Anonymous · published 1609 · first performed or written 1607 [1599-1608] (Annals) comedy · Children of the King's Revels T30 Constables, justices and the watch typicality 0.83 · 484 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T30: constable, squire, tub, clay, worship, justice, turf, mr, hun, valentine.
Or if all fail, you may hire a good suit at a Iewes: or at a brokers, 'tis a common thing and specially among the common sort. To search through my house, I have no Varlets no knaves, no stewed prunes, no she fiery phagies, my Chambers are swept, my sinks are all scoured, the honest shall come in, the knaves shall go by, yet will I master Constable, go search through my house, I care not a sheeps skin. We are compelled to do it mine host, a Gentleman is robbed last night, & we are to search every privy corner. Mine host is true metal, a man of reputation, a true Holofernes, he loves juice of grapes, and welcome master Constable. Graccus, how lik'st thou this? Excellent, for now must he needs fall into the Constable's hands: and if he have any grace, 'twil appear in his face, when he shall be carried through the street in a white sheet 'twill be a good penance for his fault. Now fortune favour that my husband find him not he'll be horn mad, & never able to endure it: why woman if he have but as much man in him as a Marrowbone, he'll take the burden upon his own neck, and never discover you Alas here they come, let's away Gossip. Fortune my foe, why dost, etc. Oh fie, that's bitter, pray the go comfort him. Faith he should be innocent by his garment: signor, I grieve for this, but if I can help, look for it. I thank ye sir. We must contaminate our office, pray regard us as little as ye can. Me thinks this should put him quite out of tune: now so, let him go, now to mine Host, there's he, and he, and he, there's she, and she, i'll have about with all: & critics, honnies sweetest, mixed with gall. Go to, there's knaves in my house, I know of no Varlets, I have an eye has his sense, a brain that can reach, I have been called Politician, my wife is my wife, I am her top, i'm her head: if mine Host say the word, the Mouse shall be dun. Not so my sweet Host, mum, mum, no words against your wife, he that means to live quiet, to sleep in clean sheets, a Pillow under his head, his diet dressed cteanely, mum, mum, no words against his wife. thou'rt a fool, thou'rt a fool, be ruled by mine host, show thyself a brave man of the true seed of Troy; a gallant Agamemnon, thou'st a shrew to thy wife, if she cross thy brave humours, kick thy heel at her huckle bone. Gentles, most happily encountered, how good hap hath turned two labours into one, I was addressed to both, and at once have met both, sure I must entreat that you must not deny.
seed 43: T36 · seed 44: T35 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Or if all faile, you may hire a good ſuite at a Iewes: or at a broakers, tis a common thing and ſpecially among the common ſort. To ſearch through my houſe, I haue no Varlets no knaues, no ſtewd prunes, no ſhe fierie phagies, my Chambers are ſwept, my ſinkes are all ſcowred, the honeſt ſhal come in, the knaues ſhall go by, yet wil I maiſter Conſtable, goe ſearch through my houſe, I care not a ſheepes skin. We are compeld to doe it mine hoſt, a Gentlemā is robd laſt night, & we are to ſearch euery priuy corner. Mine hoſt is true Mettall, a man of reputation, a true Holefernes, he loues iuice of grapes, and welcom maiſter Conſtable. Graccus, how likſt thou this? Excellent, for now muſt he needes fall into the Conſtables hands: and if he haue any grace, twil appear in his face, when he ſhall be carried through the ſtreete in a white ſheet twill be a good penance for his fault. Now fortune fauour that my husband find him not Heele be horne mad, & neuer able to indure it: why woman if he haue but as much man in him as a Maribone, heele take the burthen vppon his own necke, and neuer diſcouer you Alas heere they come, lets away Goſſip. Fortune my foe, why dooſt, &c. Oh fye, that's bitter, pre the goe comfort him. Faith he ſhould be innocent by his garment: Signior, I grieue for this, but if I can help, looke for it. I thanke ye ſir. We muſt contaminate our office, pray regard vs as little as ye can. Me thinkes this ſhold put him quite out of tune: now ſo, let him goe, now to mine Hoſt, theres he, and hee, and he, theres ſhee, and ſhe, ile haue about with all: & critiques, honnys ſweeteſt, mixt with gal. Goe to, there's knaues in my houſe, I know of no Varlets, I haue an eye has his ſence, a braine that can reach, I haue bene cald Polititian, my wife is my wife, I am her top, i'me her head: if mine Hoſt ſay the word, the Mouſe ſhall be dun. Not ſo my ſweet Hoſt, mum, mum, no words againſt your wife, he that meanes to liue quiet, to ſleep in cleane ſheetes, a Pillowe vnder his head, his dyet dreſt cteanely, mum, mum, no words againſt his wife. Thar't a foole, thar't a foole, bee rulde by mine hoſt, ſhew thy ſelf a braue man of the true ſeede of Troy; a gallant Agamemnon, tha'ſt a ſhrew to thy wife, if ſhee croſſe thy braue humors, kicke thy heele at her huckle bone. Gentles, moſt happily encountred, how good hap hath turnd two labours into one, I was addreſt to both, and at once haue met both, ſure I muſt intreate that you muſt not deny.