Blurt, Master Constable, or The Spaniard's Night Walk · chunk 22 of 34
Anonymous · published 1602 · first performed or written 1601 [1601-1602] (Annals) romance · Children of Paul's (second) T16 Gallantry: ladies, lordships and complim typicality 0.68 · 462 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T16: lady, madam, gentleman, lordship, ladies, honour, mistress, sweet, court, servant.
How shall we know signor, when we have them all or not? I will furnish your capable understandings, out of my poor Spanish store, with the chief implements, and their appurtenances: Observe, It shall be your first and finest praise, to sing the note of every new fashion, at first sight; and (if you can) to stretch that note above Eela. Good. The more you pinch your Servants bellies for this, the smother will the fashion sit on your back: But if your good man, like not this Music, (as being too full of crotchets) your only way is, to learn to play upon the Virginals, and so nail his ears to your sweet humours: if this be out of time too, yet your labour will quit the cost; for by this means your secret friend may have free and open access to you, under the colour of pricking you lessons: Now, because you may tie your husband's love in most sweet knots, you shall never give over labouring, till out of his purse you have digged a garden: and that garden must stand a pretty distance from the city; for by repairing thither, much good fruit may be grafted. Mark that. Then (in the afternoon) when you address your sweet perfumed body, to walk to this garden, there to gather a nosegay, sops-in-wine, cowslips, columbines, hearts-ease; etc. The first principle to learn is, that you stick black patches for the rheum on your delicate blue Temples, though there be no room for the rheum; black patches are comely in most women, & being well fastened, draw men's eyes to shoot glances at you: Next, your ruff must stand in print, and for that purpose, get poking sticks with fair and long handles, lest they scorch your lily sweating hands: than your Hat with a little brim (if you have a little face) if otherwise, otherwise. Besides, you must play the wag with your wanton Fan; have your Dog (called Pearl or Min, or why ask you? or any other pretty name) dance along by you: your Embroidered Muff before you, on your ravishing hands; but take heed who thrusts his fingers into your Fur. we'll watch for that. Once a quarter take state upon you, and be chick; being chick, (thus politicly) lie at your garden; your lip-sworn servant may there visit you as a Physician: where otherwise, (if you languish at home) be sure your husband will look to your water: This thickness may be increased, with giving out that you breed young bones; and to stick flesh upon those bones, it shall not be amiss, if you long for Peascods, at ten groats the Cod; and for Cherries at a crown the Cherry. O dear Tutor! Interrupt him not.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: T21 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
How shall we know Signior, when wee haue them all or not? I will furnish your capable vnderstandings, out of my poore Spanish store, with the chiefe implements, and their appurtenances: Obserue, It shall be your first and finest praise, to sing the note of euery new fashion, at first sight; and (if you can) to stretch that note aboue Eela. Good. The more you pinch your Seruantes bellies for this, the smoother will the fashion sit on your backe: But if your good man, like not this Musicke, (as being too full of Crochets) your onely way is, to learne to play vpon the Virginals, and so naile his eares to your sweete humours: if this bee out of time too, yet your labour will quit the cost; for by this meanes your secret friend may haue free and open accesse to you, vnder the cullour of pricking you lessons: Now, because you may tye your husbands loue in most sweet knots, you shall neuer giue ouer labouring, till out of his purse you haue digged a garden: and that garden must stand a prettie distance from the Chittie; for by repairing thether, much good fruite may be grafted. Marke that. Then (in the after noone) when you addresse your sweet perfum'd body, to walke to this garden, there to gather a nose-gay, sops-in-wine, cowslips, columbines, hearts-ease; &c. The first principle to learne is, that you sticke blacke patches for the rewme on your delicate blew Temples, tho there bee no roome for the rewme; black patches are comely in most womē, & being wel fastened, draw mens eyes to shoote glances at you: Next, your ruffe must stand in print, and for that purpose, gette poking sticks with faire and long handles, least they scorch your lilly sweating handes: then your Hat with a little brim (if you haue a little face) if otherwise, otherwise. Besides, you must play the wag with your wanton Fan; haue your Dog (call'd Pearle or Min, or why aske you? or any other prettie name) daunce along by you: your Imbrodered Muffe before you, on your rauishing hands; but take heede who thrustes his fingers into your Furre. Wee'll watch for that. Once a quarter take state vpon you, and be chicke; being chicke, (thus politickly) lye at your garden; your lip-sworne seruant may there visit you as a Phisition: where otherwise, (if you languish at home) be sure your husband will looke to your water: This chicknes may be increast, with giuing out that you breed yongbones; and to sticke flesh vpon those bones, it shall not bee amisse, if you long for Pescods, at ten groates the Cod; and for Cherries at a crowne the Cherrie. O deare Tutor! Interrupt him not.