How a Man May Choose a Good Wife from a Bad · chunk 16 of 43
Anonymous · published 1602 · first performed or written 1602 [c.1601-1602] (Annals) comedy · Worcester's Men unassigned nearest T49 Wooing a mistress: suitors, go-betweens · 480 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T49: mistress, gentleman, love, lady, woman, pray, gentlewoman, hear, honest, way.
O this same swaggerer is the bulwark of my reputation But Mistress Splay, now to your lecture that you promised me: Daughter attend, for I will tell thee now What in my young days I myself have tried: Be ruled by me and I will make thee rich. You God be praised are fair, and as they say Full of good parts, you have been often tried To be a woman of good carriage, Which in my mind is very commendable. It is indeed. Forward good mother Splay. And as I told you, being fair, I wish Sweet daughter you were as fortunate. When any suitor comes to ask thy love, Look not into his words, but into his sleeve. If thou canst learn what language his purse speaks, Be ruled by that, that's golden eloquence. Money can make a slavering tongue speak plain. If he that loves thee be deformed and rich, Accept his love, gold hides deformity. Gold can make limping Vulcan walk upright, Make squint eyes look straight, a crabbed face look smooth, Guilds Copernoses, makes them look like gold. fills ages wrinkles up and makes a face As old as Nestor's, look as young as Cupid's. If thou wilt arm thyself against all shifts, Regard all men according to their gifts. This if thou practise, thou when I am dead Wilt say old mother Splay soft laid thy head. Soft who comes here? begone good Mistress Splay, Of thy rules practise this is my first day. God for thy passion what a beast am I, To scar the bird that to the net would fly. By your leave Mistress. What to do Master? To give me leave to love you. I had rather afford you some love to leave me. I would you would assoon love me, as I could leave you. I pray you what are you sir? A man I'll assure you. How should I know that? Try me by my word, for I say I am a man, Or by my deed, I'll prove myself a man. Are you not Master Arthur? Not M. Arthur, but Arthur, and your servant sweet Mistress Mary. Not Mistress Mary, but Mary and your handmaid, sweet Master Arthur. That I love you, let my face tell you: that I love you more than ordinarily, let this kiss testify: and that I love you fervently and entirely, ask this gift, and see what it will answer you. myself, my purse, and all being wholly at your service. That I take your love in good part, my thanks shall speak for me: that I am pleased with your kiss, this interest of another shall certify you: and that I accept your gift, my prostrate service and self shall witness with me. My love, my lips, and sweet self, are at your service: wilt please you to come near sir?
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
O this same swaggerer is the bulwark of my reputation But Mistris Splay, now to your lecture that you promist me: Daughter attend, for I will tell thee now What in my yong daies I my selfe haue tried: Be rul'd by me and I will make thee rich. You God be praisde are faire, and as they say Full of good parts, you haue bene often tried To be a woman of good carriage, VVhich in my mind is very commendable. It is indeed. Forward good mother Splay. And as I told you, being faire, I wish Sweet daughter you were as fortunate. VVhen any sutor comes to aske thy loue, Looke not into his words, but into his sleeue. If thou canst learne what language his purse speakes, Be rul'd by that, thats golden eloquence. Mony can make a slauering tongue speake plaine. If he that loues thee be deform'd and rich, Accept his loue, gold hides deformitie. Gold can make limping Vulcan walke vpright, Make squint eyes looke strait, a crabd face looke smooth, Guilds Copernoses, makes them looke like gold. Fils ages wrinkles vp and makes a face As old as Nestors, looke as yong as Cupids. If thou wilt arme thy selfe against all shifts, Regard all men according to their gifts. This if thou practise, thou when I am dead Wilt say old mother Splay soft laid thy head. Soft who comes here? begone good Mistris Splay, Of thy rules practise this is my first day. God for thy passion what a beast am I, To scar the bird that to the net would flie. By your leaue Mistresse. VVhat to do Maister? To giue me leaue to loue you. I had rather afford you some loue to leaue me. I would you would assoone loue me, as I could leaue you. I pray you what are you sir? A man Ile assure you. How should I know that? Trie me by my word, for I say I am a man, Or by my deed, Ile proue my selfe a man. Are you not Maister Arthur? Not M. Arthur, but Arthur, and your seruant sweete Mistris Mary. Not Mistris Mary, but Mary and your handmaid, sweet Maister Arthur. That I loue you, let my face tell you: that I loue you more then ordinarily, let this kisse testifie: and that I loue you fernently and entierly, aske this gift, and see what it will answere you. My selfe, my purse, and all being wholy at your seruice. That I take your loue in good part, my thankes shall speak for me: that I am pleasde with your kisse, this interest of an other shall certifie you: and that I accept your gift, my prostrate seruice and selfe shall witnes with me. My loue, my lips, and sweet selfe, are at your seruice: wilt please you to come neare sir?