Shakespeare, William · published 1623 · first performed or written 1602 [1602-1603] (Annals) tragedy · Lord Chamberlain's (Hunsdon's) Men unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 508 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
Give pardon to my speech: Therefore 'tis meet, Achilles' meet not Hector: Let us (like Merchants) show our foulest Wares, And think perchance they'll sell: If not, The lustre of the better yet to show, Shall show the better. Do not consent, That ever Hector and Achilles meet: For both our Honour, and our Shame in this, Are dogged with two strange Followers. I see them not with my old eyes: what are they? What glory our Achilles shares from Hector, (Were he not proud) we all should wear with him: But he already is too insolent, And we were better parch in Afric Sun, Then in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes Should he scape Hector fair. If he were foiled, Why then we did our main opinion crush In taint of our best man. No, make a Lott'ry, And by device let blockish Aiax draw The sort to sight with Hector: Among ourselves, Give him allowance as the worthier man, For that will physic the great Myrmidon Who broils in loud applause, and make him fall His Crest, that prouder than blue Iris bends. If the dull brainless Aiax come safe off, we'll dress him up in voices: if he fail, Yet go we under our opinion still, That we have better men. But hit or miss, Our projects life this shape of sense assumes, Aiax employed, plucks down Achilles' Plumes. Now Ulysses, I begin to relish thy advice, And I will give a taste of it forthwith To Agamemnon, go we to him strait: Two Curs shall tame each other, Pride alone Must tar the Mastiffs on, as 'twere their bone. Thersites? Agamemnon, how if he had Biles (full) all over generally. Thersites? And those Byles did run, say so; did not the General run, were not that a botchy core? Dog. Then there would come some matter from him: I see none now. Thou Bitch-Wolfes-Sonne, canst thou not hear? Feel then. The plague of Greece upon thee thou Mongrel beefe-witted Lord. Speak then you whinid'st leaven speak, I will beat thee into handsomeness. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness: but I think thy Horse will sooner con an Oration, then thou learn a prayer without book: Thou canst strike, canst thou? A red Murrain o' th' thy jades tricks. Toads stool, learn me the Proclamation. Dost thou think I have no sense thou strik'st me thus? The Proclamation. Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think. Do not Porpentine, do not; my finger's itch. I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee, I would make thee the lothsom'st scab in Greece. I say the Proclamation. Thou grumblest & railest every hour on Achilles, and thou art as full of envy at his greatness, as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty. I, that thou barkst at him. Mistress Thersites. Thou shouldst strike him. Coblofe. He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a Sailor breaks a biscuit. You whoreson Cur. Do, do.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Giue pardon to my ſpeech: Therefore 'tis meet, Achilles meet not Hector: Let vs (like Merchants) ſhew our fowleſt Wares, And thinke perchance they'l ſell: If not, The luſter of the better yet to ſhew, Shall ſhew the better. Do not conſent, That euer Hector and Achilles meete: For both our Honour, and our Shame in this, Are dogg'd with two ſtrange Followers. I ſee them not with my old eies: what are they? What glory our Achilles ſhares from Hector, (Were he not proud) we all ſhould weare with him: But he already is too inſolent, And we were better parch in Affricke Sunne, Then in the pride and ſalt ſcorne of his eyes Should he ſcape Hector faire. If he were foyld, Why then we did our maine opinion cruſh In taint of our beſt man. No, make a Lott'ry, And by deuice let blockiſh Aiax draw The ſort to ſight with Hector: Among our ſelues, Giue him allowance as the worthier man, For that will phyſicke the great Myrmidon Who broyles in lowd applauſe, and make him fall His Creſt, that prouder then blew Iris bends. If the dull brainleſſe Aiax come ſafe off, Wee'l dreſſe him vp in voyces: if he faile, Yet go we vnder our opinion ſtill, That we haue better men. But hit or miſſe, Our proiects life this ſhape of ſence aſſumes, Aiax imploy'd, pluckes downe Achilles Plumes. Now Vlyſſes, I begin to relliſh thy aduice, And I wil giue a taſte of it forthwith To Agamemnon, go we to him ſtraight: Two Curres ſhal tame each other, Pride alone Muſt tarre the Maſtiffes on, as 'twere their bone. Therſites? Agamemnon, how if he had Biles (ful) all ouer generally. Therſites? And thoſe Byles did runne, ſay ſo; did not the General run, were not that a botchy core? Dogge. Then there would come ſome matter from him: I ſee none now. Thou Bitch-Wolfes-Sonne, canſt yu not heare? Feele then. The plague of Greece vpon thee thou Mungrel beefe-witted Lord. Speake then you whinid'ſt leauen ſpeake, I will beate thee into handſomneſſe. I ſhal ſooner rayle thee into wit and holineſſe: but I thinke thy Horſe wil ſooner con an Oration, then yu learn a prayer without booke: Thou canſt ſtrike, canſt thou? A red Murren o' th thy Iades trickes. Toads ſtoole, learne me the Proclamation. Doeſt thou thinke I haue no ſence thou ſtrik'ſt me thus? The Proclamation. Thou art proclaim'd a foole, I thinke. Do not Porpentine, do not; my fingers itch. I would thou didſt itch from head to foot, and I had the ſcratching of thee, I would make thee the lothſom'ſt ſcab in Greece. I ſay the Proclamation. Thou grumbleſt & raileſt euery houre on Achilles, and thou art as ful of enuy at his greatnes, as Cerberus is at Proſerpina's beauty. I, that thou barkſt at him. Miſtreſſe Therſites. Thou ſhould'ſt ſtrike him. Coblofe. He would pun thee into ſhiuers with his fiſt, as a Sailor breakes a bisket. You horſon Curre. Do, do.