1 The Honest Whore (1 The Converted Courtesan) (The Patient Man and the Honest Whore) · chunk 25 of 48
Dekker, Thomas / Middleton, Thomas · published 1604 · first performed or written 1604 (Annals) comedy · Prince Henry's Men unassigned nearest T49 Wooing a mistress: suitors, go-betweens · 509 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T49: mistress, gentleman, love, lady, woman, pray, gentlewoman, hear, honest, way.
O Roger, Roger, where's your mistress, where's your mistress? there's the finest, neatest Gentleman at my house, but newly come over: O where is she, where is she, where is she? My mistress is abroad, but not amongst 'em: my mistress is not the whore now that you take her for. How? is she not a whore? do you go about to take away her good name, Roger? you are a fine Pandar indeed. I tell you, Madonna Finger-lock, I am not sad for nothing, I ha' not eaten one good meal this three & thirty days: I had wont to get sixteen pence by fetching a pottle of hippocras: but now those days are past: we had as good doings, Madonna Finger-lock, she within doors and I without, as any poor young couple in Milan. God's my life, and is she changed now? I ha' lost by her squeamishness, more than would have builded 12. bawdy houses. And had she no time to turn honest but now? what a vile woman is this? twenty pound a night, I'll be sworn, Roger, in good gold and no silver: why here was a time, if she should ha' picked out a time, it could not be better! gold enough stirring; choice of men, choice of hair, choice of beards, choice of legs, and choice of every, every, every thing: it cannot sink into my head, that she should be such an Ass. Roger, I never believe it. Here she comes now. O sweet Madonna, on with your loose gown, your felt & your feather, there's the sweetest, properest, gallantest Gentleman at my house, he smells all of Musk & Amber grease, his pocket full of Crowns, flame-coloured doublet, red satin hose, Carnation silk stockings, and a leg and a body, oh! Hence, thou our sex's monster, poisonous Bawd, lust's Factor, and damnation's Orator, Gossip of hell, were all the harlot's sins Which the whole world contains, numbered together, Thine far exceeds them all; of all the creatures That ever were created, thou art basest: What serpent would beguile thee of thy Office? It is detestable: for thou liv'st Upon the dregs of Harlots, guard'st the door, Whilst couples go to dancing: O course devil! Thou art the Bastard's curse, thou brand'st his birth, The lechers French disease; for thou dry-suck'st him: The harlot's poison, and thine own confusion. Mary come up with a pox, have you nobody to rail against, but your Bawd now? And you, Knave Pandar, kinsman to a Bawd. You and I Madonna, are cousins. Of the same blood and making, near allied, Thou, that slave to sixpence, base-metaled villain. Sixpence? nay that's not so; I never took under two shillings four pence, I hope I know my fee. I know not against which most to inveigh: For both of you are damned so equally. Thou never sparest for oaths: swearest any thing, As if thy soul were made of shoe-leather. God dam me, Gentleman, if she be within, When in the next room she's found dallying.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
O Roger, Roger, where's your mistris, wher's your mistris? there's the finest, neatest Gentleman at my house, but newly come ouer: O where is she, where is she, where is she? My mistris is abroad, but not amongst em: my mistris is not the whore now that you take her for. How? is she not a whore? do you go about to take away her good name, Roger? you are a fine Pandar indeed. I tell you▪ Madona Finger-locke, I am not sad for nothing, I ha not eaten one good meale this three & thirty dayes: I had wont to get sixteene pence by fetching a pottle of Hypocras: but now those dayes are past: we had as good doings, Madona Finger-locke, she within dores and I without, as any poore yong couple in Millain. Gods my life, and is she chang'd now? I ha lost by her squeamishnesse, more then would haue builded 12. bawdy houses. And had she no time to turn honest but now? what a vile woman is this? twenty pound a night, Ile be sworne, Roger, in good gold and no siluer: why here was a time, if she should ha pickt out a time, it could not be better! gold ynough stirring; choyce of men, choyce of haire, choyce of beards, choyce of legs, and choyce of euery, euery, euery thing: it cannot sink into my head, that she should be such an Asse. Roger, I neuer beleeue it. Here she comes now. O sweet Madona, on with your loose gowne, your felt & your feather, there's the sweetest, proprest, gallantest Gentleman at my house, he smells all of Muske & Amber greece, his pocket full of Crownes, flame-colourd dublet, red satin hose, Carnation silk stockins, and a leg and a body, oh! Hence, thou our sexes monster, poysonous Bawd, Lusts Factor, and damnations Orator, Gossip of hell, were all the Harlots sinnes Which the whole world conteynes, numbred together, Thine farre exceeds them all; of all the creatures That euer were created, thou art basest: What serpent would beguile thee of thy Office? It is detestable: for thou liu'st Vpon the dregs of Harlots, guard'st the dore, Whilst couples goe to dauncing: O course deuill! Thou art the bastards curse, thou brandst his birth, The lechers French disease; for thou dry-suckst him: The Harlots poyson, and thine owne confusion. Mary come vp with a pox, haue you no body to raile against, but your Bawd now? And you, Knaue Pandar, kinsman to a Bawd. You and I Madona, are Cozens. Of the same bloud and making, neere allyed, Thou, that slaue to sixpence, base-mettald villayne. Sixpence? nay that's not so; I neuer took vnder two shillings foure pence, I hope I know my fee. I know not against which most to inueigh: For both of you are damnd so equally. Thou neuer spar'st for oathes: swearst any thing, As if thy soule were made of shoe-leather. God dam me, Gentleman, if she be within, When in the next roome she's found dallying.