The Two Merry Milkmaids, or The Best Words Wear the Garland · chunk 53 of 54
Cumber, John · published 1620 · first performed or written 1619 [1619-1620] (Annals) comedy · Red Bull (Revels) Company (first) · before the Court unassigned nearest T16 Gallantry: ladies, lordships and complim · 486 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T16: lady, madam, gentleman, lordship, ladies, honour, mistress, sweet, court, servant.
Illustrious, bright shining, well spoken, and blood stirring Lady. ay, marry Sir. If the Rope of my Capacity, could reach to the Belfry of your Beauty, these words of mine like silver Bells, might be worthy to hang in the ears of your favour but the Ladder of my Invention is too low to climb up to the Steeple of your Understanding. Excellent Smirke. If it were not, I should ring out my mind to you in a sweet Peal of most savoury conceits. For your face it is like the Sun, no man is able to endure it. That's very good. Your forehead which I will neither compare unto Alabaster, nor to the Lily, but it is as it is, and so are both your eyes, for your Nose, it is a well arched Bridge, which for brevity's sake I pass over: your Cheeks are like a good Comedy, worthy to be clapped: your Lips, and your Teeth are incomparable; your Tongue like the instrument of Orpheus, able to tame the furies: to handle every part of you were too much, but some particular part, no man can sufficient. Prithee let me give thee a box on the care, for that conceit. No my good Lord, pray keep your bounties. From top to toe you are a sweet vessel of delight, I dare not say a Barrel, for oftentimes with much jolting, the Brewer beats out the Bunghole, and so the good liquour runs out, but you contain yours although not hooped about with the old fashioned farthingale, but after the new fashion tied up with points, to untruss at your pleasure, In which pleasure I leave you, fairest of a hundred, and wittiest of a thousand: resting in little rest, till I rest wholly yours, in the down-bed of affection, wherever standing to my utmost, I rest all in all yours. Could any man say more. Your censures hereafter Gentlemen; now Sir I challenge you in verse, in praise of tall women, and little women, and choose your subject, which you refuse I'll take. Why then I'll take your little women. And I your lusty— proceed. ay, here will be some sport now. The Duke calls to see the Epistles. And they are worth his perusal. We must have Patience, for this verse wonot come of so roundly as your Prose. Best have a song to entertain the time. 'Twere not a miss. Music— Scripsi. Sed non feci, Stay a little, here's a couple of lines, a halter on 'em, they wonot twist handsomely, go forward I have ended. Attention. Listen you tall and likewise you low man, I sing the praises of a bouncing woman. A full well set big-boned and fairly jointed, Fit to bid welcome men that are best appointed. Excellent. To your tall woman your little one is nothing, No more than is a high thing to a low thing.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Illustrious, bright shining, well spoken, and blood stirring Lady. I, marry Sir. If the Rope of my Capacitie, could reach to the Belfrie of your Beautie, these words of mine like siluer Bels, might be worthy to hang in the eares of your fauor but the Ladder of my Inuention is to low to clime vp to the Steeple of your Vnderstanding. Excellent Smirke. If it were not, I shoud ring out my minde to you in a sweet Peale of most sauory conceits. For your face it is like the Sun, no man is able to indure it. That's very good. Your forehead which I will neither compare vnto Alablaster, nor to the Lilly, but it is as it is, and so are both your eyes, for your Nose, it is a well arched Bridge, which for breuities sake I passe ouer: your Cheeks are like a good Comedy, worthy to bee clapt: your Lips, and your Teeth are incomparable; your Tongue like the instrument of Orpheus, able to tame the furies: to handle euery part of you were too much, but some particular part, no man can sufficient. Prithee let me giue thee a box on the care, for that conceit. No my good Lord, pray keepe your bounties. From top to toe you are a sweete vessell of delight, I dare not say a Barrell, for oftentimes with much ioulting, the Brewer beates out the Bunghole, and so the good liquor runs out, but you containe yours although not hoopt about with the old fashion'd farthingall, but after the new fashion ti'd vp with points, to vntrusse at your pleasure, In which pleasure I leaue you, fairest of a hundred, and wittiest of a thousand: resting in little rest, till I rest wholy yours, in the Downe-Bed of affection, where euer standing to my vtmost, I rest all in all yours. Coud any man say more. Your censures heereafter Gentlmen; now Sir I challenge you in verse, in praise of tall women, and little women, and chuse your subiect, which you refuse Ile take. Why then Ile take your little women. And I your lusty—proceede. I, heere will be some sport now. The Duke calls to see the Epistles. And they are worth his perusall. We must haue Patience, for this verse wonnot come of so roundly as your Prose. Best haue a song to entertaine the time. 'Twere not a misse. Musicke— Scripsi. Sed non feci, Stay a little, here's a couple of lines, a halter on 'hem, they wonnot twist handsomely, go forward I haue ended. Attention. Listen you tall and likewise you low man, I sing the prayses of a bouncing woman. A full wellset bigge-bon'd and fairely ioynted, Fit to bid welcome men that are best appointed. Excellent. To your tall woman your little one is nothing, No more then isa high thing to a low thing.