Middleton, Thomas · published 1608 · first performed or written 1606 [1604-1607] (Annals) comedy · Children of Paul's (second) T8 Captains, gallants and cheats typicality 0.85 · 513 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T8: captain, master, money, gentleman, little, lieutenant, rogue, pray, minos, honest.
Captain, Regent, Principal, What shall I call thee? The Noble spark of bounty; The lifeblood of Society. Call me your Forecast, you whoresons, when you come drunk out of a Tavern, 'tis I must cast your plots into form still; 'tis I must manage the Prank, or I'll not give a louse for the proceeding: I must let fly my civil fortunes, turn wildbrain, lay my wits upo'th' Tenters, you rascals, to maintain a company of villains, whom I love in my very soul and conscience. A ha, our little forecast. Hang you, you have bewitched me among you, I was as well given till I fell to be wicked, my Grandsire had hope of me, I went all in black, swore but a Sundaies, never came home drunk, but upon fasting nights to cleanse my stomach; 'slid now I'm quite altered, blown into light colours, let out oaths byth' minute, sit up late till it be early, drink drunk till I am sober, sink down dead in a Tavern, and rise in a tobacco-shop: her's a transformation: I was wont yet to pity the simple, and leave 'em some money: 'slid, now I gull 'em without conscience; I go without order, swear without number, gull without mercy, & drink without measure. I deny the last, for if you drink near so much, you drink within measure. How prove you that sir? Because the drawers never fill their pots. mass that was well found out all drunkards may lawfully say, they drink within measure by that trick, dna now I'm put i'th' mind of a trick can you keep your countenance villains? yet I am a fool to ask that, for how can they keep their countenance that have lost their credits? I warrant you for blushing Captain. I easily believe that Ancient, for thou lost thy colours once; Nay faith as for blushing, I think there's grace little enough amongst you all, 'tis lent in your cheeks, the flag's down; well, your blushing face I suspect not, nor indeed greatly your laughing-face, unless you had more money in your purses: then thus compendiously now, you all know the possibilities of my hereafter fortunes, and the humour of my frolic Grandsire Sir Bounteous Progress; whose death makes all possible to me: I shall have all, when he has nothing; but now he has all, I shall have nothing: I think one mind runs through a million of 'em; they love to keep us sober all the while they're alive, that when they're dead we may drink to their healths; they cannot abide to see us merry all the while there above ground; and that makes so many laugh at their father's funerals: I know my Grandsire has his Will in a Box, and has bequeathed all to me, when he can carry nothing away; but stood I in need of poor ten pounds now, by his will I should hang myself ere I should get it, there's no such word in his Will I warrant you, nor no such thought in his mind.
nodes 0–12 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 1 of 36 in this edition
Length
513 words · 674 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T8 — Captains, gallants and cheatscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.845 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T11 · seed 44: T14 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Captaine, Regent, Principall, What ſhall I call thee? The Noble ſparke of bounty; The life-bloud of Society. Call mee your Forecaſt, you whoreſons, when you come drunk out of a Tauerne, t'is I muſt caſt your plots into forme ſtil; tis I muſt manage the Pranck, or Ile not giue a louſe for the proceeding: I muſt let flie my ciuil fortunes, turne wilde-braine, lay my wits vpo'th Tenters, you raskals, to maintaine a company of villaines, whom I loue in my very ſoule and conſcience. A ha, our little forecaſt. Hang you, you haue bewitcht me among you, I was as well giuen till I fell to be wicked, my Grandſire had hope of me, I went all in blacke, ſwore but a Sundaies, neuer came home drunke, but vpon faſting nights to clenſe my ſtomacke; ſl'id now I'me quite altered, blowne into light colours, let out othes by'th minute, ſit vp late till it bee early, drinke drunke till I am ſober, ſincke downe dead in a Tauerne, and riſe in a Tabacco-ſhop: her's a transformation: I was wont yet to pitie the ſimple, and leaue e'm ſome money: ſl'id, now I gull e'm without conſcience; I goe without order, ſweare without number, gull without mercie, & drinke without meaſure. I deny the laſt, for if you drinke nere ſo much, you drinke within meaſure. How proue you that ſir? Becauſe the drawers neuer fill their pots. Maſle that was well found out all drunkerds may lawfully ſay, they drinke within meaſure by that tricke, dna now I'me put i'th mind of a tricke can you keepe your countenance villaines? yet I am a foole to aske that, for how can they keepe their countenance that haue loſt their credits? I warrant you for bluſhing Captaine. I eaſily beleeue that Antient, for thou loſt thy colours once; Nay faith as for bluſhing, I thinke ther's grace little enough amongſt you all, tis lent in your cheekes, the flag's downe; wel, your bluſhing face I ſuſpect not, nor indeed greatly your laughing-face, vnleſſe you had more money in your purſes: then thus compendiouſly now, you all know the poſſibilities of my hereafter fortunes, and the humor of my frolike Grandſire Sir Bounteous Progreſſe; whoſe death makes all poſſible to me: I ſhall haue all, when he ha's nothing; but now he ha's all, I ſhall haue nothing: I thinke one minde runnes through a million of e'm; they loue to keepe vs ſober all the while the're aliue, that when the're dead we may drinke to their healths; they cannot abide to ſee vs merry all the while the're aboue ground; and that makes ſo many laugh at their fathers funerals: I know my Grandſire has his Will in a Boxe, and has bequeath'd all to me, when he can carry nothing away; but ſtood I in neede of poore tenne pounds now, by his will I ſhould hang my ſelte e're I ſhould get it, ther's no ſuch word in his Will I warrant you, nor no ſuch thought in his mind.