The Devil's Law Case (When Women Go to Law the Devil Is Full of Business) · chunk 9 of 45
Webster, John · published 1623 · first performed or written 1619 [1617-1621] (Annals) tragicomedy · Queen Anne's Men T6 Money, debt and credit typicality 0.74 · 489 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T6: money, master, pound, law, lawyer, chain, gentleman, gold, pay, pray.
Freely: For I protest, if that I could conceive My son would take more pleasure or content, By any course of riot, in the expense, Than I took joy, nay soul's felicity In the getting of it, should all the wealth I have Waste to as small an atomy as Flies I'th' unne, I do protest on that condition, It should not move me. How's this? Cannot he take more pleasure in spending it riotously, than you have done by scraping it together: O ten thousand times more, and I make no question, five hundred young gallants will be of my opinion. Why all the time of your Collectionship, Has been a perpetual Callender, begin first With your melancholy study of the Law Before you come to singer the Ruddocks, after that The tiring importunity of Clients, To rise so early, and sit up so late, You made yourself half ready in a dream, And never prayed but in your sleep: Can I think, That you have halfe your lungs left with crying out For judgements, and days of Trial. Remember sir, How often have I borne you on my shoulder, Among a shoal or swarm of reeking Nightcaps, When that your Worship has bepissed yourself, Either with vehemency of Argument, Or being out from the matter. I am merry. Be so. You could eat like a Gentleman, at leisure; But swallow it like Hap-dragons, as if you had lived With chewing the Cud after. No pleasure in the world was comparable to't. Possible? He shall never taste the like, unless he study law. What, not in wenching sir? 'tis a Court game, believe it, As familiar as Gleek, or any other. Wenching? O fie, the Disease follows it: Beside, can the fingering taffeties, or Lawns, Or a painted hand, or a Breast be like the pleasure In taking Clients fees, and piling them In several goodly rows before my Desk? And according to the bigness of each heap, Which I took by a lere: for Lawyers do not tell them, I veiled my cap, and withal gave great hope The Cause should go on their sides. What think you then Of a good cry of Hounds? It has been known Dogs have hunted Lordships to a fault. Cry of Curs? The noise of Clients at my Chamber door, Was sweeter Music far, in my conceit, Than all the Haunting in Europe. Pray stay sir, Say he should spend it in good Housekeeping. I marry sir, to have him keep a good house, And not sell't away, I'd find no fault with that: But his Kitchen, I'd have no bigger than a Saw-pit; For the smallness of a Kitchen without question, Makes many Noblemen in France and Spain, Build the rest of the house the bigger. Yes, Mock-beggars. Some seven-score Chimneys, But halfe of them have no tunnels. A pox upon them cuckshaws that beget Such monsters without fundaments.
nodes 538–601 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 9 of 45 in this edition
Length
489 words · 657 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T6 — Money, debt and creditcross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.736 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T9 · seed 44: T10 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Freely: For I protest, if that I could conceaue My sonne would take more pleasure or content, By any course of ryot, in the expence, Then I tooke ioy, nay soules felicitie In the getting of it, should all the wealth I haue Waste to as small an atomy as Flies I'th 'unne, I doe protest on that condition, It should not mooue mee. How's this? Cannot hee take more peasure in spending it ryotously, then you haue done by scraping it together: O ten thousand times more, and I make no question, fiue hundred yong gallants wil be of my opiniō. Why all the time of your Collectionship, Has bene a perpetuall Callender, begin first With your melancholly studie of the Law Before you come to singer the Ruddocks, after that The tyring importunitie of Clyents, To rise so early, and sit vp so late, You made your selfe halfe ready in a dreame, And neuer prayed but in your sleepe: Can I thinke, That you haue halfe your lungs left with crying out For Iudgements, and dayes of Tryall. Remember sir, How often haue I borne you on my shoulder, Among a shale or swarme of reeking Night-caps, When that your Worship has bepist yourselfe, Either with vehemency of Argument, Or being out from the matter. I am merry. Be so. You could eat like a Gentleman, at leasure; But swallow it like lap-dragons, as if you had liued With chewing the Cud after. No pleasure in the world was comparable too't. Possible? He shall neuer taste the like, vnlesse he study law. What, not in wenching sir? Tis a Court game, beleeue it, As familiar as Gleeke, or any other. Wenching? O fie, the Disease followes it: Beside, can the fingring Taffaties, or Lawnes, Or a painted hand, or a Brest be like the pleasure In taking Clyents fees, and piling them In seuerall goodly rowes before my Deske? And according to the bignesse of each heape, Which I tooke by a leare: for Lawyers do not tell them, I vayl'd my cap, and withall gaue great hope The Cause should goe on their sides. What thinke you then Of a good crie of Hounds? It has bene knowen Dogs haue hunted Lordships to a fault. Cry of Curres? The noyse of Clyents at my Chamber doore, Was sweeter Musicke farre, in my conceit, Then all the Hanting in Europe. Pray stay sir, Say he should spend it in good House-keeping. I marry sir, to haue him keepe a good house, And not sell't away, Ide find no fault with that: But his Kitchin, Ide haue no bigger then a Saw-pit; For the smalnesse of a Kitchin without question, Makes many Noblemen in France and Spaine, Build the rest of the house the bigger. Yes, Mock-beggers. Some seuenscore Chimneyes, But halfe of them haue no Tonnels. A pox vpon them Cuckshawes that beget Such monsters without fundaments.