How a Man May Choose a Good Wife from a Bad · chunk 24 of 43
Anonymous · published 1602 · first performed or written 1602 [c.1601-1602] (Annals) comedy · Worcester's Men T49 Wooing a mistress: suitors, go-betweens typicality 0.78 · 486 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T49: mistress, gentleman, love, lady, woman, pray, gentlewoman, hear, honest, way.
Sweet Mistress Mary I'll invite myself: And there I'll frolic, sup, and spend the night. My Plot is currant, here 'tis in my hand Will make me happy in my second choice, And I may freely challenge as mine own, What I am how enforced to seek by stealth. Love is not much unlike Ambition, For in them both all lets must be removed Twixt every Crown & him that would aspire, And he that will attempt to win the same, Must plunge up to the depth o'er head & ears, And hazard drowning in that purple sea. So he that loves, must needs through blood and fire, And do all things to compass his desire. Come spread the Table: Is the hall well rubbed, The cushions in the windows neatly laid, The Cupboard of plate set out, the Casements stuck With Rosemary and Flowers, the Carpets brushed? I forsooth Mistress. Look to the kitchen Maid, and bid the Cook take down the Oven stone, the pies be burnt: here take my keys and give him out more spice. Yes forsooth Mistress. Where's that knave Pipkin, bid him spread the cloth, Fetch the clean diaper napkins from my chest, Set out the guilded salt, and bid the fellow Make himself handsome, get him a clean band. Indeed forsooth Mistress he is such a sloven That nothing will sit handsome about him, He had a pound of soap to scour his face, And yet his brow looks like the chimney stock. he'll be a sloven still: Maid take this Apron, And bring me one of Linen, quickly Maid. I go forsooth. There was a curtsy, let me see't again. I that was well. I fear my guests will come Ere we be ready, what a spite is this. Mistress. What's the matter? Mistress I pray take Pipkin from the fire, We cannot keep his fingers from the roast. Bid him come hither, what a knave is that. Fie, fie, never out of the kitchen, Still broiling by the fire. I hope you will not take Pipkin from the fire Till the broth be enough. Well sirrah get a Napkin and a Trencher And wait today. So let me see my Apron. Mistress I can tell ye one thing, my M. wench Will come home today to dinner. She shall be welcome if she be his guest. But here's some of our guests are come already, A Chair for justice Reason sirrah. Good morrow Mistress Arthur, you are like a good housewife, At your request I am come home, what a Chair! Thus age seeks ease: where is your husband Mistress? What a cushion too! I pray you ease your tail Sir. Mary and will good fellow, twenty thanks. M. Hue as welcome as heart can tell, or tongue can think. I thank you M. Pipkin, I have got many a good dish of broth by your means.
seed 43: T5 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Sweet Mistris Mary Ile inuite my selfe: And there Ile frolick, sup, and spend the night. My Plot is currant, here tis in my hand Will make me happie in my second choyce, And I may freely chalenge as mine owne, What I am how infore't to seeke by stealth. Loue is not much vnlike Ambition, For in them both all lets must be remoued Twixt euery Crowne & him that would aspire, And he that will attempt to winne the same, Must plundge vp to the depth ore head & eares, And hazard drowning in that purple sea. So he that loues, must needs through blood and fire, And do all things to compasse his desire. Come spread the Table: Is the hall well rubd, The cushions in the windowes neatly laid, The Cupboord of plate set out, the Casements stuck With Rosemary and Flowers, the Carpets brusht? I forsooth Mistris. Looke to the kitchen Mayd, and bid the Cooke take downe the Ouen stone, the pies be burnt: here take my keyes and giue him out more spice. Yes forsooth Mistris. Where's that knaue Pipkin, bid him spred the cloth, Fetch the cleane diaper napkins from my chest, Set out the guilded salt, and bid the fellow Make himselfe handsome, get him a cleane band. Indeed forsooth Mistris he is such a slouen That nothing will sit handsome about him, He had a pound of sope to scowre his face, And yet his brow lookes like the chimney stocke. Heele be a slouen stil: Mayd take this Apron, And bring me one of Linnen, quickly Mayd. I goe forsooth. There was a curtsie, let me see't againe. I that was well. I feare my guests will come Ere we be readie, what a spight is this. Mistresse. What's the matter? Mistris I pray take Pipkin from the fire, We cannot keepe his fingers from the rost. Bid him come hither, what a knaue is that. Fie, fie, neuer out of the kitchin, Still broyling by the fire. I hope you will not take Pipkin from the fire Till the broath be inough. Well sirra get a Napkin and a Trencher And wait to day. So let me see my Apron. Mistris I can tell ye one thing, my M. wench Will come home to day to dinner. She shall be welcome if she be his guest. But heer's some of our guests are come alreadie, A Chaire for Iustice Reason sirra. Good morrow Mistris Arthur, you are like a good huswife, At your request I am come home, what a Chaire! Thus age seekes ease: where is your husband Mistris? What a cushion too! I pray you ease your taile Sir. Mary and will good fellow, twentie thankes. M. Hue as welcom as hart can tel, or tong can think. I thank you M. Pipkin, I haue got many a good dish of broth by your meanes.