Anonymous · published 1606 · first performed or written 1602 [1601-1602] (Annals) comedy · Unknown unassigned nearest T52 Prodigals, portions and poor kin · 520 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T52: brother, father, uncle, cousin, son, poor, bread, old, given, master.
Tush, what care I for that? so he have lands and living enough, my daughter has bringing up will serve them both. Now I would have you to write me a Letter to goodman Ploddall concerning this matter, and I'll please you for your pains. I'll warrant you sir, I'll do it artificially. Do, good M. Churms, but be very secret, I have some business this morning, and therefore I'll leave you a while, and if you will come to dinner to me anon, you shall be very heartily welcome. Thanks good sir I'll trouble you. Now 'twere a good jest if I could cozen the old Churl of his daughter, and get the wench for myself. Sounds I am as proper a man, as Peter Ploddall: and though his father be as good a man as mine, yet far fetched and dear bought is good for Ladies, and I am sure I have been as far as Cales to fetch that I have. I have been at Cambridge a Scholar, at Cales a Soldier, and now in the Country a Lawyer, and the next degree shall be a Connicatcher: For I'll go near to cozen old father share-penny of his daughter! I'll cast about I'll warrant him; I'll go dine with him, and write him his Letter, And then I'll go seek out my kind companion Robin Goodfellow, and betwixt us we'll make her yield to any thing. we'll ha' the common law oath to hand, and the civil law o'th' other: we'll toss Lelia like a tennis ball. Ah Tenant, an ill husband (by’r lady): thrice at thy house and never at home? You know my mind, will you give ten shillings more rent? I must discharge you else. Alas Landlord, will you undo me? I sit of a great rent already, and am very poor. Very poor? you're a very Ass. Lord how my stomach wambles at that same word (very poor)! Father, if you love your son William, never name that same word very poor: For I'll stand to it, that its petty-larcency to name very poor to a man that's oath top of his marriage. Why son, art o'th' top of thy marriage, to whom I prithee? Marry to pretty Peg, mistress Lelia's nurses daughter. O 'tis the dapp'rest wench that ever danced after a Taber and pipe. For she will so heel it, and toe it, and trip it, O her buttocks will quake like a custard. Why William, when were you with her? O Peter does your mouth water at that? Truly I was never with her, but I know I shall speed. For other day she looked on me and laughed, and that's a good sign (ye know): and therefore old silver top, never talk of charging or discharging. For I tell you I am my father's heir: and if you discharge me, I'll discharge my pestilence at you. For to let my house before my lease be out, is cut-throatery: and to scrape for more rent is polepennery. And so fare you well good Grandsire Usury: come father let's be gone.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
what care I for that? ſo he haue lands and liuing inough, my daughter has bringing vp will ſerue them both. Now I would haue you to write me a Letter to goodman Ploddall concerning this matter, and Ile pleaſe you for your paines. Ile warrant you ſir, Ile doe it artificially. Doe, good M. Churms, but be very ſecret, I haue ſome buſineſſe this morning, and therefore Ile leaue you a while, and if you will come to dinner to mee anone, you ſhall be very heartily welcome. Thankes good ſir Ile trouble you. Now twere a good ieſt if I could coſen the olde Churle of his daughter, and get the wench for my ſelfe. Sounds I am as proper a man, as Peter Ploddall: and though his father bee as good a man as mine, yet farre fetcht and deare bought is good for Ladies, and I am ſure I haue been as farre as Cales to fetch that I haue. I haue beene at Cambridge a Scholler, at Cales a Souldier, and now in the Country a Lawyer, and the next degree ſhal be a Connicatcher: For Ile goe neere to coſen olde father ſhare-penny of his daughter▪ Ile caſt about Ile warrant him; Ile go dine with him, and write him his Letter, And then Ile go ſeek out my kind companion Robin Goodfellow, and betwixt vs weele make hir yeeld to any thing. Weele ha the common law oth to hand, and the ciuilllawe oth tother: Weele toſſe Lelia like a tennis ball. Ah Tenant, an ill husband (barlady): thriſe at thy houſe and neuer at home? You know my minde, will you giue tenne ſhillings more rent? I muſt diſcharge you elſe. Alas Landlord, will you vndoe me? I it of a great rent alreadie, and am very poore. Very poore? yare a very Aſſe. Lord how my ſtomach wambles at that ſame word (very poore)! Father, if you loue your ſonne William, neuer name that ſame word very poore: For Ile ſtand to it, that its pettilaſſeny to name very poore to a man thats oth top of his marriage. Why ſon, art oth top of thy marriage, to whom I prithee? Marrie to prittie Peg, miſtreſſe Lelias nurſes daughter. O tis the dapreſt wench that euer danc't after a Taberand pipe. For ſhee will ſo heele it, and toe it, and trip it, O hir buttockes will quake like a cuſtard. Why William, when were you with hir? O Peter does your mouth water at that? Truly I was neuer with hir, but I know I ſhall ſpeed. For tother day ſhe lookt on me and laught, and thats a good ſigne (ye know): and therefore old ſiluer top, neuer talke of charging or diſcharging. For I tell you I am my fathers heire: and if you diſcharge me, Ile diſcharge my peſtilence at you. For to let my houſe before my leaſe be out, is cut-throatery: and to ſcrape for more rent is polepennery. And ſo fare you well good Grandſire Vſury: come father lets be gone.