Blurt, Master Constable, or The Spaniard's Night Walk · chunk 1 of 34
Anonymous · published 1602 · first performed or written 1601 [1601-1602] (Annals) romance · Children of Paul's (second) unassigned nearest T46 Swords, quarrels and valour · 504 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T46: rapier, sword, fight, gentlemen, gentleman, kicked, kill, dagger, signor, valour.
I Mary Sir, the only rising up in Arms, is in the arms of a woman: peace (I say still) is your only Paradise, when every Adam may have his Christmas Eue: and you take me lying any more by the cold sides of a brazen-face field-piece unless I have such a Down pillow under me, I'll give you leave to knock up both my golls in my Father's hall, and hang hats upon these tenpenny nails. And yet brother, when with the sharpest hooks of my wit I laboured to pull you from the wars, you broke loose, like a horse that knew his own strength, and vowed, nothing but a man of war should back you. I have been backed since and almost unbacked too. And swore that honour was never died in grain, till it was dipped in the colours of the field. I am a new man Sister, and now cry a pox a that honour, that must have none but barber-surgeons to wait upon't, and a band of poor straggling rascals, that every twinkling of an eye, forfeit their legs and arms into the Lords hands Wenches by Mars his sweaty Buff jerkin, (for now all my oathes must smell a the Soldado) I have seen more men's head spurn'd up and down like footballs at a breakfast, after the hungry Cannons had picked them; than are Maidenheads in Venice: and more legs of men served in at a dinner, than ever I shall see legs of Capons in one platter whilst I live. Perhaps all those were Capons legs you did see. Nay mistress I'll witness against you for some of them. I do not think for all this, that my brother stood to it so lustily as he makes his brags for. No, no, these great talkers are never great doers. Faith brother how many did you kill for your share? Not so many as thou hast done with that villainous eye by a thousand. I thought so much that's just none. 'tis not a soldiers glory to tell how many lives he has ended, but how many he has saved: in both which honours the noble Hipolito had most excellent possession. Believe it my fair Mistress, though many men in a battle have done more, your brother in this equalled him who did most: he went from you a worthy Gentleman, he brings with him that title that makes a Gentleman most worthy; the name of a Soldier, which how well and how soon he hath earned, would in me seem glorious to rehearse, in you to hear: but because his own ear dwells so near my voice, I will play the ill neighbour, and cease to speak well of him. An argument that either you dare not, or love not to flatter. No more than I dare or love to do wrong; yet to make a Chronicle of my friends nobly-acted deeds, would stand as far from flattery in me, as cowardice did from him.
seed 43: T42 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
I Mary Sir, the onely rising vp in Armes, is in the armes of a woman: peace (I say still) is your onely Paradice, when euerie Adam may haue his Christmas Eue: and you take mee lying any more by the colde sides of a brazen-face field-peice vnlesse I haue such a Downe pillow vnder me, Ile giue you leaue to knocke vp both my golles in my Fathers hall, and hang hats vpon these ten-penny nailes. And yet brother, when with the sharpest hookes of my wit I labour'd to pull you from the warres, you broke loose, like a horse that knew his owne strength, and vow'd, nothing but a man of warre should backe you. I haue been backt since and almost vnbackt too. And swore that honour was neuer dyed in graine, till it was dipt in the cullors of the field. I am a new man Sister, and now cry a pox a that honor, that must haue none but Barber-Surgions to waite vpon't, and a band of poore stragling rascals, that euery twinckling of an eye, forfeit their legs and armes into the Lords hands Wenches by Mars his sweatty Buffe Ierkin, (for now all my must smell a the Soldado) I haue seene more mens head vp and downe like foote-balles at a breake-fast, after the hungry Cannons had pickt them; than are Maiden-heads in Venice: and more legs of men seru'd in at a dinner, then euer I shall see legs of Capons in one platter whilst I liue. Perhaps all those were Capons legs you did see. Nay mistris Ile witnes against you for some of them. I doe not thinke for all this, that my brother stood to it so lustilie as he makes his brags for. No, no, these great talkers are neuer great doers. Faith brother how many did you kill for your share? Not so many as thou hast done with that villanous eye by a thousand. I thought so much that's iust none. Tis not a Souldiers glory to tell howe many liues hee has ended, but how many he has saued: in both which honours the noble Hipolito had most excellent possession. Belieue it my faire Mistris, tho many men in a battle haue done more, your brother in this equal'd him who did most: he went from you a worthy Gentleman, he brings with him that tytle that makes a Gentleman most worthy; the name of a Souldier, which how wel and how soone he hath earn'd, would in me seeme glorious to rehearse, in you to heare: but because his owne eare dwels so neere my voice, I will play the ill neighbour, and cease to speake well of him. An argument that eyther you dare not, or loue not to flatter. No more then I dare or loue to doe wrong; yet to make a Cronicle of my friends nobly-acted deeds, would stand as far from flattery in me, as cowardize did from him.