Middleton, Thomas · published 1607 · first performed or written 1604 [1603-1604] (Annals) comedy · Children of Paul's (second) · before the Court T8 Captains, gallants and cheats typicality 0.81 · 484 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T8: captain, master, money, gentleman, little, lieutenant, rogue, pray, minos, honest.
And among those Women fewer Drabs— And among those Drabs fewer pleasing— Then t'had been something: But when there are more women, more common pretty sweet hearts, then ever any age could boast off. And I to play the Artificer and marry: to have my wife dance at home, and my Ship at Sea, and both take in salt water together: oh Lieutenant thou'rt happy, thou keep'st a Wench. I hope I am happier than so Captain, for a my Troth she keeps me. How? is there any such fortunate man breathing? and I so miserable to live honest? I envy thee Lieutenant, I envy thee, that thou art such a happy Knave, here's my hand among you, share it equally, I'll to sea with you. There spoke a Noble Captain. Let's hear from you, there will be news shortly. Doubt it not Captain. What lustful passion came aboard of me, that I should marry, was I drunk? yet that cannot altogether hold, for it was four o'clock i'th' morning, had it been five, I would ha' sworn it: that a man is in danger every minute to be cast away, without he have an extraordinary Pilot that can perform more than a man can do: and to say truth too, when I'm abroad what can I do at home? no man living can reach so far: & what a horrible thing 'twould be to have horns brought me at Sea, to look as if the Devil were i'th' ship: and all the great Tempests would be thought of my Raising, to be the general curse of all Merchants: and yet they likely are as deep in as myself, and that's a comfort: O that a Captain should live to be married! nay, I that have been such a Gallant salt-thief, should yet live to be married: What a fortunate Elder Brother is he, whose father being a Ramish Ploughman, himself a perfumed Gentleman, spending the labouring reek from his Fathers: Nostrils in Tobacco: the sweat of his Father's body in monthly Physic for his pretty queasy Harlot: he sows apace i'th' Country: the tailor o'ertakes him i'th' City, so that often times before the Corn comes to Earning, 'tis up to the ears in high Collars, and so at every harvest the Reapers take pains for the Mercers, ha! why this is stirring happiness indeed, would my father had held a plow so, and fed upon squeezed Curds and Onions, that I might have bathed insensuality: but he was too ruttish himself to let me thrive under him, consumed me before he got me, & that makes me so wretched, now to be shackled with a wife, & not greatly rich neither. Captain, my Husband. S'life call me husband again, & i'll play the Captain and beat you. What has disturbed you sir, that you now look so like an Enemy upon me?
nodes 168–181 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 4 of 40 in this edition
Length
484 words · 642 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T8 — Captains, gallants and cheatscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.807 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T11 · seed 44: T14 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
And among thoſe Women fewer Drabs— And among thoſe Drabs fewer pleaſing— Then t'ad beene ſomething: But when there are more women, more common pretty ſweete hearts, then euer any age could boaſt off. And I to play the Artificer and marrie: to haue my wife daunce at home, and my Ship at Sea, and both take in ſalt water together: oh Leiftenant thou'rt happie, thou keepſt a Wench. I hope I am happyer then ſo Captaine, for a my Troth ſhee keepes me. How? is there anye ſuch fortunate man breathing? and I ſo miſerable to liue honeſt? I enuie thee Lieutenant, I enuie thee, that thou art ſuch a happye Knaue, heres my hand among you, ſhare it equally, Ile to ſea with you. There ſpoke a Noble Captaine. Lets heare from you, there will be newes ſhortly. Doubt it not Captaine. What luſtfull paſſion came aboord of mee, that I ſhould marrye, was I drunke? yet that cannot altogether holde, for it was foure a clocke 'ith morning, had it beene fiue, I would ha ſworne it: that a man is in danger euerie minute to be caſt away, without hee haue an extraordinarie Pilot that can performe more then a man can doe: and to ſay truth too, when 'ime abroad what can I doe at home? no man liuing can reach ſo farre: & what a horrible thing t'would bee to haue hornes brought me at Sea, to looke as if the Deuill were 'ith ſhip: and all the greate Tempeſtes would bee thought of my Rayſing, to bee the generall curſſe of all Merchants: and yet they likely are as deepe in as my ſelfe, and thats a comfort: O that a Captaine ſhould liue to be marryed! nay, I that haue beene ſuch a Gallant ſalt-theefe, ſhould yet liue to be marryed: What a fortunate Elder Brother is he, whoſe father being a Ramiſh Plough-man, himſelfe a perfumde Gentleman, ſpending the labouring reeke from his Fathers: Noſthrils in Tobacco: the ſweate of his Fathers bodye in monthlye Phiſickc for his pretty queſie Harlot: he ſowes a pace 'ith Countrie: the Taylor oretakes him i'th Cittie, ſo that often times before the Corne comes to Earning, tis vp to the eares in high Collars, and ſo at euerie harueſt the Reapers take paines for the Mercers, ha! why this is ſtirring happineſſe indeede, would my father had held a plow ſo, and fed vpon ſqueaz'd Curds and Onions, that I might haue bath'd inſenſualitie: but hee was too ruttiſh himſelfe to let me thriue vnder him, canſumde me before hee got me, & that makes me ſo wretched, now to be ſhackled with a wife, & not greatly rich neither. Captaine, my Huſband. S'life call me husband agen, & ile play the Captaine and beate you. What ha's diſturb'd you ſir, that you now looke ſo like an Enemie vpon me?