Shakespeare, William · published 1623 · first performed or written 1597 [Apr 23] (Annals) comedy · Lord Chamberlain's (Hunsdon's) Men unassigned nearest T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy · 498 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
Sir Iohn, we have had ill luck: we could never meet: I will never take you for my Love again, but I will always count you my Deer. I do begin to perceive that I am made an Ass. I, and an Ox too: both the proofs are extant. And these are not Fairies: I was three or four times in the thought they were not Fairies, and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were Fairies. See now how wit may be made a Iacke-a-Lent, when 'tis upon ill employment. Sir Iohn Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and Fairies will not pinch you. Well said Fairy Hugh. And leave you your iealouzies too, I pray you. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woe her in good English. Have I laid my brain in the Sun, and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross ore-reaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh Goat too? Shall I have a Coxcomb of Freeze? 'tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted Cheese. Cheese is not good to give butter; your belly is all butter. Cheese, and butter? Have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes Fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking through the Realm. Why Sir Iohn, do you think though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight? What, a hodge-pudding? A bag of flax? A puffed man? Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrailes? And one that is as slanderous as Satan? And as poor as Iob? And as wicked as his wife? And given to Fornications, and to Taverns, and Sack, and Wine, and Metheglins, and to drink and swear, and stare? Pribbles and prabbles? Well, I am your Theme: you have the start of me. I am dejected: I am not able to answer the Welsh Flannel, Ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me, use me as you will. Marry Sir, we'll bring you to Windsor to one Mr Broome, that you have cozoned of money, to whom you should have been a Pander: over and above that you have suffered, I think, to repay that money will be a biting affliction. Yet be cheerful Knight. thou shalt eat a posset to night at my house, where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: Tell her Mr Slender hath married her daughter. Doctors doubt that; If Anne Page be my daughter, she is (by this) Doctor Caius wife. Whoa ho, ho, Father Page. Son? How now? How now Son, Have you dispatched?
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Sir Iohn, we haue had ill lucke: wee could neuer meete: I will neuer take you for my Loue againe, but I will alwayes count you my Deere. I do begin to perceiue that I am made an Aſſe. I, and an Oxe too: both the proofes are extant. And theſe are not Fairies▪ I was three or foure times in the thought they were not Fairies, and yet the guiltineſſe of my minde, the ſodaine ſurprize of my powers, droue the groſſeneſſe of the foppery into a receiu'd beleefe, in deſpight of the teeth of all rime and reaſon, that they were Fairies. See now how wit may be made a Iacke-a-Lent, when 'tis vpon ill imployment. Sir Iohn Falstaffe, ſerue Got, and leaue your deſires, and Fairies will not pinſe you. VVell ſaid Fairy Hugh. And leaue you your iealouzies too, I pray you. I will neuer miſtruſt my wife againe, till thou art able to woo her in good Engliſh. Haue I laid my braine in the Sun, and dri'de it, that it wants matter to preuent ſo groſſe ore-reaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welch Goate too? Shal I haue a Coxcombe of Frize? Tis time I were choak'd with a peece of toaſted Cheeſe. Seeſe is not good to giue putter; your belly is al putter. Seeſe, and Putter? Haue I liu'd to ſtand at the taunt of one that makes Fritters of Engliſh? This is enough to be the decay of luſt and late-walking through the Realme. Why Sir Iohn, do you thinke though wee would haue thruſt vertue out of our hearts by the head and ſhoulders, and haue giuen our ſelues without ſcruple to hell, that euer the deuill could haue made you our delight? What, a hodge-pudding? A bag of flax? A puft man? Old, cold, wither'd, and of intollerable entrailes? And one that is as ſlanderous as Sathan? And as poore as Iob? And as wicked as his wife? And giuen to Fornications, and to Tauernes, and Sacke, and Wine, and Metheglins, and to drinkings and ſwearings, and ſtarings? Pribles and prables? Well, I am your Theame: you haue the ſtart of me. I am deiected: I am not able to anſwer the Welch Flannell, Ignorance it ſelfe is a plummet ore me, vſe me as you will. Marry Sir, wee'l bring you to Windſor to one Mr Broome, that you haue cozon'd of money, to whom you ſhould haue bin a Pander: ouer and aboue that you haue ſuffer'd, I thinke, to repay that money will be a biting affliction. Yet be cheerefull Knight▪ thou ſhalt eat a poſſet to night at my houſe, wher I will deſire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughes at thee: Tell her Mr Slender hath married her daughter. Doctors doubt that; If Anne Page be my daughter, ſhe is (by this) Doctour Caius wife. Whoa hoe, hoe, Father Page. Sonne? How now? How now Sonne, Haue you diſpatch'd?