Sharpham, Edward · published 1607 · first performed or written 1607 (Annals) comedy · Children of the King's Revels unassigned nearest T23 Husbands, wives and jealousy · 501 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T23: wife, husband, cuckold, jealousy, woman, jealous, mistress, love, house, honest.
Shall she away? if she do, you do you know not what, you draw a thousand thousand enemies about your ears, her kindred they'll exclaim, no friends will seek revenge, and your enemies will grow even fat with laughter at your folly. Besides: what Woman then will have you, are you not gelded? assure yourself that now there is none will love you, most will hate you, but all will scorn you, therefore by my advice make much of her, and keep her while you have her. Hah! now by the virtue of my hearing, he speaks but reason. So, 'tis good to keep her still: dwell in the Suburbs to break down your own glass windows, set some picks upon your hatch, and I pray profess to keep a bawdy-house. A bawdy-house? no, i'll die first, and if I see but any apparent show of her disloyalty, i'll even be divorced immediately. Well, I see the substance of this slave is villainy. But i'll prevent him even what I can, Since none is worse than a Serving honest man, Why had I not a good leg? did I not always wear clean lining? was not my hand washed, my beard combed, my cloak brushed, and my shoes blacked, every morning. True, why the more viler strumpet she to cuckold you. But how dost know she is with child. Know it, why she's daily troubled with water pangs, and quakings over her stomach. Indeed I must needs say that's a great proof, she hath filled her belly with something that stood against her stomach, but dost not think 'tis my child. yours! why how can't be yours: are you not circumcised to the quick? Yes, and the remembrance of it galls me. That's a sign ye are too patient, and like an Ass endure all without resistance. Ha, ha, ha. But why do you laugh sir? To think who the child will be like. Why you, who should it be like else? Why 'tis none of mine man. Why the more like you for that: why do you not not know the Philosophers hold the child is always like the party which the mother thinks off in the conception: now she thought most of you, for fear you should a' come the whiles, and that's the reason so many gentlemen's sons are like your Citizens, and calls them fathers too, for otherwise how could it be that a young Cockney being left forty or fifty thousand pounds: spends all within so many months, but that some young gallant begat him, for you know the prover be, Cat will after kind. No, had the old Citizen begotten him, he would a bit a Fig in two, to have made just weight, & have had a pot with a false bottom, rather than a sold too much measure, he would have done all things within measure as your old Citizen did, and not a spend all beyond measure, as your young Gallants do.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Shall she away? if she doe, you doe you knowe not what, you draw a thousand thousand enemies about your eares, her kindred theill exclaime, no friends will seeke reuenge, and your enemies will growe euen fat with laughter at your folly. Besides: what Woman then will haue you, are you not gelded? assure your selfe that now there is none will loue you, moste will hate you▪ but all will scorne you, therefore by my aduice make much of her, and keepe her while you haue her. Hah! now by the vertue of my hearing, he speakes but reason. So, tis good to keepe her stil: dwell in the Subburbs to break down your owne glasse windowes, set some pickes vppon your hatch, and I pray professe to keepe a Baudy-house. A Bawdie-house? no, ile die first, and if I see but any apparent shewe of her disloyaltie, ile euen be diuorced immediately. Well, I see the substance of this slaue is villanie. But ile preuent him euen what I can, Since none is worse then a Seruing honest man, Why had I not a good legge? did I not alwaies weare cleane lining? was not my hand washed, my beard comb'd, my cloake brushed, and my shooes blacked, euery morning. True, why the more viler strumpet shee to cuckold you. But how doo'st knowe she is with childe. Knowe it, why shee's dayly troubled with water panges, and quakings ouer her stomacke. Indeede I must needes say that's a great proofe, shee hath fild her bellie with something that stood against her stomacke, but doost not thinke tis my childe. Your's! why how can't be your's: are you not circumcised to the quicke? Yes, and the rememberance of it galles me. Thats a signe ye are too patient, and like an Ass eindure all without resistance. Ha, ha, ha. But why doe you laugh sir? To thinke who the childe will be like. Why you, who should it be like lse? Why tis none of mine man. Why the more like you for that: why doe you not not knowe the Philosophers hold the childe is alwaies like the partie which the mother thinkes off in the conception: now she thought moste of you, for feare you should a come the whiles, and thats the reason so many Gentlemens sonnes are like your Cittizens, and calles them fathers too, for otherwise how could it bee that a young Cockney being left fortie or fiftiie thousand pounds: spends all within so many monthes, but that some young gallant begat him, for you knowe the prouer be, Cat will after kinde. No, had the old Cittizen begotten him, he would a bit a Fig in two, to haue made iust weight, & haue had a pot wih a false bottom, rather then a solde too much measure, hee would haue done al things within measre as your olde Citizen did, and not a spend al beyond measure, as your young Gallants doe.