thought one of the iudicious) Sits with his armes thus wreath'd, his hat pull'd here, Cryes meaw, and nods, then shakes his empty head, Will shew more seueral motions in his face, Then the new London, Rome, or Niniueh, And (now and then) breakes a drie bisquet iest, Which that it may more easily be chew'd, He sleeps in his owne laughter. Why? will that Make it be sooner swallow'd? O, assure you. Or if it did not, yet as HORACE sings, " Ieiunus raro stomachus vulgaria temnit, " Meane cares are welcome still to hungry guests. 'Tis true, but why should we obserue 'hem, ASPER? O I would know 'hem, for in such assemblies, Th'are more infectious then the pestilence: And therefore I would giue them pills to purge, And make 'hem fit for faire societies. How monstrous, and detested is't, to see A fellow, that has neither arte, nor braine, Sit like an ARISTARCHVS, or starke-asse, Taking mens lines, with a tabacco face, In snuffe, still spitting, vsing his wryed lookes (In nature of a vice) to wrest, and turne The good aspect of those that shall sit neere him, From what they doe behold! O, 'tis most vile.