Marston, John / Webster, John · published 1604 · first performed or written 1604 [1602-1604] (Annals) tragicomedy · Children of the Chapel (second) T0 Court life: dukes, favour and honour typicality 0.80 · 511 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T0: duke, lord, duchess, love, court, madam, prince, honour, grace, lady.
It is too well, my bosom, and my heart, When nothing helps, cut off the rotten part. Who cannot feign friendship, can near produce the effects of hatred: Honest fool Duke, subtle lascivious Duchess, silly novice Ferneze; I do laugh at ye, my brain is in labour till it produce mischief, and I feel sudden throws, proofs sensible, the issue is at hand. As bears shape young, so I'll form my device, Which grown proves horrid: vengeance makes men wise. Fool, most happily encountered, canst sing fool? Yes I can sing fool, if you'll bear the burden, and I can play upon instruments, scurvily. as gentlemen do; O that I had been gelded, I should then have been a fat fool for a chamber, a squeaking fool for a tavern, and a private fool for all the Ladies. You are in good case since you came to court fool; what guarded, guarded! Yes faith, even as footmen and bawds wear velvet, not for an ornament of Honour, but for a badge of drudgery: for now the Duke is discontented I am feign to fool him asleep every night. What are his griefs? He hath sore eyes. I never observed so much. Horrible sore eyes; and so hath every Cuckold, for the roots of the horns spring in the eyeballs, and that's the reason the horn of a cuckold is as tender as his eye; or as that growing in the woman's forehead twelve years since, that could not endure to be touched. The Duke hangs down his head like a columbine. Passarello, why do great men beg fools? As the Welshman stole rushes, when there was nothing else to filch; only to keep begging in fashion. Pew, thou givest no good reason, Thou speakest like a fool. Faith I utter small fragments as your knight courts your City 〈◊〉 with jingling of his guilt spurs, advancing his bush coloured beard, and taking Tobacco. This is all the mirror of their knightly compliments: Nay I shall talk when my tongue is a going once; 'tis like a Citizen on horseback, evermore in a false gallop. And how doth Maquerelle far nowadays? Faith I was wont to salute her as our English women are at their first landing in Flushing; I would call her whore; but now that antiquity leaves her as an old piece of plasticke t'work by, I only ask her how her rotten teeth fare every morning, and so leave her: she was the first that ever invented perfumed smocks for the gentlewomen, and woollen shoes for fear of creaking: for the visitant, she were an excellent Lady, but that her face peeleth like Muscouie glass. And how doth thy old Lord that hath wit enough to be a flatterer, and conscience enough to be a knave? O excellent, he keeps beside me fifteen jeasters, to instruct him in the Art of fooling, and viters their jeastes in private to the Duke and Duchess; he'll lie like to your Swisser, or Lawyer; he'll be of any side for most money.
Other edition — placed after the fit, excluded from the main statistics
Position
nodes 386–407 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 11 of 38 in this edition
Length
511 words · 675 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T0 — Court life: dukes, favour and honourcross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.804 (cosine to the topic centroid) · placed after the fit (approximate_predict), not counted in the topic statistics
Other seeds
seed 43: T0 · seed 44: T0 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
It is too well, my bozome, and my heart, "When nothing helpes, cut off the rotten part. "Who cannot faine friendship, can nere produce the effects of hatred: Honest foole Duke, subtile lasciuious Dutches, seely nouice Ferneze; I do laugh at yee, my braine is in labour till it produce mischiefe, and I feele sudden throws, proofes sensible, the issue is at hand. "As Beares shape yong, so Ile forme my deuise, "Which growne prooues horride: vengeance makes men wise. Foole, most happily incountred, canst sing foole? Yes I can sing foole, if youle beare the burden, and I can play vpon instruments, scuruily. as gentlemen do; O that I had beene gelded, I should then haue beene a fatte foole for a chamber, a squeaking foole for a taverne, and a priuate foole for all the Ladies. You are in good case since you came to court foole; what garded, garded! Yes faith, euen as footemen and bawdes weare veluet, not or an ornament of Honour, but for a badge of drudgery: for now the Duke is discontented I am faine to foole him asleepe euery night. What are his griefes? He hath sore eies. I neuer observed so much. Horrible sore eyes; and so hath euery Cuckold, for the rootes of the hornes spring in the eye-balles, and thats the reason the horne of a cuckolde is as tender as his eie; or as that growing in the womans forehead twelue yeeres since, that could not endure to be toucht. The Duke hangs downe his head like a columbine. Passarell, why doe great men begge fooles? As the Welchman stole rushes, when there was nothing else to filch; onely to keepe begging in fashion. Pue, thou giuest no good reason, Thou speakest like a foole. Faith I vtter small fragments as your knight courtes your City with jingling of his guilt spurres, aduauncing his bush colored beard, and taking Tabacco. This is all the mirrour of their knightly complements: Nay I shall talke when my toong is a going once; tis like a Citizen on horsebacke, euermore in a false gallop. And how dooth Maquerelle fare nowadayes? Faith I was wont to salute her as our English women are at their first landing in Flushing; I would call her whoore; but now that antiquitie leaues her as an old peece of plasticke t'work by, I onely aske hir how her rotten teeth fare euery morning, and so leaue her: she was the first that euer inuented perfumd smocks for the gentlewomen, and woollen shooes for feare of creaking: for the visitant, she were an excellent Lady, but that hir face peeleth like Muscouie glasse. And how dooth thy olde Lord that hath wit enough to be a flatterer, and conscience enough to be a knaue? O excellent, he keepes beside me fifteene jeasters, to instruct him in the Art of fooling, and viters their jeastes in priuate to the Duke and Dutchesse; heele lie like to your Switzer, or Lawyer; heele be of any side for most mony.