Englishmen for My Money, or A Woman Will Have Her Will · chunk 32 of 43
Haughton, William · published 1616 · first performed or written 1598 [Feb 18-May 9, payment] (Annals) comedy · Admiral's (Nottingham's) Men unassigned nearest T47 Knaves, thieves and bawds · 493 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T47: knave, rogue, money, knaves, thief, rogues, pray, whore, nichol, book.
Be not so testy, hear what we can say. Will you be wived? first learn to keep a wife, Learn to be thrifty, learn to keep your Lands, And learn to pay your debts to, I advise, else. What else, what Lands, what Debts, what will you do? Have you not Land in Mortgage for your money, Nay since 'tis so, we owe you not a Penny, Fret not, Fume not, never bend the Brow: You take Tenn in the hundred more than Law, We can complain, extortion, simony, Newgate hath Rome, there's Law enough in England. prithee have done. Prithee me no prithees. Here is my wife, 'sblood touch her, if thou darest, Hearst thou, I'll lie with her before thy face, Against the Cross in Cheap, here, anywhere. What you old crafty Fox you. Ned, stop there. Nay, nay speak out, bear witness Gentlemen, where's Mowche, charge my Musket, bring me my Bill, For here are some that mean to Rob thy master. I am a Fox with you, well Iack sauce, Beware least for a Goose, I pray on you. In baggages, Mowche make fast the door. A vengeance on ill luck, What never storm, But bridle anger with wise government. Whom? Anthony our friend, Ah now our hopes, Are found too light to balance our ill haps. Tut near say so, for Anthony Is not devoid of means to help his Friends. 'swounds, what a devil made he forth so late I'll lay my life 'twas he that feigned to sleep, And we all unsuspicious, termed a rogue: Oh God, had I but known him; if I had, I would have writ such Letters with my Sword Upon the bald skin of his parching pate, That he should near have lived to cross us more. These menaces are vain, and helpeth nought: But I have in the depth of my conceit Found out a more material stratagem: Hark Master Walgrave, yours craves quick dispatch, About it straight, stay not to say farewell. You Master Heigham, hie you to your Chamber, And stir not forth, my shadow, or myself, Will in the morning early visit you; Build on my promise sir, and good night. Last, yet as great in love, as to the first: If you remember, once I told a jest, How feigning to be sick, a Friend of mine Possessed the happy issue of his Love: That counterfeited humour must you play; I need not to instruct, you can conceive, Use master brown your Host, as chief in this: But first, to make the matter seem more true, Sickly and sadly bid the churl good night; I hear him at the Window, there he is. Now for a trick to overreach the Devil. I tell you sir, you wrong my master much, And then to make amends, you give hard words: H'ath been a friend to you; nay more, a Father: I promise you, 'tis most ungently done.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Be not ſo teſtie, heare what we can ſay. Will you be wiu'de? firſt learne to keepe a wife, Learne to be thriftie, learne to keepe your Lands, And learne to pay your debts to, I aduiſe, elſe. What elſe, what Lands, what Debts, what will you doe? Haue you not Land in Morgage for your mony, Nay ſince tis ſo, we owe you not a Penny, Frette not, Fume not, neuer bende the Browe: You take Tenn in the hundred more then Law, We can complayne, extortion, ſimony, Newgate hath Rome, thers Law enough in England. Prethe haue done. Prethy me no Prethies. Here is my wife, Sbloud touch her, if thou darſt, Hearſt thou, Ile lie with her before thy face, Againſt the Croſſe in Cheape, here, any where. What you old craftie Fox you. Ned, ſtop there. Nay, nay ſpeake out, beare witneſſe Gentlemen, Whers Mowche, charge my Musket, bring me my Bill, For here are ſome that meane to Rob thy maiſter. I am a Fox with you, well Iack ſawce, Beware leaſt for a Gooſe, I pray on you. In baggages, Mowche make faſt the doore. A vengeance on ill lucke, What neuer ſtorme, But bridle anger with wiſe gouernment. Whom? Anthony our friend, Ah now our hopes, Are found too light to ballance our ill happes. Tut nere ſay ſo, for Anthony Is not deuoyde of meanes to helpe his Friends. Swounds, what a diuell made he foorth ſo late Ile lay my life twas hee that fainde to ſleepe, And we all vnſuſpitious, tearmde a Roage: Oh God, had I but knowne him; if I had, I would haue writt ſuch Letters with my Sword Vpon the bald skin of his parching pate, That he ſhould nere haue liude to croſſe vs more. Theſe menaces are vaine, and helpeth naught: But I haue in the deapth of my conceit Found out a more materiall ſtratagem: Harke Maiſter Walgraue, yours craues quicke diſpatch, About it ſtraight, ſtay not to ſay farewell. You Maiſter Heigham, hie you to your Chamber, And ſtirre not foorth, my ſhaddow, or my ſelfe, Will in the morning earely viſit you; Build on my promiſe ſir, and good night. Laſt, yet as great in loue, as to the firſt: Yf you remember, once I told a ieſt, How feigning to be ſicke, a Friend of mine Poſſeſt the happy iſſue of his Loue: That counterfeited humor muſt you play; I need not to inſtruct, you can conceiue, Vſe maiſter Browne your Hoſt, as chiefe in this: But firſt, to make the matter ſeeme more true, Sickly and ſadly bid the churle good night; I heare him at the Window, there he is. Now for a tricke to ouerreach the Diuell. I tell you ſir, you wrong my maiſter much, And then to make amends, you giue hard words: H'ath been a friend to you; nay more, a Father: I promiſe you, tis moſt vngently done.