The Devil's Law Case (When Women Go to Law the Devil Is Full of Business) · chunk 20 of 45
Webster, John · published 1623 · first performed or written 1619 [1617-1621] (Annals) tragicomedy · Queen Anne's Men unassigned nearest T46 Swords, quarrels and valour · 491 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T46: rapier, sword, fight, gentlemen, gentleman, kicked, kill, dagger, signor, valour.
My desperate stiletto, that may be worn In a woman's hair, and ne'er discovered, And either would be taken for a Bodkin, Or a curling iron at most; why 'tis an engine, That's only fit to put in execution Barmotho Pigs, A most unmanly weapon, That steals into a man's life he knows not how: O great Caesar, he that past the shock Of so many armed Pikes, and poisoned Darts, Swords, Slings, and Battleaxes, should at length Sitting at ease on a cushion, come to die By such a shoemaker's awl as this, his soul et forth At a hole, no bigger than the incision Made for a wheal: vos foot, I am horribly angry, That he should die so scurvily: yet wherefore Do I condemn thee thereof so cruelly? Yet shake him by the hand, 'tis to express, That I would never have such weapons used, But in a plot like this, that's treacherous: Yet this shall prove most merciful to thee, For it shall preserve thee From dying on a public Scaffold, and withal Bring thee an absolute Cure, thus. So, 'tis done: and now for my escape. You Rogue mountebank, I will try whether your innards can endure To be washed in scalding lead. Hold, I turn Christian. Nay prithee be a Iew still; I would not have a Christian be guilty Of such a villainous act as this is. I am Romelio the Merchant. Romelio! you have proved yourself A cunning Merchant indeed. You may read why I came hither. Yes, in a bloody Roman Letter. I did hate this man, each minute of his breath Was torture to me. Had you forborn this act, he had not lived This two hours. But he had died then, And my revenge unsatisfied: here's gold; Never did wealthy man purchase the silence Of a terrible scolding wife at a dearer rate, Than I will pay for yours: here's your earnest In a bag of double Ducats. Why look you sir, as I do weigh this business, This cannot be counted murder in you by no means. Why 'tis no more, then should I go and choke An Irish man, that were three quarters drowned, With powering Usquebath in's throat. You will be secret As your soul. (then. The west Indies shall sooner want gold, than you That protestation has the music of the Mint in't. How unfortunately was I surprised, I have made myself a slave perpetually to these two beggars. Excellent; by this act he has made his estate ours. He presently grow a lazy Surgeon, & ride on my foot-cloth; He fetch from him every eight days a policy for a hundred double Ducats; if he grumble, I'll peach. But let's take heed he do not poison us. Oh, I will never eat nor drink with him, Without unicorn's Horn in a hollow tooth. Oh. Did he not groan? Is the wind in that door still?
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
My desperate Steeletto, that may be worne In a womans haire, and nere discouer'd, And either would be taken for a Bodkin, Or a curling yron at most; why tis an engine, That's onely fit to put in execution Barmotho Pigs, A most vnmanly weapon, That steales into a mans life he knowes not how: O great Caesar, he that past the shocke Of so many armed Pikes, and poyson'd Darts, Swords, Slings, and Battleaxes, should at length Sitting at ease on a cushion, come to dye By such a Shoo-makers aule as this, his soule et forth At a hole, no bigger then the incision Made for a wheal: vos foot, I am horribly angry, That he should dye so scuruily: yet wherefore Doe I condemne thee thereof so cruelly? Yet shake him by the hand, tis to expresse, That I would neuer haue such weapons vsed, But in a plot like this, that's treacherous: Yet this shall prooue most mercifull to thee, For it shall preserue thee From dying on a publique Scaffold, and withall Bring thee an absolute Cure, thus. So, tis done: and now for my escape. You Rogue Mountebanke, I will try whether your inwards can indure To be washt in scalding lead. Hold, I turne Christian. Nay prethee bee a Iew still; I would not haue a Christian be guiltie Of such a villanous act as this is. I am Romelio the Marchant. Romelio! you haue prooued your selfe A cunning Marchant indeed. You may reade why I came hither. Yes, in a bloudy Roman Letter. I did hate this man, each minute of his breath Was torture to me. Had you forborne this act, he had not liu'd This two houres. But he had died then, And my reuenge vnsatisfied: here's gold; Neuer did wealthy man purchase the silence Of a terrible scolding wife at a dearer rate, Then I will pay for yours: here's your earnest In a bag of double Duckets. Why looke you sir, as I do weigh this busines, This cannot be counted murder in you by no meanes. Why tis no more, then should I goe and choke An Irish man, that were three quarters drownd, With powring Vsquebath in's throat. You will be secret As your soule. (then. The west Indies shall sooner want gold, then you That protestation has the musick of the Mint in't. How vnfortunatly was I surpriz'd, I haue made my selfe a slaue perpetually to these two beggars. Excellent; by this act he has made his estate ours. He presently grow a lazy Surgeon, & ride on my foot-cloth; He fetch from him euery eight dayes a policy for a hundred double Duckets; if hee grumble, Ile peach. But let's take heed he doe not poyson vs. Oh, I will neuer eate nor drinke with him, Without Vnicornes Horne in a hollow tooth. Oh. Did he not groane? Is the wind in that doore still?