Barry, Lording · published 1608 · first performed or written 1603 [c.1603-1607] (Annals) comedy · Children of the King's Revels T3 Sickness, physic and doctors typicality 0.72 · 500 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T3: doctor, master, cure, disease, pray, physic, physician, mr, sick, lady.
Was ever woman so moved? but you shall be talked withal, and for mine old fornicator, he shall ha''t as hot as coals i'faith: here's stuff indeed! Come minxes come, there's Law for you both, have I found your knavery: if I wink at this, let me be stone blind, or stoned to death, bear this and bear all. Our hopes are crossed, sure there's some providence Which countermands libidinous appetites, For what we most intend, is counterchecked By strange and unexpected accidents: For by disguise procuring full access, Nay ready to have feared th'expected prize The candle out, steps twixt my hopes and me Some pleasant Groin, possessed and full enjoyed That sweet, for which our vigilant eyes have watched And in one moment frustrates all our hopes. Upon my life we are bewitched, the greasy Rascal, that first seized Mistress Purge (by the last reflection of the light) appeared to my sight not much unlike her husband. The Courts gall, the cities plague, and Europa's Sea form be his perpetual Crest, whate'er a was. To lose Mistress Purge for lack of dexterity, is a disgrace insalveable. The like opportunity will never present itself. 'twas an egregious grief, I must confess to see a knave slip betwixt us both, and take occasion by the foretop, but since these projects have had so star cross events, let's lay some plot how to revenge our late disgrace on the Doctor, by making him Cuckold. Agreed, but what melancholy sir with acrostic arms now comes from the Family? Purge the Pothecary, I prithee let's step aside and hear the issue of this discontent. O the misery of married men's estate! A begins very pitifully. O women what are many of you? Why disease to bachelors, and plagues to married men. O marriage, the rage of all our miseries, my wife is a dissembling strumpet. So is many a man's besides yours, and what of that? I would have a law that all such which pray little should instantly be married, for then would they pray continually if it were but to be rid of their wives. This is a charitable request and surely would pass the lower House. Surely if affliction can bring a man to heaven I cannot see how any married man can be damned, I have made myself a plain Cuckold. A pile on ye, want you? had you not been so manable, here are some would have saved you that labour. What shall I do in this extremity, had I but witness of the fact, I would make her answer it before authority, This is my wedding Ring; 'tis hit I know it by the posy This I took from her finger in the dark, and she was therewith very well pleased, were not this trow, a sufficient testimony? She knows not that it was myself got so near her, I will take council; well, little know Bachelors the miseries they undergo, when they prostrate themselves to women.
nodes 803–829 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 27 of 40 in this edition
Length
500 words · 662 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T3 — Sickness, physic and doctorscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.720 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T3 · seed 44: T4 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
VVas euer woman ſo mou'd? but you ſhall be talkt withall, and for mine oulde fornicator, he ſhall ha't as hot as coales yfaith: heers ſtuffe indeed! Come mynkes come, ther's Law for you both, haue I found your knauery: if I winke at this, let me be ſtone blind, or ſton'd to death, beare this and beare all. Our hopes are croſt, ſure thers ſome prouidence VVhich countermaunds libidinous appetites, For what we moſt intend, is countercheckt By ſtrange and vnexpected accidents: For by diſguiſe procuring full acceſſe, Nay ready to haue feard thexpected prize The candle out, ſteps twixt my hopes and me Some pleaſant Groine, poſſeſt and full inioyd That ſweet, for which our vigilāt eies haue watcht And in one moment fruſtrates all our hopes. Vppon my life we are bewitcht, the greaſie Raſcall, that firſt ſeazed Miſtriſſe Purge (by the laſt reflection of the light) appeared to my ſight not much vnlike her huſband. The Courtes gall, the Citties plague, and Europaes Sea forme be his perpetuall Creſt, what ere a was. To looſe Miſtriſſe Purge for lacke of dexterity, is a diſgrace inſalueable. The like oportunity will neuer preſent it ſelfe. Twas an egregious greefe, I muſt confeſſe to ſee a knaue ſlip betwixt vs both, and take occaſion by the foretop, but ſince theſe proiects haue had ſo ſtar croſſe euents, lets lay ſome plot how to reuenge our late diſgrace on the Doctor, by making him Cuckold. Agreed, but what melancholie ſir with a croſtick armes now comes from the Family? Purge the potecarie, J prethee lets ſtep aſide and heare the iſſue of this diſcontent. O the miſerie of married mens eſtate! A begins very pittifully. O women what are many of you? VVhy diſeaſe to batchelers, and plagues to maried men. O marriage, the rage of all our miſeries, my wife is a deſembling ſtrumpet. So is manie a mans beſides yours, and what of that? I would haue a law that all ſuch which pray little ſhould inſtantly be married, for then would they pray continually if it were but to be rid of their wiues. This is a charitable requeſt and ſurely would paſſe the lower Houſe. Surely if affliction can bring a man to heauen I cannot ſee how any married man can bee damn'd, J haue made my ſelfe a plaine Cuckold. A pile on yee, want you? had you not been ſoe manable, here are ſome would haue ſaued you that labor. VVhat ſhall I doe in this extremity, had I but witneſſe of the fact, I woulde make her anſwere it before authority, This is my wedding Ringe; Tis hit I knowe it by the poſy This I tooke from her finger in the dark, and ſhe was therewith very well pleaſed, were not this tro, a ſufficient teſtimony? She knowes not that it was my ſelfe got ſo neare her, J will take councell; well, litle know Batchelers the miſeries they vndergo, when they proſtrate themſelues to women.