How a Man May Choose a Good Wife from a Bad · chunk 6 of 43
Anonymous · published 1602 · first performed or written 1602 [c.1601-1602] (Annals) comedy · Worcester's Men T4 Love-longing and the lover's complaint typicality 0.79 · 468 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T4: love, heart, sweet, loves, fair, phillis, eyes, beauty, amyntas, lovers.
Nay but hark you sir, will you not knock? Is't best to knock? I knock in any case. 'twas well you put it in mind to knock, I had forgotten it else I promise you. Tush, is't not my sons and your daughter's door, And shall we two stand knocking? Lead the way. Knock at our children's doors, that were a jest, Are we such fools to make ourselves so strange Where we should still be boldest? In for shame. We will not stand upon such ceremonies. Speak in what cue sir do you find your heart, Now thou hast slept a little on thy love? Like one that strives to shun a little plash Of shallow water, and avoiding it, Plunges into a River past his depth. Like one that from a small spark steps aside, And falls in headlong to a greater flame: But in such fires scorch not thyself for shame. If she be fire, thou art so far from burning, That thou hast scarce yet warmed thee at her face But list to me, I'll turn thy heart from love, And make thee loathe all of the feminine sex. They that have known me, knew me once of name To be a perfect wencher: I have tried All sorts, all sects, all states, and find them still Inconstant, fickle, always variable. Attend me man, I will prescribe a method How thou shalt win her without all peradventure, That would I gladly hear. I was once like thee, A fighter, melancholy, humorist, Crosser of arms, a goer without garters, A hatband-hater, and a busk-point wearer, One that did use much bracelets made of hair, Rings on my fingers, jewels in mine ears, And now and then a wench's carcanet, That had two letters for her name in Pearl: scarves, garters, bands, wrought waistcoats, gold, stitched caps, A thousand of those female fooleries, But when I looked into the glass of Reason, straight I began To loathe that female bravery, and henceforth Study to cry peccavi to the world. I pray you to your former argument, Prescribe a means to win my best beloved. First be not bashful, bar all blushing tricks, Be not too apish female, do not come With foolish Sonnets to present her with, With legs, with courtesies, congees, and such like: Nor with penned speeches, or too far fetched sighs, I hate such antic quaint formality. Oh but I cannot watch occasion, She dashes every proffer with a frown. A frown, a fool art thou afraid of frowns? He that will leave occasion for a frown, Were I his judge (all you his case bemoan) His doom should be, ever to lie alone. I cannot choose but when a wench says nay, To take her at her word and leave my suit.
seed 43: T2 · seed 44: T3 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Nay but harke you sir, will you not knock? Is't best to knock? I knock in any case. Twas well you put it in mind to knock, I had forgotten it else I promise you. Tush, ist not my sonnes and your daughters doore, And shall we two stand knocking? Leade the way. Knock at our childrens doores, that were a Iest, Are we such fooles to make our selues so straunge Where we should still be boldest? In for shame. We will not stand vpon such ceremonies. Speake in what cue sir do you find your hart, Now thou hast slept a little on thy loue? Like one that striues to shun a little plash Of shallow water, and auoyding it, Plunges into a Riuer past his depth. Like one that from a small sparke steps aside, And falls in headlong to a greater flame: But in such fiers scorch not thy selfe for shame. If she be fier, thou art so far frō burning, That thou hast scarce yet warmd thee at her face But list to me, Ile turne thy hart from loue, And make thee loath all of the feminine sexe. They that haue knowne me, knew me once of name To be a perfect wencher: I haue tried All sorts, all sects, all states, and finde them still Inconstant, fickle, alwaies variable. Attend me man, I will prescribea methode How thou shalt win hir without al peraduēture, That would I gladly heare. I was once like thee, A fighter, melancholy, humorist, Crosser of armes, a goer without garters, A hatband-hater, and a busk-point wearer, One that did vse much bracelets made of haire, Rings on my fingers, Iewels in mine eares, And now and then a wenches Carkanet, That had two letters for her name in Pearle: Skarfes, garters, bands, wrought wastcoats, gold, stitcht caps, A thousand of those female fooleries, But when I lookt into the glasse of Reason, strait I began To loath that femall brauery, and henceforth Studie to cry peccaui to the world. I pray you to your former argument, Prescribe a meanes to winne my best belou'd. First be not bashfull, bar all blushing tricks, Be not too apish female, do not come With foolish Sonets to present her with, With legs, with curtesies, congies, and such like: Nor with pend speeches, or too far fetcht sighes, I hate such antick queint formalitie. Oh but I cannot watch occasion, She dashes euery profer with a frowne. A frowne, a foole art thou afraid of frownes? He that will leaue occasion for a frowne, Were I his Iudge (all you his case bemone) His doome should be, euer to lie alone. I cannot chuse but when a wench saies nay, To take her at her word and leaue my sute.