Jonson, Ben · published 1620 · first performed or written 1609 (Annals) comedy · Children of the Queen's Revels unassigned nearest T27 Uncles, nephews and cousins: kinship and · 469 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T27: uncle, niece, nephew, gentlemen, faith, cousin, wife, house, gentleman, money.
O, i' the queen's time, he was wont to go out of Town every Saturday at ten o'clock, or on Holy-day-eves. But now, by reason of the sickness, the perpetuity of ringing has made him devise a room, with double walls, and treble feelings; the windows close shut, and called: and there he lives by Candlelight. He turned away a man last week, for having a pair of new Shoes, that creaked. And this fellow waits on him now, in Tennis-court Socks, or Slippers soled with Wool: and they talk each to other, in a Trunk. See who comes here. HOw now! what all you Sirs? dumb? Struck into stone almost, I am here, with Tales o' thine Uncle! There was never such a Prodigy heard of. I would you would once lose this subject, my masters, for my sake. They are such as you are, that have brought me into that predicament, I am, with him. How is that? Marry, that he will disinherit me, no more. He thinks, I, and my company are Authors of all the ridiculous Acts, and Monuments are told of him. 'Slid, I would be the Author of more, to vex him, that purpose deserves it: it gives thee law of plaguing him. I'll tell thee what I would do. I would make a false almanac; get it printed: and then ha' him drawn out on a Coronation day to the tower-wharf, and kill him with the noise of the Ordinance. Disinherit thee! he cannot, man. Art not thou next of blood, and his sister's Son? ay but he will thrust me out of it, he vows, and marry. How! that's a more portent. Can he endure no noise, and will venture on a Wife? Yes: why, thou art a stranger, it seems, to his best trick, yet. He has employed a fellow this half year, all over England, to hearken him out a dumb woman; be she of any form, or any quality, so she be able to bear children: her silence is Dowry enough, he says. But, I trust to God, he has found none. No, but he has heard of one that's lodged i' the next street to him, who is exceedingly soft-spoken; thrifty of her speech; that spends but six words a day. And her he's about now, and shall have her. Is't possible! who is his agent i' the business? Marry, a Barber, one Cutberd: an honest fellow, one that tells Dauphine all here. Why, you oppress me with wonder! A woman, and a Barber, and love no noise! Yes faith. The fellow trims him silently, and has not the knack with his shears, or his fingers: and that continence in a Barber he thinks so eminent a virtue, as it has made him chief of his counsel.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
O, i' the Queenes time, he was woont to goe out of Towne euery Satterday at ten a clocke, or on Holy-day-eues. But now, by reaſon of the ſickneſſe, the perpetuitie of ringing has made him deuiſe a roome, with double walles, and treble feelings; the windores cloſe ſhut, and calle'd: and there he liues by Candle-light. Hee turn'd away a man laſt weeke, for hauing a paire of new Shooes, that creak'd. And this fellow wayts on him now, in Tennis-court Sockes, or Slippers ſol'd with Wooll: and they talke each to other, in a Trunke. See who comes here. HOw now! what alle you Sirs? dumbe? Strooke into ſtone almoſt, I am here, with Tales o' thine Vncle! There was neuer ſuch a Prodigie heard of. I would you would once looſe this ſubiect, my maſters, for my ſake. They are ſuch as you are, that haue brought me into that predicament, I am, with him. How is that? Marry, that he will diſ-inherit mee, no more. Hee thinkes, I, and my companie are Authours of all the ridiculous Acts, and Moniments are told of him. Slid, I would bee the Authour of more, to vexe him, that purpoſe deſerues it: it giues thee law of plaguing him. I'll tell thee what I would doe. I would make a falſe Almanake; get it printed: and then ha' him drawne out on a Coronation day to the Tower-Wharfe, and kill him with the noyſe of the Ordinance. Diſ-inherit thee! hee cannot, man. Art not thou next of bloud, and his Siſters Sonne? I but hee will thruſt mee out of it, hee vowes, and marry. How! that's a more portent. Can he endure no noiſe, and will venter on a Wife? Yes: why, thou art a ſtranger, it ſeemes, to his beſt tricke, yet. He has imployd a fellow this halfe yeere, all ouer England, to harken him out a dumbe woman; be ſhe of any forme, or any qualitie, ſo ſhee be able to beare children: her ſilence is Dowrie enough, he ſayes. But, I truſt to God, he has found none. No, but he has heard of one that's lodg'd i' the next ſtreet to him, who is exceedingly ſoft-ſpoken; thrifty of her ſpeech; that ſpends but ſixe words a day. And her he's about now, and ſhall haue her. Is't poſſible! who is his agent i' the buſineſſe? Marry, a Barber, one Cut-berd: an honeſt fellow, one that tels Dauphine all here. Why, you oppreſſe me with wonder! A woman, and a Barber, and loue no noyſe! Yes faith. The fellow trims him ſilently, and has not the knacke with his Sheeres, or his fingers: and that continence in a Barber hee thinkes ſo emient a vertue, as it has made him chiefe of his counſell.