Middleton, Thomas · published 1608 · first performed or written 1606 [1604-1607] (Annals) comedy · Children of Paul's (second) T30 Constables, justices and the watch typicality 0.81 · 511 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T30: constable, squire, tub, clay, worship, justice, turf, mr, hun, valentine.
Dare he sit there? 2. Folly-wit. 3. Captain— puh— How now Constable what news with thee? May it please your worship sir,— here are a company of auspicious fellows. To me; puh— turn toth' justice you whoreson hobby horse, this is some new player now, they put all their fools to the Constable's part still. What's the matter Constable, what's the matter? I have nothing to say to your worship— they were all riding a horseback an't please your worship Yet again: a pox of all Asses still, they could not ride a foot unless 'twere in a bawdy house. The Ostler told me they were all unstable fellows sir. Why sure the fellow's drunk. We spied that weakness in him long ago sir, your worship must bear with him, the man's much o'erseen, only in respect of his office we obeyed him, both to appear conformable to law, and clear of all offence: for I protest sir, he found us but a horse back: What he did? As I have a soul, that's all, and all he can lay to us. I'faith, you were not all riding away then. 'Sfoot, being a horseback sir, that must needs follow. Why true sir. Well said justice, he helps his kinsman well. Why Sirrah, do you use to bring Gentlemen before us for riding away, what will you have 'em stand still when they're up, like Smug upo'th' white horse yonder? are your wits steeped? He make you an example for all dizzy Constables, how they abuse justice, here bind him tot his chair. Ha, bind him hoe? If you want cords, use garters. Help, help, Gentlemen. As fast as we can sir. thieves, thieves. A gag will help all this, keep less noise you knave. Oh help, rescue the Constable— oh, O. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Why la you who lets you now? You may ride quietly, I'll see you to, Take horse myself. I have nothing else to do. Oh,— oh— Ha, ha ha, by my troth the maddest piece of justice gentlemen, that ever was committed. He be sworn for the madness on't sir. I am deceived, if this prove not a merry Comedy and a witty. A lass poor Constable, his mouth's open, and near a wife word. Faith he speaks now e'en as many as he has done, he seems wisest when he gapes and says nothing, ha ha;— he turns and tells his tale to me like an ass, what have I to do with their riding away, they may ride for me, thou whoreson Coxcomb then; nay thou art well enough served i'faith, But what follows all this while sir, methinks some should pass by before this time, & pity the Constable. Byth' mass and you say true sir,— go sirrah, step in, I think they have forgot themselves, call the knaves away they're in a wood I believe.— ay, ay, I. Hank, the Constable says I, they're in a wood,— ha, ha,— He thinks long of the time sir Bounteous. How now? when come they?
seed 43: T36 · seed 44: T35 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Dare he ſit there? 2. Follywit. 3. Captaine—puh— How now Conſtable what newes with thee? May it pleaſe your worſhip ſir,—here are a company of auſpicious fellowes. To me; puh—turne to'th Iuſtice you whorſon hobby horſe, this is ſome new player now, they put all their fooles to the Conſtables part ſtill. Whats the matter Conſtable, whats the matter? I haue nothing to ſay to your worſhip—they were all riding a horſeback ant pleaſe your worſhip Yet agen: a pox of all Aſles ſtill, they could not ride a foot vnleſſe twere in a bawdy houſe. The Oftler told me they were all vnſtable fellows ſir. VVhy ſure the fellow's drunke. VVe ſpide that weakeneſſe in him long agoe ſir, your worſhip muſt beare with him, the mans much oreſeene, onely in reſpect of his office wee obeyd him, both to appeare conformable to law, and cleare of all offence: for I proteſt ſir, he found vs but a horſe backe: What he did? As I haue a ſoule, thats all, and all he can lay to vs. Yfaith, you were not all riding away then. S'foot, being a horſebacke ſir, that muſt needs follow. VVhy true ſir. Well ſayd Iuſtice, he helps his kinſeman well. VVhy Sirra, do you vſe to bring Gentlemen before vs for riding away, what will you haue em ſtand ſtill when they're vp, like Smug vpo'th white horſe yonder? are your wits ſteept? He make you an example for all dizzy Conſtables, how they abuſe iuſtice, here bind him tot his chayre. Ha, bind him hoe? If you want cords, vſe garters. Help, help, Gentlemen. As faſt as we can ſir. Theeues, theeues. A gag will help all this, keepe leſſe noiſē you knaue. Oh helpe, reſcue the Conſtable — oh, O. Ho, ho, ho, ho. VVhy la you who lets you now? You may ride quietly, Ile ſee you to, Take horſe my ſelfe. I haue nothing elſe to doe. Oh,—oh—oh— Ha, ha ha, by my troth the maddeſt piece of Iuſtice gentlemen, that euer was committed. He be ſworne for the madneſſe on't ſir. I am deceiu'de, if this proue not a merry Comedy and a witty. A laſſe poore Conſtable, his mouth's open, and nere a wife word. Faith he ſpeakes now een as many as he has done, he ſeemes wiſeſt when he gapes and ſayes nothing, ha ha;— he turnes and tells his tale to me like an aſſe, what haue I to do with their riding away, they may ride for me, thou whorſon Cockſcombe thn; nay thou art well ynough ſeru'de yfaith, But what followes all this while ſir, me thinkes ſome ſhould paſſe by before this time, & pitty the Conſtable. Byth maſſe and you ſay true ſir,—goe ſirrah, ſtep in, I thinke they haue forgot themſelues, call the knaues away they'r in a wood I beleeue.— I, I, I. Hanke, the Conſtable ſayes I, they're in a wood,— ha, ha,— He thinkes long of the time sir Bounteous. How now? when come they?