Sharpham, Edward · published 1607 · first performed or written 1607 (Annals) comedy · Children of the King's Revels unassigned nearest T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy · 515 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
Nay good Husband for pity sake hear me. Talk not of pity, pity is deaf and cannot hear the poor man's cry, much less a strumpet's. For charity hear me. Charity is frozen and benumbed with cold, it cannot help thee, dost kneel? dost kneel? to the heaven's not to me yet they look thy heart should stoop, and not the knee. Dost weep dost? Rise, rise thou strumpet, go out of my sight, in, in. I go, Yet this my comfort, in the gall of life, Suspicion never wronged a truer wife. Hoe, Wages! Here sir. Come heather Wages, my old resolution is come on me again, and it shall make me do much, for I will geld myself. Alas sir that's the only way to make you do little. Therefore go fetch me the Operator. What's he sir? The stone-Cutter. O you mean the Sowgelder. O! he's an excellent fellow, he takes away the cause of a man's beastly desires. ay, and of their manly performance too. He makes a man not care a rush for a woman. No, nor a Woman care a straw for a man. Doth not such a fellow deserve commendations? Yes as a hangman doth, for cutting off the traitors that makes the flesh rebel. Wages I do now more doubt my wives honesty then ever, therefore i'll make him the touchstone of her reputation. Faith sir ye might get easier touchstones than he a great deal, there's many a goldsmiths wife in Cheapside could help you to a better. He deserves much praise. ay, as your cockatrice doth for the dismembering of men. If she be a punket i'll not be divorced. Why should ye? why ye cannot keep more Gentlemanlike company: beside, your punk: is like your politician, for they both consume themselves, for the common people. And your punk of the two, is the better member, for she like a candle to light others's, burns herself. Well wages, come follow me, for I am resolved to try my wives honesty. Venus lay where Mars had found her, And in warlike arms he bound her, Cupid cried, and Vulcan spied: And thereon threw the Sciclops, But his horn, begat his scorn, With all the little God's mocks. Now some honest Gentleman pass by that I might sell him the maidenhead of my occupation for a half penny mass, here 'a comes, a shall ha''t, ye faith. Worshipful Gentleman, look with your eye, and pity with your heart the distress of a martial man, I have been a man in my days, and acquainted with better fortunes than I now see: time hath been I have borne arms, but now one's gone, and I can no longer write Gentleman: wherefore if you please to bestow but one poor thistle of your bounty to prick the blister of my poverty, it would set my slender fortunes a float, where they now lie beating on the goodwins of famine, I am none of these Ludgatians that beg for fourscore and ten poor men: my suit is only for myself.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Nay good Husband for pittie sake hear me. Talk not of pittie, pittie is deafe and cannot heare the poore mans crie, much lesse a strumpets. For charitie heare me. Charity is frosen and benumb'd with colde, it cannot helpe thee, doost kneele? doost kneele? to the heauen's not to me yet they looke thy heart should stoope, and not the knee. Doost weepe dost? Rise, rise thou stumpet, go out of my sight, in, in. I goe, Yet this my comfort, in the gall of life, Suspition neuer wrong'd a truer wife. Hoe, Wages! Heere sir. Come heather Wages, my olderesolution is come on me againe, and it shall make me doe much, for I will geld my selfe. Alasse sir thats the onely way to make you doe little. Therefore goe fetch me the Opperator. What's he sir? The stone-Cutter. O you meane the Sow-gelder. O he's an excellent fellow, he takes away the cause of a mans beastlie desires. I, and of their manly performance too. He makes a man not care a rush for a woman. No, nor a Woman care a strawe for a man. Doth not such a fellow deserue commendations? Yes as a hangman doth, for cutting off the traitors that makes the flesh rebell. Wages I doe now more doubt my wiues honestie then euer, therefore ile make him the touchstone of her reputation. Faith sir ye might get easier touchstones then hee a great deale, theres many a Goldsmithes wife in Cheapeside could helpe you to a better. He deserue's much praise. I, as your cockatrice doth for the dismembring of men. If she be a punckit ile not be diuorc'd. Why should ye? why ye cannot keepe more Gentlema ike company: besides, your puncke: is like your pollitition, for they both consume themselues, for the commō people. And your punck of the two, is the better member, for she like a candell to light others's, burnes hir selfe. Well wages, come follow me, for I am resoul'd to trie my wiues honestie. Venus lay where Mars had found her, And in warlike armes he bound her, Cupid cride, and Vulcane spide: And thereon threw the Sciclops, But his horne, begatte his scorne, With all the little Gods mockes. Now some honest Gentleman passe by that I might sell him the maiden-head of my occupation for a halfe penny masse, heere a comes, a shall ha't, ye faith. Worshipfull Gentleman, looke with your eye, and pitty with your hert the distresse of a martiall mā, I haue bene a man in my daies, and acquainted with better fortunes then I now see time hath beene I haue borne armes, but now one's gone, and I can no longer write Gentleman: wherfore if you please to bestowe but one poore thistle of your bountie to pricke the blister of my pouertie, it would set my slender fortunes a flote, where they now lie beating on the goodwins of famine, I am none of these Lugations that beg for fourescore and ten poore men: my suite is only for my selfe.