Sharpham, Edward · published 1607 · first performed or written 1607 (Annals) comedy · Children of the King's Revels T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy typicality 0.82 · 503 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
I was the fitter for a Husband, ye might then a been sure to have taken me a-bed at all times, True, so might other men too. No, ye are deceived husband, other men never lie with a man's wife but when she is ready for them, but to the purpose: this night have I promised the Lord Nonsuch a shall enjoy my love, for which cause he will send a certain Pander before, for fear you stand a rock in his way, on which all his hopes will suffer shipwreck. Now this same Panderly pilate shall be by you bribed to stand sentinel, and give the watchword when 'a comes, that you may then punish him, either with death or fear. O shallow and womanish invention, as if he would betray his master. Tut money often times corrupts a good, disposition and makes a knave ride post to hell. But is this true? art honest indeed? come hither, dost love me, dost? nay but tell me true, dost? Or else in hatred let me ever live. Do not flatter me, I scarce believe thee, thou never kissest me but with such an affection, as a young wife doth an old husband wringing her lips, and making a mouth as if she were taking a Potion. You distaste me much sir. Dost not distats me too sometimes, tell me true? Nothing but your jealousy. Well prithee forgive me and let's go, but i'll so swinge my Lord a whoreson otter, i'll teach him fish in other men's ponds. Did you deliver my Letter? With secrecy. To herself? Her own hands. Made she any answer? Not any. What other news then rides on the back of report? Why they say sit that mistress Correction the Midwife is turned hermaphrodite. Why Hermaphrodit? Why sir, she is become a Midwife, for as your hermaphrodit hath two members the one to beget, the other to bring forth, so hath your Midwife too means, the one to bring you to beget, the other to bring it forth when 'tis begotten: and look you sir, hear she appears upon her Q. O prithee do thou board her as she passes by. Who I board her? by this light I dare not. Then I will: fairly met fair Mistress. Indeed forsooth I have been, by my truth I see he is a fine spoken man. whereabouts is your house fair Lady? Here fast by sir, not above a couple of stone's cast off. What Gentlewomen have ye at home? O Master Wages, how doye? faith sir I have nobody at home but mistress Punckit, you know her well. What's she? Truly sir a very courteous Gentlewoman, & she loves to act in as clean linen as any Gentlewoman of her function about the town, and truly that's the reason that your sincere Puritans cannot abide to wear a surplice, because they say 'tis made of the same thing that your villainous sin is committed in, as your most profane holland.
nodes 166–197 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 10 of 46 in this edition
Length
503 words · 661 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T23 — Husbands, wives and jealousycross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.825 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T26 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
I was the fitter for a Husband, ye might then a bin sure to haue taken me a bed at all times, True, so might other men too. No, ye are deceiu'd husband, other men neuer lie with a mans wife but when she is ready for them, but to the purpose: this night haue I promis'd the Lord Nonsuch a shall inioy my loue, for which cause hee will send a certaine Pander before, for feare you stand a rocke in his way, on which all his hopes will suffer ship-wracke. Now this same Panderlie Pylate shall bee by you bribed to stād sentinell, and giue the watchword when a comes, that you may then punnish him, either with death or feare. O snallowe and womannish inuention, as if he wold betray his maister. Tut money often times corrupts a good, disposition and makes a knaue ride poast to hell. But is this true? art honest indeede? come hither, doost loue me, doost? nay but tell me true, doost? Or else in hatred let me euer liue. Doe not flatter me, I scarce beleeue thee, thou neuer kissest me but with such an affection, as a young wife doth an olde husband wringing her lippes, and making a mouth as if she were taking a Potion. You distast me much sir. Dost not distats me too sometimes, tell me true? Nothing but your Iealousie. Well prethee forgiue mee and lets goe, but ile so swindge my Lord a hr son otter, ile teach him fish in other mens ponds. Did you deliuer my Letter? With secrecie. To her selfe? Her owne handes. Made she any answer? Not any. What other newes then rides on the back of report? Why they say sit that mistris Correction the Midwife is turn'd her Maphrodit. Why Hermaphrodit? Why sir, she is become a Midwife, for as your hermaphrodit hath two members the one to beget, the other to bring foorth, so hath your Mid ife too meanes, the one to bring you to beget, the other to bring it foorth when tis begotten: and looke you sir, heare shee appeares vpon her Q. O prethee doe thou boord her as she passes by. Who I boord her? by this light I dare not. Then I will: fairely met faire Mistris. Indeede forsooth I haue bin, by my truth I see he is a fine spoken man. Where abouts is your house faire Lady? Heere fast by sir, not aboue a couple of stones cast off. What Gentlewomen haue ye at home? O Maister Wages, how do'y? faith sir I haue no body at home but mistris Punckit, you knowe her well. What's she? Truly sir a very courteous Gentlewomā, & she loues to act in as cleane linnen as any Gentlewoman of her function about the towne, and truly that's the reason that your sincere puritanes cannot abide to weare a Surplesse, because they say tis made of the same thing that your villanous sin is committed in, as your most prophane holland.