1 The Honest Whore (1 The Converted Courtesan) (The Patient Man and the Honest Whore) · chunk 5 of 48
Dekker, Thomas / Middleton, Thomas · published 1604 · first performed or written 1604 (Annals) comedy · Prince Henry's Men T11 Siblings, kin and confidants typicality 0.83 · 482 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T11: sister, brother, love, friend, heart, father, mother, woman, lord, hear.
'Slid, would he had been at sea with us, he should ha' been moved and moved again, for I'll be sworn la, our drunken ship reeled like a Dutchman. No loss of goods can increase in him a wrinkle, no crabbed language make his countenance sour, the stubbornness of no servant shake him, he has no more gall in him than a Dove, no more sting than an Ant: Musitian will he never be, (yet I find much music in him,) but he loves no frets, and is so free from anger, that many times I am ready to bite off my tongue, because it wants that virtue which all women's tongues have (to anger their husbands:) Brother, mine can by no thunder: turn him into a sharpness. Belike his blood sister, is well brewed then. I protest to thee Fustigo, I love him most affectionately, but I know not— I ha' such a tickling within me— such a strange longing; nay, verily I do long. Then you're with child sister, by all signs and tokens; nay, I am partly a Physician, and partly something else. I ha' read Albertus Magnus, and Aristotle's emblems. You're wide ath bow hand still brother: my longings are not wanton, but wayward: I long to have my patient husband eat up a whole Porcupine, to the intent, the bristling quills may stick about his lips like a flemish, mustacho, and be shot at me: I shall be leaner than the new Moon, unless I can make him borne mad. 'sfoot half a quarter of an hour does that: make him a cuckold. Puh, he would count such a cut no unkindness. The honester Citizen he, then make him drunk and cut off his beard. Fie, fie, idle, idle, he's no Frenchman, to fret at the loss of a little scald hair. No brother, thus it shall be, you must be secret. As your Midwife I protest sister, or a Barber-surgeon. Repair to the tortoise here in S. Christopher's street, I will send you money, turn yourself into a brave man: instead of the arms of your mistress, let your sword and your military scarf hang about your neck. I must have a great Horseman's French feather too sister. O, by any means, to show your light head, else your hat will sit like a coxcomb: to be brief, you must be in all points a most terrible wide-mouthed swaggerer. Nay, for swaggering points let me alone. Resort then to our shop, and (in my husband's presence) kiss me, snatch rings, jewels, or any things so you give it back again brother in secret. By this hand sister. Swear as if you came but new from knighting. Nay, I'll swear after 400. a year. Swagger worse than a Lieutenant among freshwater soldiers, call me your love, your ingle, your cousin, or so; but sister at no hand.
nodes 152–171 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 5 of 48 in this edition
Length
482 words · 651 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T11 — Siblings, kin and confidantscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.828 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T15 · seed 44: T12 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Slid, would he had beene at sea with vs, hee should ha beene movde and movde agen, for Ile be sworne la, our drunken ship reelde like a Dutchman. No losse of goods can increase in him a wrinckle, no crabbed language make his countenance sowre, the stubburnnes of no servant shake him, he haz no more gall in him than a Dove, no more sting than an Ant: Musitian will he never bee, (yet I finde much musicke in him,) but he loves no frets, and is so free from anger, that many times I am ready to bite off my tongue, because it wants that vertue which all womens tongues have (to anger their husbands:) Brother, mine can by no thunder: turne him into a sharpenes. Belike his blood sister, is well brewd then. I protest to thee Fustigo, I love him most affectionately, but I know not — I ha such a tickling within mee — such a strange longing; nay, verily I doo long. Then y'are with childe sister, by all signes and tokens; nay, I am partly a Phisitian, and partly something else. I ha read Albertus Magnus, and Aristotles emblemes. Y'are wide ath bow hand still brother: my longings are not wanton, but wayward: I long to have my patient husband eate vp a whole Porcupine, to the intent, the bristling quills may sticke about his lippes like a flemmish, mustacho, and be shot at me: I shall be leaner than the new Moone, vnlesse I can make him borne mad. Sfoote halfe a quarter of an houre does that: make him a cuckold. Puh, he would count such a cut no vnkindenes. The honester Cittizen he, then make him drunke and cut off his beard. Fie, fie, idle, idle, hee's no French-man, to fret at the losse of a little scalde haire. No brother, thus it shall be, you must be secret. As your Mid-wife I protest sister, or a Barber-surgeon. Repaire to the Tortoys heere in S. Christophers streete, I will send you mony, turne your selfe into a brave man: insteed of the armes of your mistris, let your sword and your militarie scarfe hang about your necke. I must have a great Horse-mans French feather too sister. O, by any meanes, to shew your light head, else your hat will sit like a coxcombe: to be briefe, you must bee in all points a most terrible wide-mouth'd swaggerer. Nay, for swaggering points let me alone. Resort then to our shop, and (in my husbands presence) kisse me, snatch rings, jewells, or any things so you give it backe agen brother in secret. By this hand sister. Sweare as if you came but new from knighting. Nay, Ile sweare after 400. a yeare. Swagger worse then a Lievetenant among fresh-water souldiers, call me your love, your yngle, your coosen, or so; but sister at no hand.