Sharpham, Edward · published 1607 · first performed or written 1607 (Annals) comedy · Children of the King's Revels unassigned nearest T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy · 510 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
Dost hear? ye are a sort of uncertain giddy wavering, tottering tumbling creatures, your affections are like yourselves, and yourselves like your affections, up & down, like the tucks on your Petticoats, which you let fall and take up as occasion serves: I have seen of your sex fall in love with a man, for wearing a handsome Rose on his shoe: another fall into the passion of the heart, to see a man untie his point, to make water: a third fall into the shaking Ague for eating a body cherry with two stones, and yet you'll' be fellows, even with the very image of your maker: but wilt let me alone, and i'faith i'll be quiet. alone! faith no. Then i'll leave thee, since I know 'tis folly beyond madness, to make her pleasure cause of my sadness. Believe it Lady, this was well done, and like a Lady of a high birth: make your husband know his advancement. O shadow, shadow, I would have you know I would not wrong him for all the seas drowned riches: for if my heart of blood should do it as he supposeth it doth, even that blood would like a traitor write my faults with blushing red upon my cheeks: but because I (as all women and Courtiers do) love good clothes which his eyes wear, yet he upbraids me, swearing 'tis to please the multitude, and that I spread gay rags about me like a net to catch the hearts of strangers: if I go poor, than he swears I am beastly, with a loathed sluttishness: if I be sad, than I grieve he is so near: if merry, and with a modest wantonising kiss Embrace his Love, then are my twistings more dangerous than a snake's, my lust more unsatiate than was Messalina's: Yet this from jealousy doth always grow. What most they seek they loath'st of all would know. But now to you dear Cousen, forgiveness let me ask, and pardon for my feigned jealousy, and take but thus much of my counsel. Marry not in haste, for she that takes the best of Husbands, puts but on a golden fetter, for husbands are but like to painted fruit, which promise much, but still deceives us when we come to touch: if you match with a Courtier, he'll have a dozen mistresses at least, and repent his marriage within four and twenty hours at most, swearing a wife is fit for none but an old justice or a country Gentleman. If ye marry a Citizen (though ye live never so honest) yet ye shall be sure to have a Cuckold to your Husband. If a Lawyer, the neatness of his clerk will draw in question the good carriage of his wife. If a Merchant, he'll be venturing abroad, when a might deal a great deal more safe at home: therefore come Cousen come, let's home, and this take of me, That amongst the best there's none good, all ill: she's married best that's: wedded to her will.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Doost heare? ye are a sort of vncertaine giddy wauering, tottering tumbling creatures, your affections are like your selues, and yourselues like your affections, vp & downe, like the tuckes on your Petticotes, which you let fall and take vp as occasion serues: I haue seene of your sex fall in loue with a man, for wearing a hansome Rose on his shoe: another fall into the passion of the heart, to see a man vntie his pointe, to make water: a third fall into the shaking Ague for eating a bodie cherry with two stones, and yet youl' be fellowes, euen with the verie image of your maker: but wilt let me alone, and yfaith ile be quiet. A lone! faith no. Then ile leaue thee, since I know tis folly beyond madnesse, to make her pleasure cause of my sadnesse. Beleeue it Lady, this was well done, and like a Lady of a hie birth: make your husband know his aduauncement. O shadow, shadowe, I would haue you knowe I would not wrong him for all the seas drown'd ritches: for if my heart of bloud should doe it as hee supposeth it doth, euen that bloud would like a traytor write my faultes with blushing redde vpon my cheekes: but because I (as all women and Courtyers doe) loue good cloathes which his eyes weare, yet hee abraides me, swearing tis to please the multitude, and that I spread gay raggs about mee like a nette to catch the hearts of strangers: if I goe poore, then hee sweares I am beastly, with a loathed sluttishnesse: if I bee sad, then I grieue hee is so neare: if merrie, and with a modest wantonising kisse Imbrace his Loue, then are my twistings more dangerous then a Snakes, my lust more vnatiate then was Messalnas: Yet this from Iealiousie doth alwaies growe. What moste they seeke they loth'st of all would knowe. But now to you deare Cousen, forgiuenesse let mee aske, and pardon for my ained Iealousie, and take but thus much of my counsaile. Marrye not in hast, for she that takes the best of Husbands, puts but on a gouldē fetter, for husbands are but like to painted fruite, which promise much, but still deceaues vs when wee come to touch: if you match with a Courtier, heele haue a dozen mistresses at least, and repent his marriage within foure and twentie houres at moste, swearing a wife is fit for none but an olde Iustice or a countrie Gentleman. If ye marry a Citizen (though ye liue neuer so honest) yet yee shall bee sure to haue a Cuckold to your Husband. If a Lawyer, the neatenesse of his Clarke will drawe in question the good carriage of his wife. If a Merchant, heele be venturing abroad, when a might deale a great deale more safe at home: therfore come Cousen come, lets home, and this take of mee, That amongst the best there's none good, all ill: shee's marryed best that's: wedded to her will.