Cynthia's Revels, or The Fountain of Self-Love · chunk 25 of 66
Jonson, Ben · published 1616 · first performed or written 1600 [1600-1601] (Annals) satire · Children of the Chapel (second) unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 508 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
do, good detraction, do, and I the while Shall shake thy spite off with a careless smile. Poor piteous gallants! What lean idle sleights Their thoughts suggest to flatter their starved hopes? As if I knew not how to entertain These straw-devices: but, of force, must yield To the weak stroke of their calumnious tongues. What should I care what every dor doth buzz In credulous cares? it is a crown to me, That the best judgements can report me wronged; Them liars; and their slanders impudent. Perhaps (upon the rumour of their speeches) Some grieved friend will whisper to me, CRITES, Men speak ill of thee; so they be ill men, If they spoke worse, 'twere better: for of such To be dispraised, is the most perfect praise. What can his censure hurt me, whom the world Hath censured vile before me? If good CHRESTUS, EUTHUS, or PHRONIMUS, had spoke the words, They would have moved me, and I should have called My thoughts, and actions, to a strict account Upon the hearing: But when I remember, 'Tis HEDON, and ANAIDES: alas, then, I think but what they are, and am not stirred. The one, a light voluptuous reveller, The other a strange arrogating puff, Both impudent, and ignorant enough; That talk (as they are wont) not as I merit: Traduce by custom, as most dogs do bark, Do nothing out of judgement, but disease, Speak ill, because they never could speak well. And who'd be angry with this race of creatures? What wise physician have we ever seen Moved with a frantic man? the same affects That he doth bear to his sick patient, Should a right mind carry to such as these: And I do count it a most rare revenge, That I can thus (with such a sweet neglect) Pluck from them all the pleasure of their malice. For that's the mark of all their ingenious drifts, To wound my patience, howsoe'er they seem To aim at other objects: which if missed, Their envy's like an arrow, shot upright, That, in the fall, endangers their own heads. WHat, CRITES! where have you drawn forth the day? You have not visited your jealous friends? Where I have seen (most honoured ARETE,) The strangest pageant, fashioned like a court, (At least I dreamt I saw it) so diffused, So painted, pied, and full of rainbow strains, As never yet (either by time, or place) Was made the food to my distasted sense: Nor can my weak imperfect memory Now render half the forms unto my tongue, That were convolved within this thrifty room. Here, stalks me by a proud, and spangled sir, That looks three handfuls higher than his foretop; Savours himself alone, is only kind And loving to himself: one that will speak More dark, and doubtful than six oracles; Salutes a friend, as if he had a stitch, Is his own chronicle, and scarce can eat For registering himself: is waited on By mimics, jesters, panders, parasites, And other such like prodigies of men.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
DOe, good detraction, doe, and I the while Shall shake thy spight off with a carelesse smile. Poore pittious gallants! What leane idle sleights Their thoughts suggest to flatter their staru'd hopes? As if I knew not how to entertaine These straw-deuices: but, of force, must yeeld To the weake stroke of their calumnious tongues. What should I care what euery dor doth buzze In credulous cares? it is a crowne to me, That the best iudgements can report me wrong'd; Them lyars; and their slanders impudent. Perhaps (vpon the rumour of their speeches) Some grieued friend will whisper to me, CRITES, Men speake ill of thee; so they be ill men, If they spake worse, 'twere better: for of such To be disprais'd, is the most perfect praise. What can his censure hurt me, whom the world Hath censur'd vile before me? If good CHRESTVS, EVTHVS, or PHRONIMVS, had spoke the words, They would haue moou'd me, and I should haue call'd My thoughts, and actions, to a strict accompt Vpon the hearing: But when I remember, 'Tis HEDON, and ANAIDES: alasse, then, I thinke but what they are, and am not stirr'd. The one, a light voluptuous reueller, The other a strange arrogating puffe, Both impudent, and ignorant inough; That talke (as they are wont) not as I merit: Traduce by custome, as most dogges doe barke, Doe nothing out of judgement, but disease, Speake ill, because they neuer could speake well. And who'ld be angry with this race of creatures? What wise physician haue we euer seene Moou'd with a frantike man? the same affects That he doth beare to his sicke patient, Should a right minde carrie to such as these: And I doe count it a most rare reuenge, That I can thus (with such a sweet neglect) Plucke from them all the pleasure of their malice. For that's the marke of all their inginous drifts, To wound my patience, howsoe're they seeme To aime at other obiects: which if miss'd, Their enui's like an arrow, shot vpright, That, in the fall, indangers their owne heads. WHat, CRITES! where haue you drawne forth the day? You haue not visited your jealous friends? Where I haue seene (most honour'd ARETE,) The strangest pageant, fashion'd like a court, (At least I dream't I saw it) so diffus'd, So painted, pyed, and full of rainbow straines, As neuer yet (eyther by time, or place) Was made the food to my distasted sence: Nor can my weake imperfect memorie Now render halfe the formes vnto my tongue, That were conuolu'd within this thriftie roome. Here, stalkes me by a proud, and spangled sir, That lookes three hand-fuls higher then his fore-top; Sauours himselfe alone, is onely kind And louing to himselfe: one that will speake More darke, and doubtfull then six oracles; Salutes a friend, as if he had a stitch, Is his owne chronicle, and scarce can eat For registring himselfe: is waited on By mimiques, jesters, pandars, parasites, And other such like prodigies of men.