Satiromastix, or The Untrussing of the Humorous Poet · chunk 43 of 44
Dekker, Thomas · published 1602 · first performed or written 1601 (Annals) comedy · Lord Chamberlain's (Hunsdon's) Men and Children of Paul's (second) T9 Theatre talk: prologues, poets and playe typicality 0.79 · 510 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T9: play, stage, poet, prologue, author, wit, plays, muse, scene, players.
'tis not your sting of conscience, is it? Upon him: Inprimis. Inprimis, you shall swear by Phoebus and the half a score Muses lacking one: not to swear to hang yourself, if you thought any Man, Ooman or Silde, could write Plays and Rhymes, as well-favoured ones as yourself. Well, said, hast brought him tooth gallows already? You shall swear not to bombast out a new Play, with the old linings of jests, stolen from the Temples Revels. To him old Tango. Moreover, you shall not sit in a Gallery, when your Comedies and Interludes have entered their Actions, and there make vile and bad faces at every line, to make Sentlemen have an eye to you, and to make Players afraid to take your part. Thou shalt be my Ningle for this. Besides you must for swear to venture on the stage, when your Play is ended, and to exchange courtesies, and compliments with Gallants in the lords rooms, to make all the house rise up in Arms, and to cry that's Horace, that's he, that's he, that's he, that pens and purges Humours and diseases. There boy, again. Secondly, when you bid all your friends to the marriage of a poor couple, that is to say: your Wits and necessities, alias dictus, to the rifling of your Muse: alias, your muse's upsitting: alias a poet's Whitson-Ale; you shall swear that within three days after, you shall not abroad, in bookbinder's shops, brag that your viceroys or tributory-kings, have done homage to you, or paid quarterage. I'll buss thy head Holofernes. Moreover and Inprimis, when a Knight or Sentlemen of vrship, does give you his passport, to travail in and out to his Company, and gives you money for God's sake; I trust in Sesu, you will swear (tooth and nail) not to make sealed and wry-mouth jests upon his Knighthood, will you not? I never did it by Parnassus. wilt swear by Parnassus and lie too, Doctor Dodipoll? Thirdly, and last of all saving one, when your Plays are misliked at Court, you shall not cry Mew like a puss-cat, and say you are glad you write out of the courtier's Element. Let the Element alone, 'tis out a thy reach. In briefliness, when you Sup in Taverns, amongst your betters, you shall swear not to dip your Manners in too much sauce, nor at Table to fling Epigrams, Emblems, or Play-speeches about you (like Hailstones) to keep you out of the terrible danger of the Shot, upon pain to fit at the upper end of the Table, a'th' left hand of Carlo Buffon: swear all this, by Apollo and the eight or nine Muses. By Apollo, Helicon, the Muses (who march three and three in a rank) and by all that belongs to Parnassus, I swear all this. Bear witness. That fearful wreath, this honour is your due, All Poets shall be Poet-Apes but you; Thanks (learning's true Maecenas, Poesy's king) Thanks for that gracious ear, which you have lent, To this most tedious, most rude argument.
seed 43: T16 · seed 44: T15 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Tis not your sting of conscience, is it? Vpon him: Inpriis. Inprimis, you shall sweare by Phoebus and the halfe sre Mses lacking one▪ not to sweare to hang your selfe, if you thought any Man, Ooman or Silde, could write Playes and , as well-fauo'd ones as your selfe. Well, sayd, hast brought him toth gallowes already? You shall sweare not to bumbast out a new Play, with the olde lynings of Iestes, stolne from the Temples Reuels. To him olde Tango. Moreouer▪ you shall not sit in a Gallery, when your Comedies and Enterludes haue entred their Actions, and there make vile and bad faces at euerie lyne, to make Sentlemen haue an eye to you, and to make Players afraide to take your part. Thou shalt be my Ningle for this. Besides you must for sweare to venter on the stage, when your Play is ended, and to exchange curtezies, and complements with Gallants in the Lordes roomes, to make all the house rise vp in Armes, and to cry that's Horace, that's he, that's he, that's he, that pennes and purges Humours and diseases. There boy, agen. Secondly, when you bid all your friends to the marriage of a poore couple, that is to say: your Wits and necessities, alias dictus, to the rifling of your Muse: alias, your Muses vp-sitting: alias a Poets Whitson-Ale; you shall sweare that within three dayes after, you shall not abroad, in Booke-binders shops, brag that your Vize-royes or Tributorie-Kings, haue done homage to you, or paide quarterage. Ile bussethy head Holofernes. Moeouer and Inpriis, when a Knight or Sentlemen of vrship, does giue you his passe-pt, to trauaile in and out to his Company, and giues you money for Gods sake; I trust in Sesu, you will sweare (tooth and nayle) not to make sealde and wry-mouth Iestes vpon his Knight-hood, will you not? I neuer did it by Parnassus. Wut sweare by Parnassus and lyetoo, Doctor Doddipol? Thirdly, and last of all sauing one, when your Playes are misse-likt at Court, you shall not crye Mew like a Pusse-cat, and say you are glad you write out of the Courtiers Element. Let the Element alone, tis out a thy reach. In brieflynes, when you Sup in Taueres, amongst your betters, you shall sweare not to dippe your Manners in too much sawce, nor at Table to fling Epigrams, Embleames, or Play-speeches about you (lyke Hayle-stones) to keepe you out of the terrible daunger of the Shot, vpon payne to fit at the vpper ende of the Table, a'th left hand of Carlo Buffon: sweare all this, by Apollo and the eight or nine Muses. By Apollo, Helicon, the Muses (who march three and three in a rancke) and by all that belongs to Pernassus, I sweare all this. Beare witnes. That fearefull wreath, this honour is your du, All Poets shall be Poet-Apes but you; Thankes (Learnings true Mecoenas, Poesies king) Thankes for that gracious are, which you haue lent, To this most tedious, most rude argument.