Day, John · published 1633 · first performed or written 1606 (Annals) comedy · Children of the Queen's Revels · Blackfriars T9 Theatre talk: prologues, poets and playe typicality 0.86 · 510 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T9: play, stage, poet, prologue, author, wit, plays, muse, scene, players.
All that's nothing to me, and there be not Wormwood water and Copperes in't, I'll not like it, should Apollo write it, and Rosius himself act it. Fie upon thee, thou art too too critical: is there any good bawdry in't, jests of an ell deep, and a fathom broad, good cuckolding, may a couple of young-setters-up learn to do well in't? Give me a Scene of venery, that will make a man's spirits stand on their tiptoes, and die his blood in a deep scarlet, like your Ovid's Ars Amandi, there flows the true Springhead of Poetry, and the very Crystal fount of Parnassus. chaste ears would never endure it fir. chaste ears? now deafness light upon them, what should chaste ears do at a play? 'tis strange now, I am of neither a both your opinions, I like neither railing nor bawdry: no, give me a stately penned history, as thus: The rugged winds, with rude and ragged ruffs, etc. Fie upon't, more fustian; I had rather hear two good bawdy jests, than a whole play of such teare-cat thunderclaps. Alas Gentlemen, bow ist possible to content you? you will have railing, and invectives, which our Author neither dares, nor affects: you bawdy and scurrile jests, which neither becomes his modesty to write, nor the ear of a generous Auditory to hear: you must have swelling comparisons, and bombast Epithets, which are as fit for the body of a Comedy▪ as Hercules shoe for the foot of a pygmy: yet all these we must have, and all in one play, or 'tis already condemned to the hell of eternal disgrace. Look to't, if there be not gall in't, it shall not pass. If it be not bawdy, 'tis impossible to pass: If it be both critical and bawdy, if it be not high written, both your Poet and the house too, lose a friend of me. Nay I beseech you sir, if you be his friend, stand so to him still, for he hath too many enemies already, in whose judgements, he and his labours stand excommunicate, as though unworthy to present themselves in this assembly. Enemies? nays foot than there's some hope in his play, for Envy never works but against desert and merit. If he be envied there's some worth in him, and i'll see out his play for that only. Faith and I'll see an act or two out, but I tell you aforehand I cannot see it out. Not see it out? your reason. Fore God I lay in bed till past three a clock, slept out my dinner, and my stomach will toll to supper afore five, therefore you must pardon me. Either see it all or none; for 'tis grown into a custom at plays, if any one rise (especially of any fashionable sort) about what serious business soever, the rest thinking it in dislike of the play, though he never thinks it, cry mew, by Iesus vild; and leave the poor heartless children to speak their Epilogue to the empty seats.
Other edition — placed after the fit, excluded from the main statistics
Position
nodes 21–36 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 2 of 43 in this edition
Length
510 words · 705 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T9 — Theatre talk: prologues, poets and playerscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.859 (cosine to the topic centroid) · placed after the fit (approximate_predict), not counted in the topic statistics
Other seeds
seed 43: T16 · seed 44: T15 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
All that's nothing to mee, and there bee not Worme-wood water and Copperes in't, Ile not like it, ſhould Apollo write it, and Roſius himſelfe act it. Fie upon thee, thou art too too criticall: is there any good baudry in't, jeſts of an ell deepe, and a fathome broad, good cuckolding, may a couple of young-ſetters-up learne to doe well in't? Giue me a Scene of venery, that will make a mans ſpirits ſtand on their tiptoes, and die his blood in a deepe ſcarlet, like your Ovids Ars Amandi, there flowes the true Spring-head of Poetry, and the very Chriſtall fount of Parnaſſus. Chaſt eares would never endure it fir. Chaſt eares? now deafeneſſe light upon them, what ſhould chaſt eares doe at a play? Tis ſtrange now, I am of neither a both your opinions, I like neither rayling nor baudry: no, giue me a ſtately pend hiſtorie, as thus: The rugged winds, with rude and ragged ruffes, &c. Fie upon't, more fuſtian; I had rather heare two good baudy jeſts, then a whole play of ſuch teare-cat thunder-claps. Alas Gentlemen, bow iſt poſſible to content you? you wil haue rayling, and invectiues, which our Author neither dares, nor affects: you baudy and ſcurrill jeſts, which neither becomes his modeſty to write, nor the eare of a generous Auditory to heare: you muſt haue ſwelling compariſons, and umaſt Epithites, which are as fit for the body of a Comedy▪ as Herles ſhooe for the foote of a Pigmey: yet all theſe we muſt haue, and all in one play, or tis already condemn'd to the hell of eternall diſgrace. Looke to't, if there be not gall in't, it ſhall not paſſe. If it be not baudy, tis impoſſible to paſſe: If it bee both criticall and baudy, if it bee not high written, both your Poet and the houſe too, looſe a friend of me. Nay I beſeech you ſir, if you be his friend, ſtand ſo to him ſtill, for he hath too many enemies already, in whoſe judgements, he and his labours ſtand excommunicate, as though unworthy to preſent themſelues in this aſſembly. Enemies? nays foote then there's ſome hope in his play, for Envie never workes but againſt deſert and merit. If he be envied theres ſome worth in him, and ile ſee out his play for that onely. Faith and Ile ſee an act or two out, but I tell you afore-hand I cannot ſee it out. Not ſee it out? your reaſon. Fore God I lay in bed till paſt three a clock, ſlept out my dinner, and my ſtomacke will toule to ſupper afore fiue, therefore you muſt pardon me. Either ſee it all or none; for tis growen into a cuſtome at playes, if any one riſe (eſpecially of any faſhionable ſort) about what ſerious buſines ſoever, the reſt thinking it in diſlike of the play, though he never thinks it, cry mew, by eſus vilde; and leaue the poore heartleſſe children to ſpeake their Epilogue to the empty ſeats.