How a Man May Choose a Good Wife from a Bad · chunk 23 of 43
Anonymous · published 1602 · first performed or written 1602 [c.1601-1602] (Annals) comedy · Worcester's Men unassigned nearest T3 Sickness, physic and doctors · 486 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T3: doctor, master, cure, disease, pray, physic, physician, mr, sick, lady.
No in sooth, I'll try the sharpness of my tooth, In steed of poison, I will eat rabbits, Capons, and such meat: And so as Pythagoras says, With wholesome fare prolong my days. But Sir will Mistress Mall be there? She shall, she shall man never fear. Then my spirit becomes stronger, And I will live and stretch longer: For Ovid said, and did not lie, That poisoned men do often die. But poison henceforth I'll not eat, Whilst I can other victuals get: To morrow if you make a feast, Be sure sir I will be your guest. But keep my counsel, vale tu, And till to morrow sir adieu: At your Table I will prove If I can eat away my love. O I am glad I have thee, now devise A way how to bestow it cunningly: It shall be thus: to morrow I'll pretend A reconcilement twixt my wife and me, And to that end I will invite thus many: First justice Reason, as the chief man there. My Father Arthur, old Lusam, young Lusam, M. Fuller, And M. Anselm I have bid already. Then will I have my lovely Mary too, Be it but to spite my wife before she die: For die she shall before tomorrow night. The operation of this poison is Not suddenly to kill, they that take it Fall in a sleep, and then 'tis past recure, And this will I put in her Cup tomorrow. This 'tis to have such a Master, I have sought him at the Change, at the school, at every place, but I cannot find him nowhere. O cry mercy, my Mistress would entreat you to come home. I cannot come tonight, some urgent business Will all this night employ me otherwise. I believe my Mistress would con you as much thank to do that business at home as abroad. Here take my purse, and bid my wife provide Good cheer against tomorrow, there will be Two or three strangers of my late acquaintance. Sirrah go you to justice reason's house, Invite him first with all solemnity. Go to my Fathers, and my Father in laws, Here take this note. The rest that come I will invite myself, About it with what quick dispatch thou canst. I warrant you Master I'll dispatch this business with more honesty, than you'll dispatch yours. But Master will the gentlewoman be there? What gentlewoman? The gentlewoman of the old house, that is as well known by the colour she lays of her cheese, as an Alehouse by the painting is laid of his lettuce: she that is like Homo, Common to all men: she that is beholding to no Trade, but lives of herself. Sirrah be gone, or I will send you hence. I'll go, but by this hand I'll tell my Mistress as soon as I come home, that Mistress Lightheels comes to dinner tomorrow.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
No in sooth, Ile try the sharpnes of my tooth, In steed of poyson, I will eate Rabets, Capons, and such meate: And so as Pithagor as saies, With wholesome fare prolong my daies. But Sir will Mistris Mall be there? She shall, she shall man neuer feare. Then my spirit becomes stronger, And I will liue and stretch longer: For Ouid said, and did not lie, That poysoned men do often die. But poyson henceforth Ile not eate, Whilst I can other victualls get: To morow if you make a feast, Be sure sir I will be your guest. But keep my counsell, vale tu, And till to morow sir adieu: At your Table I will proue If I can eate away my loue. O I am glad I haue thee, now deuise A way how to bestow it cunningly: It shall be thus: to morow Ile pretend A recocilement twixt my wife and me, And to that end I will inuite thus many: First Iustice Reason, as the chiefe man there. My Father Arther, old Lusam, yong Lusam, M. Fuller, And M. Anselme I haue bid alreadie. Then will I haue my louely Mary too, Be it but to spight my wife before she die: For die she shall before to morrow night. The operation of this poyson is Not suddenly to kill, they that take it Fall in a sleepe, and then tis past recure, And this will I put in her Cup to morrow. This tis to haue such a Maister, I haue sought him at the Change, at the schoole, at euery place, but I cannot finde him no where. O cry mercy, my Mistris would intreat you to come home. I cannot come to night, some vrgent busines Will all this night imploy me otherwise. I beleeue my Mistresse would con you as much thanke to do that businesse at home as abroad. Here take my purse, and bid my wife prouide Good cheare against to morrow, there will be Two or three strangers of my late acquaintance. Sirra goe you to Iustice Reasons house, Inuite him first with all solemnitie. Goe to my Fathers, and my Father in lawes, Here take this note. The rest that come I will inuite my selfe, About it with what quick dispatch thou canst. I warrant you Maister Ile dispatch this businesse with more honestie, then youle dispatch yours. But Maister will the gentlewoman be there? What gentlewoman? The gentlewoman of the old house, that is as wel knowne by the colour shee laies of her chees, as an Alehouse by the painting is laid of his Lettice: she that is like Homo, Common to all men: she that is beholding to no Trade, but liues of her selfe. Sirra be gone, or I will send you hence. Ile go, but by this hand Ile tell my Mistris as soone as I come home, that Mistris light-heeles comes to dinner to morrow.