Middleton, Thomas · published 1608 · first performed or written 1606 [1604-1607] (Annals) comedy · Children of Paul's (second) T8 Captains, gallants and cheats typicality 0.81 · 477 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T8: captain, master, money, gentleman, little, lieutenant, rogue, pray, minos, honest.
And is not most they do against kind I prithee? to lie with their Horse-keeper, is not that against kind? to wear half moons made of another's hair, is not that against kind? to drink down a man, she that should set him up, pray is not that monstrously against kind now? nay over with it Lieutenant, over with it, ever while you live put a woman's clothes over her head: Cupid plays best at blindman buff. You shall have your will maintenance, I love mad tricks as well as you for your heart sir; but what shift will you make for upper Body's Captain? I see now thou'rt an Ass, why I'm ready. Ready? Why the Doublet serves as well as the best, and is most in fashion, were all Male toth' middle, mankind from the Beaver toth' Bum, 'tis an Amazonian time, you shall have women shortly tread their husbands; I should have a couple of Locks behind, prithee Lieutenant find 'em out for me, and wind 'em about my hatband, nay you shall see, we'll be in fashion to a hair, and become all with probability, the most musty-visage Critic shall not except against me. Nay i'll give thee thy due behind thy back, thou art as mad a piece of Clay— Clay! dost call thy Captain Clay? indeed clay was made to stop holes, he says true; did not I tell you rascals you should see a woman quickly made up? I'll swear for't Captain. Come, come, my mask and my chin-clout— Come intoth' Court. Nay they were both i'th' Court long ago sir. Let me see, where shall I choose two or three for Pimps now? but I cannot choose amiss amongst you all, that's the best; well, as I am a Quean, you were best have a care of me, and guard me sure, I give you warning before hand, 'tis a monkey taylde-Age. Life, you shall go nigh to have half a dozen blithe fellows surprise me cowardly, carry me away with a pair of oars, and put in at Putney. We should laugh at that i'faith. Or shoot in upo'th' coast of Cue. Two notable fit landing places for lechers, P. and C. Putney and Cue. Well, say you have fair warning on't, the hair about the hat is as good as a flag upo'th' pole at a common Playhouse to waste company, and a chin-clout is of that powerful attraction I can tell you, 'twill draw more Linen too't? Fear not us Captain, there's none here but can fight for a whore as well as some Inns a Courtman? Why then set forward; and as you scorn two shilling brothel, twelve penny Pandarism, and such base bribes, guard me from bonny Scribs, and bony Scribes. Hang 'em, pensions, and allowances, four pence half penny a meal, hang 'em.
nodes 752–769 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 22 of 36 in this edition
Length
477 words · 658 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T8 — Captains, gallants and cheatscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.809 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T11 · seed 44: T14 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
And is not moſt they doe againſt kind I prethee? to lie with their Horſe-keeper, is not that againſt kind? to weare half moons made of anothers haire, is not that againſt kind? to drinke downe a man, ſhe that ſhould ſet him vp, pray is not that monſtrouſly againſt kind now? nay ouer with it Leiftenant, ouer with it, euer while you liue put a womans clothes ouer her head: Cupid plaies beſt at blind-man buff. You ſhal haue your will maintenance, I loue madde trickes as well as you for your heart ſir; but what ſhift will you make for vpper bodies Captaine? I ſee now thou'rt an Aſſe, why I'me ready. Ready? Why the Doublet ſerues as well as the beſt, and is moſt in faſhion, weere all Male tot'h middle, mankinde from the Beuer to'th Bum, tis an Amazonian time, you ſhall haue women ſhortly treade their husbands; I ſhould haue a couple of Locks behind, prethee Lieutenant find em out for me, and wind 'em about my hatband, nay you ſhall ſee, weele be in faſhion to a hayre, and become all with probability, the moſt muſty-viſage Critick ſhall not except againſt me. Nay ile giue thee thy due behind thy backe, thou art as mad a piece of Clay— Clay! doſt call thy Captaine Clay? indeede clay was made to ſtop holes, he ſayes true; did not I tell you raſcalls you ſhould ſee a woman quickly made vp? Ile ſweare for't Captaine. Come, come, my maſke and my chin-cloute—Come into'th Court. Nay they were both 'ith Court long agoe ſir. Let me ſee, where ſhall I chuſe two or three for Pimps now? but I cannot chuſe amiſſe amongſt you all, thats the beſt; well, as I am a Queane, you were beſt haue a care of me, and guard me ſure, I giue you warning before hand, tis a monckie taylde-Age. Life, you ſhall goe nye to haue halfe a douzen blythe fellowes ſurprize me cowardly, carry me away with a payre of owers, and put in at Putney. We ſhould laugh at that yfaith. Or ſhoote in vppo'th coaſt of Cue. Two notable fit landing places for Leachers, P. and C. Putney and Cue. Well, ſay you haue faire warning on't, the hayre about the hat is as good as a flag vppo'th pole at a common Playhouſe to waſt company, and a chin-cloute is of that powerfull a traction I can tell you, twill draw more Linnen toot? Feare not vs Captaine, there's none here but can fight for a whore as well as ſome Innes a Court-man? Why then ſet forward; and as you ſcorne two ſhilling brothell, twelue penny Pandariſme, and ſuch baſe bribes, guard me from bonny Scribs, and bony Scribes. Hang 'em, penſions, and alowancces, foure pence halfe penny a meale, hang 'em.