How a Man May Choose a Good Wife from a Bad · chunk 15 of 43
Anonymous · published 1602 · first performed or written 1602 [c.1601-1602] (Annals) comedy · Worcester's Men T49 Wooing a mistress: suitors, go-betweens typicality 0.76 · 490 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T49: mistress, gentleman, love, lady, woman, pray, gentlewoman, hear, honest, way.
Why nothing: heard you not as well as I What he confessed? I say write nothing down. Mistress we have dismissed you, love your husband, Which whilst you do, you shall not hate your husband. Bring him before me, I will urge him with This Gentleman's express confession Against you: send him to me, I'll not fail To keep just nothing in my memory. And sir now that we have examined you, We likewise here discharge you with good leave. Now M. Arthur, and M. Lusam too, Come in with me, unless the man were here Whom most especially the cause concerns, We cannot end this quarrel: but come near, And we will taste a glass of our March beer. I prithee tell me Brabo, what Planet thinkst thou governed at my conception, that I live thus openly to the world? Two Planets rained at once, Venus that's you, And Mars that's I, were in conjunction. Prithee, prithee, in faith that conjunction copulative, is that part of speech that I live by. Ha, ha, to see the world, we swaggerers That live by oaths and big-mouthed menaces, Are now reputed for the tallest men: He that hath now a black muchato Reaching from ear to ear, or turning up Puncto reverso, bristling towards the eye: He that can hang two handsome tools at his side, Go in disguised attire, wear Iron enough, Is held a tall man and a soldier. He that with greatest grace can swear gog's zounds, Or in a Tavern make a drunken fray, Can cheat at Dice, swagger in bawdy houses, Wear velvet on his face, and with a grace Can face it out with as I am a soldier. He that can clap his sword upon the board he's a brave man, and such a man am I. She that with kisses can both kill & cure, That lives by love, that swears by nothing else But by a kiss, which is no common oath: That lives by lying, and yet oft tells truth; That takes most pleasure when she takes most pains: she's a good wench my boy, and such am I. She that is past it, and prays for them that may. Is an old Bawd as you are Mistress Splay. O do not name that name, do you not know That I could never endure to hear that name. But if your man would leave us, I would read The lesson that last night I promised you. I prithee leave us, we would be alone. And will and must: if you bid me be gone, I will withdraw, and draw on any he That in the world's wide round dare cope with me. Mistress farewell, to none I never speak So kind a word. My salvations are, Farewell and be hanged, or in the devils name. What they have been my many frays can tell, You cannot fight therefore to you farewell.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Why nothing: heard you not as wel as I What he confest? I say write nothing downe. Mistris we haue dismist you, loue your husband, Which whilst you do, you shall not hate your husband. Bring him before me, I will vrge him with This Gentlemans expresse confession Against you: send him to me, Ile not faile To keepe iust nothing in my memorie. And sir now that we haue examined you, We likewise here discharge you with good leaue. Now M. Arthur, and M. Lusam too, Come in with me, vnlesse the man were here Whom most especially the cause concernes, We cannot end this quarrell: but come neere, And we will taste a glasse of our March beere. I prethee tell me Brabo, what Planet thinkst thou gouernd at my conception, that I liue thus openly to the world? Two Planets raind at once, Venus thats you, And Mars thats I, were in coniunction. Prethee, prethee, in faith that coniunction copulatiue, is that part of speech that I liue by. Ha, ha, to see the world, we swaggerers That liue by oathes and big-mouth'd menaces, Are now reputed for the tallest men: He that hath now a black muchato Reaching from eare to eare, or turning vp Puncto reuerso, bristling towards the eye: He that can hang two hansom tooles at his side, Go in disguisde attire, weare Iron enough, Is held a tall man and a souldier. He that with greatest grace can sweare gogs zounds, Or in a Tauerne make a drunken fray, Can cheat at Dice, swagger in bawdie houses, Weare veluet on his face, and with a grace Can face it out with as I am a souldier. He that can clap his sword vpon the boord Hee's a braue man, and such a man am I. She that with kisses can both kil & cure, That liues by loue, that sweares by nothing else But by a kisse, which is no common oath: That liues by lying, and yet oft tels truth; That takes most pleasure when she takes most paines: Shee's a good wench my boy, and such am I. She that is past it, and praies for them that may. Is an old Bawd as you are Mistris Splay. O do not name that name, do you not know That I could neuer endure to heare that name. But if your man would leaue vs, I would read The lesson that last night I promist you. I prethee leaue vs, we would be alone. And will and must: if you bid me be gone, I will withdraw, and draw on any he That in the worlds wide round dare cope with me. Mistris farewell, to none I neuer speake So kind a word. My saluations are, Farewell and be hangd, or in the diuels name. What they haue bene my many fraies can tell, You cannot fight therefore to you farewell.