Cynthia's Revels, or The Fountain of Self-Love · chunk 23 of 66
Jonson, Ben · published 1616 · first performed or written 1600 [1600-1601] (Annals) satire · Children of the Chapel (second) T35 Fools, wit and railing typicality 0.79 · 508 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
O JOVE! sir, I could never get him to read a line to me. You must then wisely mix yourself in rank, with such, as you know can; and, as your ears do meet with a new phrase, or an acute jest, take it in: a quick nimble memory will lift it away, and, at your next public meal, it is your own. But I shall never utter it perfectly, sir. No matter, let it come lame. In ordinary talk you shall play it away, as you do your light crowns at primero: It will pass. I shall attempt, sir. Do. It is your shifting age for wit, and I assure you, men must be prudent. After this, you may to court, and there fall in, first with the waiting-woman, then with the lady. Put case they do retain you there, as a fit property, to hire coaches some pair of months, or so; or to read them asleep in afternoons upon some pretty pamphlet, to breath you; why, it shall in time embolden you to some farther achievement: In the interim, you may fashion yourself to be careless, and impudent.— How if they would have me to make verses? I heard Hedon spoke to for some. Why, you must prove the aptitude of your Genius; if you find none, you must hearken out a vein, and buy: provided you pay for the silence, as for the work. Then you may securely call it your own. Yes, and I'll give out my acquaintance with all the best writers, to countenance me the more. Rather seem not to know 'em, it is your best. I. Be wise, that you never so much as mention the name of one, nor remember it mentioned, but if they be offered to you in discourse, shake your light head, make between a sad and a smiling face, pity some, rail at all, and commend yourself: 't is your only safe, and unsuspected course. Come, you shall look back upon the court again today, and be restored to your colours: I do now partly aim at the cause of your repulse— (which was ominous indeed) for as you enter at the door, there is opposed to you the frame of a wolf in the hangings, which (surprising your eye suddenly) gave a false alarm to the heart; and that was it called your blood out of your face, and so routed the whole rank of your spirits: I beseech you labour to forget it. And remember (as I inculcated to you before, for your comfort) HEDON, and ANAIDES. heart, was there ever so prosperous an invention thus unluckily perverted, and spoiled by a whoreson bookworm, a candle-waster? Nay, be not impatient, HEDON. 'Slight, I would feign know his name. Hang him, poor grogram-rascal, pray thee think not of him: I'll send for him to my lodging, and have him blanketed when thou wilt, man. By gods so; I would thou couldst. Look, here he comes. Laugh at him, laugh at him, ha, ha, ha.
nodes 508–522 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 23 of 66 in this edition
Length
508 words · 673 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T35 — Fools, wit and railingcross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.791 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
O IOVE! sir, I could neuer get him to reade a line to me. You must then wisely mixe your selfe in ranke, with such, as you know can; and, as your eares doe meet with a new phrase, or an acute jest, take it in: a quicke nimble memory will lift it away, and, at your next publique meale, it is your owne. But I shall neuer vtter it perfectly, sir. No matter, let it come lame. In ordinary talke you shall play it away, as you doe your light crownes at primero: It will passe. I shall attempt, sir. Doe. It is your shifting age for wit, and I assure you, men must bee prudent. After this, you may to court, and there fall in, first with the wayting-woman, then with the lady. Put case they doe retaine you there, as a fit property, to hire coaches some paire of months, or so; or to read them asleep in afternoones vpon some pretty pamphlet, to breathe you; why, it shall in time imbolden you to some farther archivement: In the interim, you may fashion your selfe to bee carelesse, and impudent.— How if they would haue me to make verses? I heard Hedon spoke to for some. Why, you must prooue the aptitude of your Genius; if you find none, you must harken out a veine, and buy: prouided you pay for the silence, as for the worke. Then you may securely call it your owne. Yes, and I'le giue out my acquaintance with all the best writers, to countenance me the more. Rather seeme not to know 'hem, it is your best. I. Be wise, that you neuer so much as mention the name of one, nor remember it mention'd, but if they be offerd to you in discourse, shake your light head, make betweene a sad and a smiling face, pittie some, raile at all, and commend your selfe: 't is your onely safe, and vnsuspected course. Come, you shall looke back vpon the court againe to day, and be restor'd to your colours: I doe now partly aime at the cause of your repulse— (which was omenous indeed) for as you enter at the doore, there is oppos'd to you the frame of a woolfe in the hangings, which (surprizing your eye sodainely) gaue a false alarme to the heart; and that was it call'd your bloud out of your face, and so rowted the whole ranke of your spirits: I beseech you labour to forget it. And remember (as I inculcated to you before, for your comfort) HEDON, and ANAIDES. HArt, was there euer so prosperous an inuention thus vnluckily peruerted, and spoyl'd by a whore-sonne booke-worme, a candle-waster? Nay, be not impatient, HEDON. S'light, I would faine know his name. Hang him, poore grogran-rascall, pray thee thinke not of him: I'le send for him to my lodging, and haue him blanketted when thou wilt, man. By gods so; I would thou could'st. Looke, here hee comes. Laugh at him, laugh at him, ha, ha, ha.