Sharpham, Edward · published 1607 · first performed or written 1606 (Annals) comedy · Children of the Queen's Revels · Blackfriars unassigned nearest T16 Gallantry: ladies, lordships and complim · 477 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T16: lady, madam, gentleman, lordship, ladies, honour, mistress, sweet, court, servant.
By the divine smoke of Tobacco signeur, you have shamed us all. Swear not good sir, swear not, profane not the Indian plant. Had you nobody else signeur, to break an empty jest on but this Lady? No, no, a thinks any thing is good enough for me. Sir, would you make my Lady and me friends? Nay signeur, I have no face to speak, now you have abused her in your own Element: if it had been in any thing but Tobacco, I would have done my best. Hark you sig you were best to ask her forgiveness on your knees, there's no way to get her friendship else. But will she forgive me think you if I ask her mercy on my knees? Why, prove signeur, you can but try, we'll all speak for you. Good Lady will you forgive this signeur? you see his penitent, grief hath brought him very low, for he's on's knees; beside he weeps; speak signeur speak for yourself. Lady, I must confess I have offered you an empty pipe, which methinks hath small reason to be taken in snuff. And you are sorry for't signeur, are you not? I with all my heart. Forgive him good Lady, pray forgive him, I am content Gent at your entreaties upon conditions. Upon any conditions. But you shall be sworn to them. Most willingly. Come, a shall be sworn on's own Tobacco pipe. Look you signeur, he told you there was no way to get her good will but by kneeling; for he that will have a woman's love must stoop. Come master you shall take his oath, and I'll minister't. Come signeur, put your hand to the pipe. First you shall never while you live offer Lady or Gentlewoman an empty pipe. Never. Secondly, you shall never make Tobacco your Idol, taking it in a morning before you say your prayers. Never Thirdly, you shall never in the praise of Tobacco disclose or dispraise by the way of making comparisons, the secrets of Ladies, or Gentlewomen, as repeating their distilled waters, their censing oils, or their smoothing unguents. To this you swear. Most willingly. Fourthly, you shall never come with your squibs & smoke-squirts amongst Ladies and Gentlewomen, flinging out fume at your Nostrils, as a whale doth salt-water, unless you be entreated by them. Never. Fiftly, you shall presently convey yourself out of our company, never to come more near us, unless you be sent for. Never? No never: so, let him kiss the pipe. Come signor, you have kneeled to a fair end, to get you a Mistress, and here you have for sworn her. I'm in a fair case now. i'faith now thou'rt a comb for any case. Well, i'll keep my oath, farewell Gentlemen. Farewell signor. Adieu signor. God hew signor. Well, some shall smoke for this.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
By the diuine smoke of Tobacco signeur, you haue sham'd vs all. Sweare not good sir, sweare not, prophane not the Indian plant. Had you no bodie else signeur, to breake an emptie ieast on but this Ladie? No, no, a thinks any thing is good ynough for me. Sir, would you make my Ladie and me friends? Nay signeur, I haue no face to speake, now you haue abusde her in your owne Element: if it had beene in any thing but Tobacco, I would haue done my best. Harke you sig you were best to aske her forgiuenes on your knees, ther's no way to get her friendship else. But wil she forgiue me thinke you if I ask eher mercie on my knees? Why, proue signeur, you can but trie, weele al speake for you. Good Lady will you forgiue this signeur? you see his penitent, griefe hath brought him verie low, for hees on's knees; besides he weepes; speake signeur speake for your selfe. Ladie, I must confesse I haue offred you an emptie pipe, which me thinks hath smal reason to be takē in snuff. And you are sorie for't signeur, are you not? I with all my heart. Forgiue him good Ladie, pra'y forgiue him, I am content Gent at your intreaties vpō conditions. Vpon any conditions. But you shall be sworne to them. Nost willingly. Come, a shall be sworne on's owne Tobacco pipe. Looke you signeur, he told you there was no way to get her good will but by kneeling; for he that will haue a womans loue must stoope. Come maister you shall take his oath, and Ile minister't. Come signeur, put your hand to the pipe. First you shall neuer while you liue offer Ladie or Gentlewoman an emptie pipe. Neuer. Secondly, you shall neuer make Tobacco your Idoll, taking it in a morning before you say your prayers. Neuer Thirdly, you shall neuer in the praise of Tobacco disclose or dispraise by the way of making comparisons, the secrets of Ladies, or Gentlewomen, as repeating their distil'd waters, their censing oyles, or their smoothing vnguents. To this you sweare. Most willingly. Fourthly, you shall neuer come with your squibs & smoke-squirts amongst Ladies and Gentlewomē, flinging out fume at your Nostrels, as a whale doth salt-water, vnlesse you be intreated by them. Neuer. Fiftly, you shall presently conuey your selfe out of our company, neuer to come more neere vs, vnlesse you be sent for. Neuer? No neuer: so, let him kisse the pipe. Come Signior, you haue kneeld to a faire end, to get you a Mistris, and heere you haue for sworne her. I'me in a faire case now. I faith now thar't a combe for any case. Well, ile keepe my oath, farewell Gentlemen. Farwell Signior. Adew Signior. God bewe Signior. Well, some shall smoke for this.