Jonson, Ben · published 1620 · first performed or written 1609 (Annals) comedy · Children of the Queen's Revels T27 Uncles, nephews and cousins: kinship and typicality 0.83 · 503 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T27: uncle, niece, nephew, gentlemen, faith, cousin, wife, house, gentleman, money.
You ha' not, I hope. Yes faith; and thou shouldst hope otherwise, I should repent me: this Horn got me entrance, kiss it. I had no other way to get in, but by feigning to be a Post; but when I got in once, I proved none, but rather the contrary, turned him into a Post, or a Stone, or what is stiffer, with thundering into him the incommodities of a Wife, and the miseries of Marriage. If ever Gorgon were seen in the shape of a woman, he hath seen her in my description. I have put him off o' that sent, for ever. Why do you not applaud, and adore me, Sirs? why stand you mute? Are you stupid? you are not worthy o' the benefit. Did not I tell you? mischief!— I would you had placed this benefit somewhere else. Why so? 'slight you have done the most inconsiderate, rash, weak thing, that ever man did to his friend. Friend! if the most malicious enemy I have, had studied to inflict an injury upon me, it could not be a greater. Wherein? for God's sake! Gent, come to yourselves again. But I presaged thus much afore, to you. Would my lips had been soldered, when I spoke on't. 'slight, what moved you to be thus impertinent? My Masters, do not put on this strange face to pay my courtesy: off with this Visor. Have good turns done you and thank 'em this way? Fore Heaven, you have undone me. That, which I have plotted for, and been maturing now these four Months, you have blasted in a minute: now I am lost, I may speak. This Gentlewoman was lodged here by me o' purpose, and, to be put upon my Uncle, hath professed this obstinate silence for my sake, being my entire friend; and one, that for the requital of such a fortune, as to marry him, would have made me very ample conditions: where now, all my hopes are utterly miscarried by this unlucky accident. Thus 'tis, when a man will be ignorantly officious; do services, and not know his why: I wonder what courteous itch possessed you! you never did absurder part i' your life, nor a greater trespass to friendship, to humanity. Faith, you may forgive it, best: 'twas your cause principally. I know it, would it had not. How now, Cutberd? what news? The best, the happiest that ever was, Sir. There has been a mad Gentleman with your Uncle, this morning, (I think this be the Gentleman) that has almost talked him out of his wits, with threatening him from Marriage— On, I pray thee. And your Uncle, Sir, he thinks 'twas done by your procurement; therefore he will see the party, you wot of, presently: and if he like her, he says, and that she be so inclining to dumb, as I have told him, he swears, he will marry her, today, instantly, and not defer it a minute longer. Excellent! beyond our expectation!
Other edition — placed after the fit, excluded from the main statistics
Position
nodes 253–272 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 13 of 52 in this edition
Length
503 words · 677 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T27 — Uncles, nephews and cousins: kinship and patronagecross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.828 (cosine to the topic centroid) · placed after the fit (approximate_predict), not counted in the topic statistics
Other seeds
seed 43: T39 · seed 44: T37 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
You ha'not, I hope. Yes faith; and thou ſhouldſt hope otherwſſe, I ſhould repent me: this Horne got mee entrance, kiſſe it. I had no other way to get in, but by fayning to be a Poſt; but when I got in once, I prou'd none, but rather the contrary, turn'd him into a Poſt, or a Stone, or what is ſtiffer, with thundring into him the incommodities of a Wife, and the miſeries of Marriage. If euer Gorgon were ſeene in the ſhape of a woman, he hath ſeene her in my deſcription. I haue put him off o' that ſent, for euer. Why doe you not applaud, and adore me, Sirs? why ſtand you mute? Are you ſtupid? you are not worthy o' the benefit. Did not I tell you? miſchiefe! — I would you had plac'd this benefit ſomewhere elſe. Why ſo? Slight you haue done the moſt inconſiderate, raſh, weake thing, that euer man did to his friend. Friend! if the moſt malicious enemy I haue, had ſtudied to inflict an iniury vpon mee, it could not bee a greater. Wherein? for gods ſake! Gent, come to your ſelues againe. But I preſag'd thus much afore, to you. Would my lips had beene ſoldred, when I ſpake on't. Slight, what mou'd you to be thus impertinent? My Maſters, doe not put on this ſtrange face to pay my courteſic: off with this Viſor. Haue good turnes done you and thanke 'hem this way? Fore Heau'n, you haue vndone me. That, which I haue plotted for, and beene maturing now theſe foure Moneths, you haue blaſted in a minute: now I am loſt, I may ſpeake. This Gentlewoman was lodg'd here by mee o' purpoſe, and, to be put vpon my Vncle, hath profeſt this obſtinate ſilence for my ſake, being my entyre friend; and one, that for the requitall of ſuch a fortune, as to marry him, would haue made me very ample conditions: where now, all my hopes are vtterly miſcarryed by this vnlucky accident. Thus 'tis, when a man will be ignorantly officious; doe ſeruices, and not know his why: I wonder what curteous itch poſſeſſ'd you! you neuer did abſurder part i' your life, nor a greater treſpaſſe to friendſhip, to humanitie. Faith, you may forgiue it, beſt: 'twas your cauſe principally. I know it, would it had not. How now, Cutberd? what newes? The beſt, the happieſt that euer was, Sir. There has beene a mad Gentleman with your Vncle, this morning, (I thinke this be the Gentleman) that has almoſt talk'd him out of his wits, with threatning him from Marriage— On, I pray thee. And your Vncle, Sir, he thinkes 'twas done by your procurement; therefore he will ſee the partie, you wot of, preſently: and if hee like her, hee ſayes, and that ſhee be ſo inclining to dombe, as I haue told him, he ſweares, hee will marry her, to day, inſtantly, and not deferre it a minute longer. Excellent! beyond our expectation!