Anonymous · published 1609 · first performed or written 1607 [1599-1608] (Annals) comedy · Children of the King's Revels T41 Household service: masters, doors and po typicality 0.73 · 485 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T41: master, house, door, iohn, old, mistress, basket, lord, gentleman, ick.
Gentles, please you draw near? lead the way into the chambers. Bos is the name of a thing may be seen, felt, heard, or understood, and the nominative case goes before, my Mistress the Verb, my mistress requires an accusative case to follow, as usus feminae promptus facit. Exeunt all but Hostis Oh fie upon't, who would be an hostis, & could do otherwise? Lady, as the most lascivious life, congees and kisses, the tire, the hood, the rabato, the lose bodied Gown, the pin in the hair, and every day change, when an Host must come and go at every man's pleasure: and what's a Lady more than another body? we have legs and hands, rolling eyes, hanging lips, sleek brows, & cherry cheeks, & other things as Ladies have, but the fashion carries it away. There, there my little Lackey boys, again, again, my fine fil-pots, where is my fine Host? come, come my little dido, set your corks on a creaking, my knaves are unthrifty, dance not your canaries, here, up & down, look about to my Guests I say. I, I have much joy, an Hostess! What, abides my Penenelope? here stand thy Ulysses, i'll tarry with thee still, thou shalt want for no cost, i'll buy thee a brave whistle, look about to my Guests I say. I, Hostesses will be known shortly as their Signs, still in one weatherbeaten suit, as though none wear hoods but Monks and Ladies: and feathers, but fore-horses, and Waiting Gentlewomen: or chains but prisoners and Courtiers: no Perywigges but Players and Pictures, but the weakest must to the wall still. Tush tush, these are toys, i'll none of these Flip-flaps, i'll have no hoping, no puffs, nor no Cobwebs: no busks nor burbarrels: thou shalt wear thine own hair, & fine cloth of Sheepskins: thy colour shall be Dowlas, as white as a Lily: i'll kiss these chop-cheries, thou shalt go Gossip at Shrovetide, look about to my Guests then. I, 'twas my hard fortune to be an Hostess, time was I might have done otherwise. Why how now Woman, a'th' old disease still? will it never be better? cannot a Woman find one kind man amongst twenty? ah the days: I have seen, when a Woman's will was a law: if I had had a mind to such a thing, or such a thing, I could have had it, but 'ttwas never better since men were Purse-bearers. Mine is e'en the unnaturallist man to his Wife Truly, and commonly are all such fat men: i'll tell thee Gossip, I have buried six, I six husbands, but if I should live to have as many more, as I know not what may happen, but sure i'd never have such a fat man: they be the most unwieldy men, that women shall not want a sore stomach that's troubled with them I warrant her.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Gentles, pleaſe you draw neere? leade the way into the chambers. Bos is the name of a thing may be ſeene, felt, heard, or vnderſtood, and the nominatiue caſe goes before, my Miſtris the Verbe, my miſtris requires an accuſatiue caſe to follow, as vſus feminae prōptus facit. Exeunt al but Hoſtis Oh fye vpont, who would be an hoſtis, & could do otherwiſe? Ladie, as the moſte laſciuious life, conges and kiſſes, the tyre, the hood, the rebato, the looſe bodyed Gowne, the pin in the haire, and euerie day change, when an Hoſtis muſt come and go at euerye mans pleaſure: and what's a Lady more then another body? wee haue legs and hands, rowling eyes, hanging lips, ſleek browes, & cherie cheeks, & other things as Ladies haue, but the faſhion carries it away. There, there my little Lacky boies, againe, again, my fine fil-pots, where is my fine Hoſtis? come, come my litle dido, ſet your corks on a creaking, my knaues are vnthrifty, dance not your canaries, heere, vp & down, look about to my Gueſts I ſay. I, I haue much ioy, an Hoſteſſe! What, abides my Penenelope? heere ſtand thy Vliſſes, ile tarry with thee ſtil, thou ſhalt wāt for no coſt, ile buy thee a braue whiſtle, looke about to my Gueſtes I ſay. I, Hoſteſſes will bee knowne ſhortlye as their Signes, ſtill in one weather-beaten ſuite, as though none weare hoodes but Monkes and Ladies: and feathers, but fore-horſes, and Waiting Gentlewomen: or chaines but priſoners and Courtiers: no Perywigges but Players and Pictures, but the weakeſt muſt to the wall ſtill. Tuſh tuſh, theſe are toies, ile none of theſe Flip-flaps, ile haue no oping, no puffes, nor no Cobwebs: no busks nor burbarrels: thou ſhalt wear thine own haire, & fine cloath of Sheep-skins: thy colour ſhal be Dowlas, as white as a Lillie: ile kiſſe theſe chop-cheries, thou ſhalt goe Goſſip at Shroue-tide, look about to my Gueſts then. I, twas my hard fortune to be an Hoſteſſe, time was I might haue done otherwiſe. Why how now Woman, a'th olde diſeaſe ſtill? will it neuer be better? cannot a Woman finde one kinde man amongſt twentie? ah the daies: I haue ſeen, when a Womans will was a lawe: if I had had a minde to ſuch a thing, or ſuch a thing, I could haue had it, but twa's neuer better ſince men were Purſe-bearers. Mine is eene the vnnaturalliſt man to his Wife Truely, and commonly are all ſuch fat men: ile tell thee Goſſip, I haue buried ſixe, I ſixe husbands, but if I ſhould liue to haue as many more, as I know not what may happen, but ſure ide neuer haue ſuch a fatte man: they be the moſte vnweldy men, that women ſhall not want a ſore ſtomack that's troubled with them I warrant her.