Shakespeare, William · published 1623 · first performed or written 1597 [Apr 23] (Annals) comedy · Lord Chamberlain's (Hunsdon's) Men T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy typicality 0.79 · 460 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him, if you saw him. Hang him, mechanicall-salt-butter rogue; I will stare him out of his wits: I will awe-him with my cudgel: it shall hang like a Meteor o'er the Cuckold's horns: Master Broome, thou shalt know, I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife. Come to me soon at night: Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile: thou (Master Broome) shalt know him for knave, and Cuckold. Come to me soon at night. What a damned Epicurian-Rascall is this? my heart is ready to crack with impatience: who says this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made: would any man have thought this? see the hell of having a false woman: my bed shall be abused, my Coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at, and I shall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong: Terms, names: Amaimon sounds well: Lucifer, well: Barbason, well: yet they are Devil's additions, the names of fiends: But Cuckold, Wittol, Cuckold? the Devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an Ass, a secure Ass; he will trust his wife, he will not be jealous: I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my Cheese, an Irishman with my Aqua-vitae-bottle, or a Thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself. Then she plots, than she ruminates, than she devices: and what they think in their hearts they may effect; they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be praised for my jealousy: eleven o' clock the hour, I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it, better three hours too soon, than a minute too late: fie, fie, fie: Cuckold, Cuckold, Cuckold. Sir. Vat is the clock, Iack. 'Tis past the hour (Sir) that Sir Hugh promised to meet. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no-come: he has pray his Bible well, dat he is no-come: by gar (Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come. He is wise Sir: he knew your worship would kill him if he came. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill him: take your Rapier, (Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill kill him. Alas sir, I cannot fence. Villainy, take your Rapier. Forbear: here's company. Bless thee, bully-Doctor. 'Saue you Mr. Doctor Caius. Now, good Mr. Doctor. Give you good-morrow, sir. Vat be all you one, two, tree, four, come for?
nodes 444–460 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 17 of 42 in this edition
Length
460 words · 682 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T23 — Husbands, wives and jealousycross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.793 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T26 · seed 44: T28 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
I would you knew Ford, ſir, that you might auoid him, if you ſaw him. Hang him, mechanicall-ſalt-butter rogue; I wil ſtare him out of his wits: I will awe-him with my cudgell: it ſhall hang like a Meteor ore the Cuckolds horns: Maſter Broome, thou ſhalt know, I will predominate ouer the pezant, and thou ſhalt lye with his wife. Come to me ſoone at night: Ford's a knaue, and I will aggrauate his ſtile: thou (Maſter Broome) ſhalt know him for knaue, and Cuckold. Come to me ſoone at night. What a damn'd Epicurian-Raſcall is this? my heart is ready to cracke with impatience: who ſaies this is improuident iealouſie? my wife hath ſent to him, the howre is fixt, the match is made: would any man haue thought this? ſee the hell of hauing a falſe woman: my bed ſhall be abus'd, my Coffers ranſack'd, my reputation gnawne at, and I ſhall not onely receiue this villanous wrong, but ſtand vnder the adoption of abhominable termes, and by him that does mee this wrong: Termes, names: Amaimon ſounds well: Lucifer, well: Barbaſon, well: yet they are Diuels additions, the names of fiends: But Cuckold, Wittoll, Cuckold? the Diuell himſelfe hath not ſuch a name. Page is an Aſſe, a ſecure Aſſe; hee will truſt his wife, hee will not be iealous: I will rather truſt a Fleming with my butter, Parſon Hugh the Welſhman with my Cheeſe, an Iriſh-man with my Aqua-vitae-bottle, or a Theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then my wife with her ſelfe. Then ſhe plots, then ſhee ruminates, then ſhee deuiſes: and what they thinke in their hearts they may effect; they will breake their hearts but they will effect. Heauen bee prais'd for my iealouſie: eleuen o' clocke the howre, I will preuent this, detect my wife, bee reueng'd on Falſtaffe, and laugh at Page. I will about it, better three houres too ſoone, then a mynute too late: fie, fie, fie: Cuckold, Cuckold, Cuckold. Sir. Vat is the clocke, Iack. 'Tis paſt the howre (Sir) that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet. By gar, he has ſaue his ſoule, dat he is no-come: hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no-come: by gar (Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come. Hee is wiſe Sir: hee knew your worſhip would kill him if he came. By gar, de herring is no dead, ſo as I vill kill him: take your Rapier, (Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill kill him. Alas ſir, I cannot fence. Villanie, take your Rapier. Forbeare: heer's company. 'Bleſſe thee, bully-Doctor. 'Saue you Mr. Doctor Caius. Now, good Mr. Doctor. 'Giue you good-morrow, ſir. Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for?