Chapman, George · published 1605 · first performed or written 1601 (Annals) comedy · Children of the Queen's Revels · before the Court unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 523 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
But if our own imperfections will not teach us to bear with theirs; yet let their virtues persuade us: let us endure their bad qualities for their good; allow the prickle for the Rose; the brack for the Velvet; the paring for the cheese, and so forth: if you say they range abroad, consider it is nothing but to avoid idleness at home: their nature is still to be doing: keep 'em a doing at home; let them practise one good quality or other, either sowing, singing, playing, chiding, dancing or so, & these will put such idle toys out of their heads into yours: but if you cannot find them variety of business within doors, yet at least imitate the ancient wise Citizens of this City, who used carefully to provide their wives gardens near the town, to plant, to graft in, as occasion served, only to keep 'em from idleness. Everlasting good boy. I perceive your knavery, sir, and will yet have patience. Forth, my brave Curio. As to her unquietness (which some have rudely termed shrewishness) though the fault be in her, yet the cause is in you. What so calm as the sea of it own nature? Art was never able to equal it: your dicing tables, nor your bowling alleys are not comparable to it; yet if a blast of wind do but cross it, not so turbulent & violent an element in the world: So (nature in lieu of women's scarcity of wit, having endued them with a large portion of will) if they may (without impeach) enjoy their wills, no quieter creatures under heaven: but if the breath of their husband's mouths once cross their wills, nothing more tempestuous. Why than, sir, should you husbands cross your wives wills thus, considering the law allows them no wills at all at their deaths, because it intended they should have their wills while they lived? Answer him but that, Cornelio. All shall not serve her turn, I am thinking of other matters. Thou hast half won him, Wag; ply him yet a little further. Now (sir) for these Cuckooish songs of yours, of Cuckolds, horns, grafting, and such like; what are they, but mere imaginary toys, bred out of your own heads, as your own, and so by tradition delivered from man to man, like Scarecrows, to terrify fools from this earthly paradise of wedlock, coined at first by some spent Poets, superannuated Bachelors, or some that were scarce men of their hands; who, like the Fox, having lost his tail, would persuade others to lose theirs for company? Again, for your Cuckold, what is it but a mere fiction? show me any such creature in nature; if there be, I could never see it, neither could I ever find any sensible difference betwixt a Cuckold and a Christen creature. To conclude, let Poets coin, or fools credit what they list; for mine own part, I am clear of this opinion, that your Cuckold is a mere Chymera, and that there are no Cuckolds in the world, but those that have wives: and so I will leave them.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
But if our owne imperfections will not teach vs to beare with theirs; yet let their vertues perswade vs: let vs indure their bad qualities for their good; allow the prickle for the Rose; the bracke for the Veluet; the paring for the cheese, and so forth: if you say they range abroad, consider it is nothing but to auoyd idlenesse at home: their nature is still to be doing: keepe vm a doing at home; let them practise one good quality or other, either sowing, singing, playing, chiding, dauncing or so, & these will put such idle toyes out of their heads into yours: but if you cannot find them variety of businesse within dores, yet at least imitate the ancient wise Citizens of this City, who vsed carefully to prouide their wiues gardens neere the towne, to plant, to graft in, as occasion serued, onely to keepe vm from idlenesse. Euerlasting good boy. I your knauery, sir, and will yet haue patience. Forth, my braue Curio. As to her vnquietnesse (which some haue rudely tearm'd shrewishnesse) though the fault be in her, yet the cause is in you. What so cale as the sea of it own nature? Arte was neuer able to equall it: your dycing tables, nor your bowling alleys are not comparable to it; yet if a blast of wind do but crosse it, not so turbulent & violent an element in the world: So (nature in lieu of womens scarcity of wit, hauing indued them with a large portion of will) if they may (without impeach) inioy their willes, no quieter creatures vnder heauen: but if the breath of their husbāds mouthes once crosse their wils, nothing more tempestuous. Why thē, sir, should you husbands crosse your wiues wils thus, considering the law alowes thē no wils at all at their deaths, because it intended they should haue their willes while they liued? Answere him but that, Cornelio. All shall not serue her turne, I am thinking of other matters. Thou hast halfe wonne him, Wag; ply him yet a little further. Now (sr) for these Cuckooish songs of yours, of Cuckolds, hornes, grafting, and such like; what are they, but meere imaginary toyes, bred out of your owne heads, as your owne, and so by tradition deliuered from man to man, like Scar-crowes, to terrify fooles from this earthly paradice of wedlock, coyn▪d at first by some spent Poets, superannated Bachelers, or some that were scarce men of their hands; who, like the Foxe, hauing lost his taile, would perswade others to lose theirs for company? Agayne, for your Cuckold, what is it but a meere fiction? shew me any such creature in nature; if there be, I could neuer see it, neyther could I euer find any sensible difference betwixt a Cuckold and a Christen creature. To conclude, let Poets coyne, or fooles credit what they list; for mine owne part, I am cleere of this opinion, that your Cuckold is a meere Chymra, and that there are no Cuckoldes in the world, but those that haue wiues: and so I will leaue them.